u/PieDizzy2820

I 28f am pregnant with my husband 28m and I’s first baby. We’ve known for awhile (I am about 20weeks) but just reached out to extended family to share the news. It is somewhat important to know that I am Black and my husband is White. Of course just about everybody took the news well and are really excited about the new baby. This will be the first grandbaby on my husbands side and I am the last sibling in my family to have a baby so they’re all very excited and surprised.

On to the issue. The people on my husbands side of the family have all been very accepting towards me, which of course is something you look at when dating/marrying outside of your race. Everyone has been kind, and open, and shown up for us in more ways than we can count. With the exception of his granddad 83m. He in general is just a nasty old man but is particularly cold towards me. My husband and I have been together for four years before getting married and in the first two years he wouldn’t even speak to me outside of saying hello. One time while playing a card game with the family, I miscounted and he said “I thought you were a school teacher, and you can’t count”. It was taken as a joke but honestly if you have barely spoken to me in the 5 years that I’ve been in this family and that’s the one thing you say, it sits more as an insult then fun banter. So, when he’s around I don’t assert myself and just let him be.

Last night we called his grandparents to share the news. His grandmother picked up the phone (FaceTime) she was sitting in the dining room. His granddad was sitting in the living room, which is connected to dining room. He was in earshot of the conversation, and had even asked who she was speaking too, which she told him it was us. We shared the news and she was thrilled and excited to learn about the baby and of course congratulated us. We asked if she could give the phone to his granddad and all you hear was a very stern and aggressive “NO” and then the phone hangs up. Idk. It really made me feel some type of way. My husband is making the excuse that he’s older and not in good health. But honestly regardless of me, he could have at least said congratulations to his own grandson.

So I told my husband that, I am tired of his behavior and if that’s how he’s going to act he CANNOT hold or be around our children. They’ve tolerated his rudeness for so long and chopped it up to “that’s just how he is”. For me it’s not acceptable and I have no allegiance to him to continue to give him grace in these types of situations. If he wants to be nasty and bitter, he can be nasty and bitter on his own. Why would I keep subjecting myself and now my child to that. It’s toxic and abusive. My husband thinks I’m overreacting and that he’s old and will probably die soon, and I should just keep the peace because not allowing him to hold our kid will start drama.

Also it’s important to note that I understand that people have boundaries and if they don’t want to speak on the phone they don’t have to. I also understand that not everyone is going to be excited about our news. He pretty much acted the same way when we shared that we were getting married. He said a short congratulations and hung up the phone. But it’s just heartbreaking to see the lack of care that he gives to my husband and him just accepting it over and over again. So would I be wrong for keeping my child from him?

TLDR: My husbands grandfather is a bitter old man and maybe even a racists. I don’t want him around my child am I wrong for wanting to stay away?

I made a post a few months ago about whether or not I should tell my family that I’m pregnant. Well I am now 17 weeks and have told about 5 people. My husband of course knows, my mom, his parents, one coworker in case of emergencies and a friend who asked me to be in their wedding (I told her because of commitment and timing). I have been very content with this and do not want to tell other people.

My mom and husband on the other hand along with my one friend do not agree with me. I guess to preface, my husband and I just got married last year and that was extremely stressful and draining. We did not plan to get pregnant this soon into our marriage (though we obviously wasn’t actively preventing so of course it was bound to happen).

During our wedding season, I felt so alone and overwhelmed from planning by myself with very limited help. My family was questioning why I was spending so much money on my wedding. On top of that, there was so much family drama and bickering from my siblings, my dad, aunts and so on.

Also, my sister just had a baby in the last 18 months, and her pregnancy/postpartum was extremely challenging because again, my family has the tendency to take something positive and turn it into something negative. Because of this, I want to keep my pregnancy to myself and just enjoy the moment.

My husband and I are both first time parents, and he is the complete opposite. He is excited to share the news with his siblings and family, and he is also thinking about all the gifts we will receive. We are not in a tough place financially so I don’t care about the gifts or wanting things from people.

My mom said that I am weird for this, and today she said “I just don’t understand how someone who always feel like they aren’t supported refused to tell people about good news and accept support”. I told her her maybe it’s just a trauma response from never being supported. Why would I expect people to change all of a sudden. I get that it’s good news and I am happy to become a mom. Idk I’m just having a hard time opening up to people about it. I also don’t want to take away from my husbands experience as a dad.

My plans are truly to just show up with a baby one day and people find out when it gets here lol.

So I guess, am I being weird for not wanting to tell people?

I am currently pregnant with my first baby due in December. My family lives in the same town as me, and it takes less than 30 minutes for any of them to show up. My husband’s family however, lives in another state about 6-7 hours away.

They are in town on a visit and we just told his parents we are expecting. On my side of the family, only my mom knows and I only told her just in case of an emergency. I still plan on keeping quiet until we approach the end of the second trimester.

My baby will be the first grandchild and even great grandchild on my husband’s side of the family. As for me this will be like the 4th grandchild. So it’s a big deal because it’s my first but not anything new.

My husband and I were supposed to go on Christmas vacation with his family to the beach but obviously that’s not going to happen. And they are now in talks of canceling their plans. I am trying to encourage them not to because it’ll just be a lot of sitting around waiting. I am also wondering do we host them at our house when the baby arrives? My family will likely come and go but for them do we tell them to get a hotel? I do enjoy my in laws, but I will say, being with them I feel like I’m on all the time. Anyways, what has been y’alls experience and how do you deal with your out of town family?

I am 8w3d and I am always so hungry. I just had my first appt and I gained almost 15lbs since getting pregnant. Now I’m worried that I’m over eating. I have not really experienced nausea, I haven’t vomitted once which I am very grateful. But I’m having severe hunger pains. I had a late dinner around 9/10 pm and it is currently 4 am and I feel so hungry. When I get up for work if I don’t eat by 9 the urge to eat is so demanding. I just need a little direction of eating meals but not over eating and gaining a bunch of unnecessary weight especially this early on. Also food cravings have not been outrageous. I just want a lot of chicken tenders, pizza, and cereal.