u/Plus-Turnover7701

Its over. He verbally was abusive and I am finally single.

I am just sick and tired of the verbal abuse I experien e. Fights have been happening every Friday and he brings out the worst in me. Earlier I shared that my partner (male 51) and I (35 female) have been in a relationship for 9 months but it got serious real fast. I met him while I was undergoing a double mastectomy and fighting breast cancer. I did not have family support and felt very vulnerable. He is rich (despite dropping out of 8th grade) and works for a major banking firm while me with my masters degree, I can barely break out of 50k. I am so envious that a man who is so emotionally volatile, so heavy on using chatgpt to prove his points during an argument and rationalized how his blurred behaviors with his BM earlier on us dating was my "jealousy and insecurity."

Then, we began living together and regretfully I feel like this is my last chance saloon as I do not have breasts and no man would want a serious relationship with an atheist female who is a feminist and does not have boobs. So I settled in this relationship and regret it.

He also gave me HPV and I knowingly slept with him in the beginning when he shared his dx. He also slept with over 50 women in his 20s which it is bothering me.

He has gaslit me that he and his BM having shared embryos is the same as dating a man with kids and that if she decided to use them, he would just treat the kid as a distant relative.

He has also gaslit me that anytime I bring up issues, I am being "difficult," and he would yell and use expletives to show his verbal aggression.

I asked for couples therapy but he does not want to go there because he does not think he is at a flaw or has issues but I do. He even said "this is how I talk and I cannot be in a relationship with someone where I cant speak how I want to."

I am not asking to break up right now because admittedly I am logistically stuck in a situation I cannot leave. However, I have a cohabitation ahreement in place and should he try to kick me out, he would have to go through the court.

I am so over it.

Her name was Stacey. Let's just say Stacey and I were really close buddies - since elementary school. Stacey and I bonded on many things. We both enjoyed , make up, Lisa Frank, Pollie Pocket, 90s Nickelodeon... like most girls did at rhe time.

In one of our summer evenings, after school and gymnastics practice, we both sat down at the Veranda of my house. Stacey and I were sharing about our recent episodes of All That when, out of the blue, she shared something that definitely caught me off guard.

It was one of her dreams that she had recently, where she was lost in the middle of the forest. One of her biggest fears is getting lost in the wilderness, and the dream itself felt so palpable... so real.

" I really felt like I was there," she added, brushing her wild red locks out of her face as we doodled, " Like if I really wanted to pinch myself, I could... but I was afraid to. I was afraid because I thought it meant it would be real..."

I looked at her, a little confused but this piqued my interest " So what else happened?"

She went on to share that in the middle of the forest, she saw a lake and approached the still waters. She could see through the water, in spite of it being night time, and saw a thicket of leaves and vines covering what looked like the outline of a body. As she gazed closely, the body began to rise from the water, revealing a woman wearing a drenched chiffon dress, her face completely bloated, the strands of her hair wrapped around her neck.

Stacey paused, looked up at me and said " Tori, that woman looked real..."

For days, if not weeks after, Stacey began having the same dream, playing itself in different scenarios. She said she would see this woman in her dreams when she was at the beach. Or at the playground. She would often see her near bodies of water, even when she was awake. For a while, her parents pulled Stacey away from me, thinking I was a bad influence. She was in the school psychologist's office pretty often for therapy sessions.

For a while Stacey and I did not hang out or speak until years later, when we were in high school.

At that point, I felt Stacey grew to be super pretty and glammed up. She became the golden doodle to my black cat personality type. She was already reading Elizabethan writings in the 4th grade and had this zeal for life so it did not surprise me that in high school, she was getting straight As, becoming the president of the Key Club and scoring a jock boyfriend. I was very awkward, always gaudy looking and wore the same pairs of chucks for years and weathered jeans with black tops. She had strawberry blonde hair and gorgeous blue eyes that went down to her mid back.

Despite our stark differences in our teen years, we reconnected again and our friendship was stronger than ever. We talked about our plans for college and the majors we wanted to do.

There was a moment, that I really wanted to bring up how ... or why we stopped talking , but I felt like it would take away the good things that were happening in our friendship.

I also, secretly realized I totally wanted more than friendship with her. So I thought of making that move.

We were out in the beach. Stacey began to share her dreams of becoming a marine biologist. I could see the sparkle in her eyes as she shared her aspirations. In a moment's notice, I wrapped my arm around her waist. She returned with a stronger embrace and pressed her lips against mine. It was a beautiful moment that I still replay to this time.

But it sadly did not last that long.

