I’m really stumped right now . I just got confirmation of shipment on a $300 ring I apparently ordered this morning and I have no idea how that happened . Even the order time doesn’t make sense , I was busy with a contractor at my house when the purchase went through . Has this ever happened to anyone else ? I feel so foolish and also super confused
Update : So from what I can gather I made an offer for 10% less than the list price, I’m assuming there must be a button for that ?. Because it was an offer I made I can’t find out the time I made it, only when it got accepted . Can you actually offer on something with only one button click ? Also, the card I have on file is actually a card that was cancelled due to fraud (fraud elsewhere ) so I’m not sure how the transaction went though but it’s showing up on my cc statement . I know that there was nothing done wrong on the sellers side and I would feel guilty if I returned it or did anything that couldn’t negatively affect the seller .
I’m really stumped right now . I just got confirmation of shipment on a $300 ring I apparently ordered this morning and I have no idea how that happened . Even the order time doesn’t make sense , I was busy with a contractor at my house when the purchase went through . Has this ever happened to anyone else ? I feel so foolish and also super confused
I suffered significant childhood trauma and , like many of us , I survived by being partially detached from self and heaving masking . I developed chronic illness in 2021 and since then I crashed and finally discovered that I had been living that way . So since 2021 I have been doing trauma work and every bit of progress I make I seem to “embody” more . This has been terrifying, excruciating , overwhelming , amazing and I am constantly astounded at the ways in which my body opted to protect itself . I am a completely different person than I was a few years ago and I’m now realizing how incredibly sensitive I actually am.
Currently I can’t even watch a dramatic tv show without feeling the emotion of the situation . When I see loved ones getting hurt (example , my son banging his knee) I feel it as a shock in my body , almost like a synesthesia. Of course , I’m also getting to reconnect with the experiences of deep love and connection (which is scary in its own way) so I wouldn’t change what’s happening , even though I’m finding it hard . I question my mood swings and most of my emotions because I don’t know if they’re “normal” , having been so detached for over 40 years . As well, there are times where I find these deep emotions almost too uncomfortable to actually experience . I’m now also extremely sensitive to sounds and bright lights . My sense of smell and taste is stronger than ever and I have extreme aversions to chemicals , certain foods and clothing etc .
I guess what I’m wondering is if anyone else has gone through similar, and if so do you have any tips on how to manage extreme sensitivity . Also , does it get better ? I’m hoping it will soften a bit over time .
I’m wondering if this is a cptsd thing or a neurodivergent thing. I have always had great interest in the human condition and trying to understand how others think and act , I’m sure much of this has to do with my early masking behaviors and needing to understand how others act in order to “fit in”.
Do you find that you absolutely love reading memories and autobiographies about people , especially ones that have to do with people that have gone through a lot in their life ? When I read them I feel a camaraderie and I actually feel “seen” and understood. Is it odd to feel better when you know others have gone through similar hardships as yourself ?
As many of us do, I have chronic illness and a host of medical and mental health issues due to extreme childhood trauma , (MY ACE score is 10). I lived in survival mode until my early 40’s, building a “successful based on society’s standards “ life and then crashed and became physically ill. Once ill all of my trauma symptoms came to the surface . What I can’t believe is how I now get treated by the medical community , constantly being told things are “just anxiety” or that I need to just learn to destress and relax . Everything is minimized and so many of my chronic illness symptoms are being labeled as “hysterical woman “ stuff.
The truth is that those of us that made it this far in our lives are some of the strongest people out there. The fact that our bodies and minds were intelligent enough to create ways to adapt and endure is actually an example of how intelligent and strong we are . Yes, we are now suffering the repercussions of our needed adaptations but we are freaking warriors , most of those drs would never be able to handle and endure what we have in our lives . I’ve decided that Im no longer going to take it , no longer going to accept this treatment . The next time a dr minimizes my experience I’m going to look them right in the eyes and ask them what they think their body would do if they had lived through multiples rapes , extreme physical and mental abuse and torture . I’m going to point blank ask them what they think would have happened to me if I hadn’t adapted in ways that are now causing these issues mid life. The answer is that I wouldn’t be alive today. I believe it’s time for us to flip the script on those who gaslight us , to let them know that we are the tough ones , the survivors. Call them on it and actually ask them how healthy they think they would be had they experienced the same in their life.
For all of you that are suffering , please know that your body was so smart and wise to do what it did in order to survive . We may have many “broken “ parts but we are the strong ones , we are also the ones that have depth and empathy for others , in a world that seems to be lacking it so very much .
I don’t know if this is a rant or just a way to remind you all of how amazing you truly are but I’d ask you all to just take a moment to reflect on how intelligent and strong your body actually is . You survived . That is what warriors do . I honestly believe that if we can continue to remind ourselves of this we can take back some of the power that has been stripped from us . Then we can remind those that gaslight us that they have no idea what it is to endure, that they should be looking at us with reverence for our abilities and that the health outcomes we now have are battles scars , meant to be be treated with respect .
We are the scar clan, forever bound together by our similar wounds ✨ Much love to you all my fellow warriors