u/Plenty_Alfalfa8826

In my (30f) entire life I've only had one positive experience at a salon, and that stylist seems to have quit. Everyone else, all these white ladies with thin, straight hair, rip my hair out the entire time, refusing to listen to me when I tell them how it needs to be brushed, even as I'm at the verge of tears. So, I've gone years just cutting it myself, but last year I found an amazing stylist and was shocked at what a difference a professional cut by someone who listens and understands thick, clumpy(? Like spider webs how it sticks together) hair can make. I'd never felt so confident about my appearance in my life. Sadly, she put a notice on her Instagram that she would be out until further notice, and didn't respond to my message. Would I be a total fool and make the stylists feel disrespected if I went to a salon that I found nearby that, based on the Instagram page, seems to be just for black women? My hair is definitely not like a POC's. I have had it described as thick, difficult Irish hair, but I know how cringey and inaccurate it is when wp compare Irish struggles to black people's. Anyways, rambling. Any alternative suggestions? I don't want to invade anyone's safe space. Should I just keep looking? That stylist I loved wasn't black, but Latina.

Someone asked in a birth control sub if they should use condoms if they're on the pill already.

I commented "You are more likely to get pregnant if you don't use a condom even if you're on the pill."

It was removed by a mod and stated:

"Your post was removed due to violating rule 2, which encourages users to be welcoming towards those who may not have as much knowledge about birth control, who use different methods from what you use, or who have a different level of comfort with pregnancy."

I may be on the spectrum..? I don't understand what I did wrong. How could I have put it in an acceptable way?

I have to house-sit for my parents sometimes, and they pay me to stay overnight. I've told my boyfriend of almost 10 years several times that I feel unsafe sleeping there all alone (their house is a bit ridiculously lavish) and wish he would join me, but he doesn't. He tried once and said it was "just uncomfortable," but he still fell asleep before me and seemed to sleep like a log... My parents house is only 5 miles away and we both have cars. He also leaves our windows open at night, and wont go to my mom and I's annual hiking trip anymore since he saw bear poo on the trail once. But I do understand that much better than the other 2... I guess I'm asking... how unreasonable am I in feeling disappointed and turned off that he doesn't seem to take interest in protecting me? I've told him that for our romantic and sexual life, feeling like he is the protector is very important to me, but instead I feel like our safety is all on me, and our bedroom is dying... It's strange because he is machismo, talks about being able to fight and protect me/my honor crap, and hates that we've gone to screwing 3-6 times a week in year 1, to just every other month now at 10. (I also just don't understand being more afraid of a black bear than home invasions, but maybe that's because I place too much importance on statistics?) What can I say to him, or do to accept this? I know many people live alone, hike alone, leave windows open. I'm not interested in that life and he knows I never have been. I have a pewpew and a sw¡tchblade but it's not the same. Thank you for your time and patience. I feel silly writing this at my age.

TLDR: I ask my long-term partner to stay the night when I house-sit so I can feel safer. He's not interested, and does other small things to make me feel like he doesn't care about my feeling of safety. What do/How cope?