One weekend, while I was working at a pizza parlor after school, I got a text from my mom " Tori, please call me!!! Its about Stacey." I had one of those Motorolla bare bones phones, so I did not want to pause food prep to respond back to her. I did, however, catch a glimpse of the local TV News station: Girl, 16, drowned in Lake off of I 13 Bridge.

And immediately, the picture showed my dearest friend, Stacey.

I was devastated. At a loss. Couldn't imagine that my best friend would have such a tragic death.... and that all this time, her dreams were basically of her death in the future.

I, admittedly, suppressed these memories of her because I couldn't bear the pain of losing my first love. Until recently.

Now, I am 35, a mother of 2 boys and an estate planner. My husband is out as a lineman, working for a contract in Michigan. I still have dreams of Stacey, and the times we were together. And in those dreams, I wake up with water droplets in my face.

Sometimes I wonder, if she still is here with me.

Love you Stacey... Always.

Hey guys, just started lurking this sub for a while. I am 35f with my guy 51m and both fell in love because of our medical histories. He experienced a liver transplant and I experienced a history of breast cancer. We had a shaky entry into our relationship because he made it clear he would be best friends with his ex wife because she helped him and cared for him inspite of their dead bedroom for years.

Yet in the beginning, they were too close to comfort. Now I would sound like a hypocrite about being friends with exes because I am also friends with mine, but he and I do not have that level of closeness that my partner and BM have.

BM is aware of me. My man made it clear on social media that he and I are together and now that he and I took a break before re-uniting, anytime she contacts him, he makes it very clear that they are only having conversations for the sake of the 2 kids (9f and 3m).

However, I sometimes feel like had our health histories not brought us together, that I wonder if I was just a consolation prize? She is the total opposite of me - blonde, Christian, high earner, comes from a rich farmer family, has a bunch of family, is a workaholic and has those "eat, pray love" decorators when they were together for almost 18 years. I am the polar opposite - an atheist, feminist, brown woman, with a history of family trauma, works in social work as a case worker at a non-profit barely making enough, in student loan debt, and a history of health issues and now, no chest due to the double mastectomy. I wonder if I met him and I was the same age as him and her back in 2006, would he ever choose me to attempt to build a life with and have children with?

Gosh, I am not proud of thinking these thoughts but the insecurity is something I am working on with my therapist. Just wanted to know if I am not alone on this and if anybody has coped with it and how.

Edit: So I get downvoted for expressing normal human emotions? Got it. I am so sick of reddit. This is the second time I have felt excluded on a step parent subthread. I am out here seeking support, not drama! For those who dont feel this way, good for you but I know many of us have created this subreddit because of the drama associated with being a step mom.

Just frustrated that I see every other post where a step parent shares their frustrations- many of these posts being of young, childless women involved in relationships with men who have children- their seems to be "0 votes." Are their trolls out there? Or bio moms being insecure? What is this pattern?

Hello - 35 female. Battled stage 2 breast cancer. Had the mastectomy, chemo, and radiation and now on a medicine for the next 5 years to stop estrogen from feeding into my cancer. Prior to this, I was raised in an abusive household and was a minority in a certain part of the country. As a result, I am attracted to men who demographically would not choose to have a serious or committed relationship with me.

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I tried all the adult markers of success - i went through college then grad school to be marketable. I have not found a job that earns a livable wage and I have amassed a six figure debt due to rising interest rates and I had no support from family nor did I get pell grants. I had a scholarship that barely paid anything.

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I tried to find a partner to build a shared life with but my fear of abandonment and insecurity as well as jealousy just pushed them away. Plus I thought I had chosen right until months if not years later they reveal some highly incompatible traits. Ome cheated on me, gambled and had a severe sex addiction. Another lied that he has single when he was married. Another was a decent guy that I thought we would have lasted but my pain from my past and his needs to stall a wedding date after our engagement led me to sabotage the relationship by pushing an ultimatum. We broke up.

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Then in August 2025 I got diagnosed with this cancer. I met M and we dated for a few months. During that time, my abusive parents revealed more of their abusive behavior and wanted to control my medical decisions. My younger brother - the golden child and the millionaire- said he couldnt have me get treatment in his house because he didnt want the drama of navigating his job and helping his sister out for rides. He was overwhelmed and chose his comfort.

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My sister lives in Delaware and also got diagnosed with breast cancer but she has her loving and supportive husband and in laws. I secretly envy that she and I both diagnosed have parallel opposite paths - she had her partner change her dressings, remind her she was beautiful, married her within a few months of dating and prioritized her.

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Meanwhile M as much as he did help me with appointments and have me stay at his house at the very early stages of us dating, he also teased me, name called me and deflected and argued whenever I asked him to stop vaping inside the house, using chatgpt to argue himself and make a point. M also prioritized B, his ex wife of 15years. They shared no children but dogs. Yet he is a crazy dog person who treats them like they are human children and she helps pay 50% of their stuff.

