u/Plenty-Explanation86

This is gonna be a long one...

So my former best friend is telling everyone I am insecure. Maybe I am, but if you saw the way she looked at my husband, you would understand why I no longer want her in my life. You can call me Ann, I am 33, and I have been married for 8 months.

My former best friend Faith and I were friends for almost 10 years. Real best friends. We spoke every day, knew each other's secrets, traveled together, spent holidays together. People joked we were sisters. Looking back, maybe we were too similar, especially when it came to men. Neither of us had a good dating history.

In my late 20s, I started dating a married man. I am not proud of it. He told me his marriage was over, that he and his wife only stayed together for the kids. Faith knew everything, and instead of discouraging me, she encouraged it: "Enjoy your life! If he wasn't happy at home, he wouldn't be chasing you." That was how we thought back then.

The difference was that my situation got serious. After almost 3 years, he actually left his wife. It took time, there was drama, his family was angry, my family was embarrassed, his ex-wife hated me and I don't blame her. Eventually we got married. I know people judge how my marriage began. That's their right; I can't change the past. What I can do is build a good future.

The problem started after the wedding. Faith was still living the same lifestyle, still dating married men, and men with girlfriends, still calling herself a "soft life queen." At first I didn't care. Then she started making comments about my husband.

One evening at dinner, she laughed and said, "You know, if I had met your husband first, things might have turned out differently." Everyone laughed. I laughed too, but something about it bothered me. A few weeks later she visited our house. My husband walked in from work, and I noticed her staring, not casually, really staring. She smiled and said, "Marriage looks good on you." Once he left the room, she turned to me and laughed, "Your husband is looking finer these days." I forced a smile, but inside I felt uncomfortable.

After that, I started paying closer attention. I knew Faith. I knew how she behaved when she liked a man, the laugh, the touch on the arm, the prolonged eye contact. Little by little, I started noticing those same patterns around my husband.

Then came the comment that pushed me over the edge. We met for dinner, just the two of us. She was telling me about a new man she was seeing,married, again. I said, "Faith, when are you going to stop doing this?" She rolled her eyes. "Here we go." I said, "I am serious. You know how these things end." She laughed, "Not everybody gets lucky like you." I frowned. "What is that supposed to mean?" She said, "You dated a married man, and you married him. So why are you acting holier than thou?"

I stayed calm. Then she said something I have never forgotten: "If your husband met me first, you probably wouldn't be a Mrs. today." For a moment I thought she was joking. Then I looked at her face. she wasn't laughing anymore. Something cold settled in my stomach. "What exactly are you trying to say?" She shrugged. "Nothing." But I knew. For the first time since we became friends, I knew exactly why I felt uncomfortable, and I knew I didn't want this woman anywhere near my marriage anymore.

After that dinner, I stopped calling her. For the first time in almost 10 years, I started living my life without her. A few weeks later she called, over and over, until I finally answered. "So, we are doing this now?" she said. "I don't trust you around my husband," I told her. Long silence. Then she burst out laughing. "You can't be serious!"

She got angry. "So that is what this is about? You are jealous of me!" I said, "I am not jealous." "Then what are you?" "Careful." That offended her more. Then she hit me where it hurt: "You know what your problem is? You are insecure. You stole somebody's husband. You spent years helping him cheat, then he left his wife and married you. Now suddenly you are afraid another woman will do the same thing to you. That is guilt, Ann, not intuition."

For a second I actually questioned myself. Maybe part of me was afraid because I knew exactly how my marriage had started. But then I remembered who Faith was, every married man she'd dated, every warning she ignored. Even if she wasn't actively trying to take my husband, she still wasn't the kind of person I wanted around my marriage anymore.

I finally said, "Maybe I am insecure. But if protecting my marriage makes me insecure, I am okay with that." She snapped, "No, you've changed." I said, "Exactly. I have. I wish you well, but I don't want this friendship anymore." She went quiet, no comeback, and hung up.

That was 6 months ago.i don't want to say I'm the perfect one here.. We haven't spoken since. I've heard she's telling people I cut her off because I'm insecure. Maybe she's innocent, maybe I overreacted, or maybe I saw enough to know where to draw the line. What I do know is that I sleep peacefully now.

I'm 33F and have been married for 8 months. My former best friend, Faith, and I were best friends for almost 10 years. We did everything together, knew each other's secrets, and honestly had very similar dating histories.

In my late 20s, I dated a married man. I'm not proud of it. He told me his marriage was over, eventually divorced his wife, and after years of drama, we got married. I know people judge how our relationship started, and I understand why. I can't change the past, only try to be a better person now.

Faith, on the other hand, never changed. She still proudly dated married men and men with girlfriends, calling it her "soft life." I didn't judge her because she's an adult and can make her own choices.

The problem started after my wedding.

She began making comments about my husband that made me uncomfortable. She'd say things like, "Marriage looks good on him," or "Your husband is looking really handsome these days." At first, I brushed it off.

Then, during a get-together at our house, I came back from the kitchen and found her sitting beside my husband, laughing with him. Nothing inappropriate happened, but the conversation changed as soon as I walked over. It stuck with me.

The more I thought about it, the more I noticed the same behavior she'd always shown when she liked a man long eye contact, compliments, and taking a sudden interest in him.

The final straw came during dinner. We were talking about another married man she was seeing when I told her she deserved better than unavailable men. She laughed and said, "Not everyone gets lucky like you."

Then she added, "If I had met your husband first, you probably wouldn't be Mrs. ___ today."

She wasn't smiling when she said it.

After that, I slowly distanced myself. Eventually, she called and asked why I was avoiding her. I told her the truth: I didn't trust her around my husband.

She laughed and called me insecure. Then she said the real reason I didn't trust her was because I'd helped my husband cheat on his ex-wife, so now I was scared another woman would do the same to me.

I'll admit that comment made me stop and think. Maybe my past does make me more cautious. But I also know Faith. I've watched her chase unavailable men for years, and whether she wanted my husband or not, I no longer felt comfortable having someone with those boundaries so close to my marriage.

I told her we'd both changed, wished her well, and ended the friendship.

That was six months ago. Since then, she's been telling people I cut her off because I'm insecure.

Maybe she's right. Maybe I overreacted. Or maybe I simply decided to protect my marriage and my peace.

Hey guys I'm looking to relocate from Kakamega to eldoret, what is the best residency with cheaper housing, like from 3000 to 3500