u/Plane-Exam2590

I'm a college going girl, second semester recently completed. For one subject, my mother helps me. Continuations will be included the coming 3 semesters as well. Studying was okay. But the day before the exam, she sat me down for a revision. Every time she asked me a question or told me to do something, anxiety would rise up inside me. My mind eventually kind of went blank and she had to repeat a question thrice before I registered it, and then it took me a couple more minutes to start working on it. By the end of it, I was resisting the urge to cry, anxiety clouding muy mind, shaking and basically craving pain. Drinking coffee helped a little, but not much. I don't want my head getting this bad every time she calls me to study. Regressing badly, too - which my parents hate. So there was that.

I've thought about telling her that I don't want her assistance, but that would be responded to with 'Why?', Me: 'You teaching me brings back bad memories that I don't even clearly remember, but my subconscious apparently hasn't forgotten.', Her: 'Why do you feel like this? We're not abusing you or anything, are we?'

Been there, done that. I'm half telling myself I should just suck it up and get the fuck over it.

I did need the help, though.

I'm a college going girl, second semester recently completed. For one subject, my mother helps me. Continuations will be included the coming 3 semesters as well. Studying was okay. But the day before the exam, she sat me down for a revision. Every time she asked me a question or told me to do something, anxiety would rise up inside me. My mind eventually kind of went blank and she had to repeat a question thrice before I registered it, and then it took me a couple more minutes to start working on it. By the end of it, I was resisting the urge to cry, anxiety clouding muy mind, shaking and basically craving pain. Drinking coffee helped a little, but not much. I don't want my head getting this bad every time she calls me to study. Regressing badly, too - which my parents hate. So there was that.

I've thought about telling her that I don't want her assistance, but that would be responded to with 'Why?', Me: 'You teaching me brings back bad memories that I don't even clearly remember, but my subconscious apparently hasn't forgotten.', Her: 'Why do you feel like this? We're not abusing you or anything, are we?'

Been there, done that. I'm half telling myself I should just suck it up and get the fuck over it.

I'm a college going girl, second semester recently completed. For one subject, my mother helps me. Continuations will be included the coming 3 semesters as well. Studying was okay. But the day before the exam, she sat me down for a revision. Every time she asked me a question or told me to do something, anxiety would rise up inside me. My mind eventually kind of went blank and she had to repeat a question thrice before I registered it, and then it took me a couple more minutes to start working on it. By the end of it, I was resisting the urge to cry, anxiety clouding muy mind, shaking and basically craving pain. Drinking coffee helped a little, but not much. I don't want my head getting this bad every time she calls me to study. Regressing badly, too - which my parents hate. So there was that.

I've thought about telling her that I don't want her assistance, but that would be responded to with 'Why?', Me: 'You teaching me brings back bad memories that I don't even clearly remember, but my subconscious apparently hasn't forgotten.', Her: 'Why do you feel like this? We're not abusing you or anything, are we?'

Been there, done that. I'm half telling myself I should just suck it up and get the fuck over it.

My trigger was my feeling pointless because I don't have the faintest idea what I'm doing with my life, what the future holds for me. Resisting urges made me have another one. I was thinking today and realized that I'm not sure of anything in my future except self harm. I don't see myself without it, ever. That made me feel a little... I don't know. Normal people aren't like this. Self infliction shouldn't be the only thing I'm sure of. The thought scares me a little.

My trigger was my feeling pointless because I don't have the faintest idea what I'm doing with my life, what the future holds for me. Resisting urges made me have another one. I was thinking today and realized that I'm not sure of anything in my future except self harm. I don't see myself without it, ever. That made me feel a little... I don't know. Normal people aren't like this. Self infliction shouldn't be the only thing I'm sure of. The thought scares me a little.