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At first, M was honest that he did see a future and wanted to date to commit. He also was honest that him and B are best friends and that she will always be a part of his life. At first I was okay with it... until I was not. I started to feel insecure and compared myself to her - how she was in bed, how she was polar opposite - rich farmers daughter, blonde, who works at a top banking firm and pulls six figures. He would talk about her every other sentence. I even met his family and they would ask whether I do the same things as B.

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Then, he exploded and broke up with me on January 8th because I was not okay with B staying over at his house for the buffalo bills game. I felt so small and insignificant while he was willing to go to the game with her and have a shared memory while I was undergoing chemo.

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He then reconnects with me again and I allowed him because I did not want to be alone after what cancer has done to me. I was online and I revealed that I am flat from cancer and my fertility is impacted and many men would not want to date a "sick, overweight woman." Event hough i was athletic, ate healthy and managed my stress as much as possible precancer.

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Pre- cancer me: I weighed 135 lbs, 5'8", long wavy black hair and a slender slim waist with feminine curves and functioning fertility.

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Post cancer - no chest, fertility hit by chemo, couldnt afford to freeze eggs, 177 lbs, and depressed from my current relationship.

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J feel like I am damaged goods and wont find anybody to build a life with.

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Needing a space to commiserate. This Tamoxifen is making me lose any pleasure- i feel flat. Also, I am going through other issues outside of cancer: Loss of friends, loss of physical strength, weight gain, fertility uncertainty, loss of desirability. As I wrote earlier, my non profit job barely makes enough for me to pay off my medical debts. My partner whom I have dated for a grand total of 6 months ( I am 35 and he is 51) has a nasty habit of raising his voice and getting defensive whenever I need a space to vent.

I do go to therapy groups but lately I have stopped because I am tired of being reminded of my cancer. I do have two therapists and we work on emotional regulation skills.

I don't feel happy and the Tamoxifen is highlighting the communication issues and my lower tolerance for his need to fix, defend and deflect. He likes to have the last word and wants to place himself as a morally superior person when he has gotten away with a lot of shit in his life.

I finally was sick and tired of him sending me walls of texts and the past 3 weekends, I have sucked it up several times putting up with his needs - the cooking, doing chores around his house and playing the role of a wife while he is not really acting like he is serious.

Now before you tell me- please dont advise breaking up. I just need validation right now and I am emotional. We have not spoken all day today because I told him to stop arguing with me on text and when he wants to talk over the phone, then yeah.

Currently live in FL. Just finished active treatment- chemo, rads, mastectomy etc. Then realized my non profit job is heading for a lay off after receiving a suspicious email.

So now I am freaking out- I have zero family support (parents are abusive) the friends I had when I was initially diagnosed were gone and I am doing this all alone during a scrappy job market.

I have non profit experience but I am sick and tired of being undervalued and underpaid. I am building data analysis skills but I dont have many connections.

I am stressed and they say stress causes recurrence. My insurance premiums are in the middle 300s. I only have a month and a half left with this contract, if they even give me an opportunity to pay up until then, before i have zero paychecks. My partner lives 90 minutes away and I am old school so I dont want to cohabit or rely on him.

But im coming to this point now where I am vulnerable. He and I have a tense and dicey history and we are slowly rebuilding that but we have had crises after crises within 5 months of us dating.

Need any support!

Rant over

It feels foreign. It feels off. It goes completely against the grain but here it goes...

I love me.

I love my short black wavy pixie cut.

I love my smile.

I love my deep, dark almost onyx eyes and the remaining lashes I see.

I love my adorable facial cheeks.

I love my dorky voice which weirdly is sexy.

I love my sensitivity.

I love all of my emotions - happiness, sadness, pity party, intelligence, grace, jealousy, envy, anger, joyfulness, peacefulness etc

I love myself weird sense of humor

I love what I know and what I have yet to explore

I love my sensuality

I love my body even if it betrayed me with cancer - its mine and it has its own story and healing

I love my arms,

I loved my late boobs

I love my belly and it's curves

I love my skin tone

I love my lady bits and I still pleasure myself and get pleasured

I love my thighs and ass cheeks

I love my legs

I love how hard my body fought

I love the way my mind thinks and feels although it needs continuous emotional regulation and management at times during spirals

I am proud of how far I have achieved even if it doesn't appear successful in the eyes of society

I love me

Even if my body doesn't truly feel it... I am going to force myself to say it that I love me ... because I am tired of being reminded I am not.

Anyone else wanna join?