For me, it’s:

* the Russian 6000 rupees joke

* joking about scenes that objectify women in movies, or joking about red light areas and sex workers

* calling a slightly older woman “aunty,” even as a joke

(I know it’s a Gen Z thing to call someone “unc” as a joke, but unfortunately this feels different to me because I’ve noticed they specifically want to pull women down because of their age, as if being an older woman is somehow an insult.)

* joking about the type of clothes a woman wears and judging her character because of it.

* Any joke that is about people‘s suffering or directed against an oppressed group.

Ladies, please drop your list.

Hello all, I’m F23, and lately I’ve been having uncomfortable thoughts around marriage. First of all, my family is very loving.

I’ve never been thought of in a transactional light, and no one forces me to marry, let alone get married by a certain age. I personally don’t want to marry before 30.

But I’m not sure why I hate the feeling around it. Even if I marry someone I love, and he and his family are liberal, the feeling that society starts seeing me as a married woman rather than as the person I am bothers me.

Even now, if my mother has relatives calling her, no matter how liberal, sophisticated, or educated they seem, they ask her to give the phone to her husband or my father before they properly talk to her

It’s such minor things, that imply a woman’s individual identity blurs once she becomes a married woman, and that she has no life outside of it. That is what worries me.

What can I do to help overcome this feeling?

So, I have multiple Reddit accounts, and almost all my posts and comments stay hidden. I’m clearly not a great writer like the people who used to make platforms like Quora so engaging before Reddit became the go-to place for many of us.

What confuses me is that I keep getting followed by random guys (almost always men), even though I barely add much value or engage frequently in comments. I don’t even know these people, so I genuinely wonder why they follow me.

Apparently, followers get notifications whenever I post or comment, and that creeps me out a little.

And while I’ve turned off the option for people to follow me here, I still wonder why we as women are the ones who constantly have to accommodate by turning off DMs, hiding follower lists, limiting interactions, just to feel safe from creeps online. It’s like we can’t even exist peacefully on the internet sometimes. :’)

Today I came across a Reddit sub that feels more like a matrimony platform at this point. A young woman made a post saying she preferred a minimalistic life and would ideally like to live in a village someday.

She didn’t even mention unrealistic salary expectations, career demands, or anything materialistic. The only thing she openly mentioned was that she had a male best friend.

A lot of men were praising her simplicity at first, but then came the comments: “Eww, she has a male best friend?” and “Why doesn’t she just marry him instead?” I saw at least three or four people shaming her simply for being honest about her friendship with a guy.

What stood out even more was that she had clearly mentioned there were boundaries and nothing inappropriate between them.

Still, people acted as if a woman having a healthy friendship with a man automatically makes her unsuitable for marriage.

It’s completely okay if someone personally prefers a partner who doesn’t have close friends of the opposite gender. Preferences are valid.

But why be disrespectful about it? Why shame someone for simply existing differently from your expectations? If you’re not interested, you can just scroll past. That girl won’t force you to marry her.

At this point, I genuinely wonder: is it the friendship that’s “corrupted,” or is it the mindset of these men who cannot get a decent person interested to be with them despite the sky high salary and educational qualifications?

Women, what do you personally look for when deciding whether a guy is trustworthy, either as a friend or romantically?

Are there certain red flags that instantly make you distance yourself? And what are some green flags that slowly build trust for you over time?

Also curious whether you trust your gut immediately or prefer to wait and observe patterns first.

I’m not talking about mocking or degrading anyone’s appearance. I mean simply saying what you personally are or aren’t attracted to.

I feel like the society is unnecessarily harsh on women for having preferences.

What did you say, and how did people react?

When getting to know a new man, whether as a friend, coworker, acquaintance, or potential date, what helps you judge early if he’s safe? What signs do you trust, and what makes you distance yourself?

I’m pretty socially anxious and kind of sheltered, so I’m trying to understand this better from real experiences, when it comes to dating or getting to know a new guy,

I’d really appreciate if you could share your experiences, and any dos and don’ts or tips you’ve learned to stay safe and avoid getting into bad situations 🙏🏼

Have you ever really liked a guy at first, but then he said or did something that completely turned you off instantly?

What was it, and did you end things right after or try to ignore it at first?

Curious to hear your stories.

Hii all, I turned 23 recently and something has been bothering me for a while now.

A few guys on Reddit ( who idk personally ) have casually called me “aunty” as a joke. This has happened more than once because my age is visible in my flair.

They weren’t even the same people, and it never happened because of an argument or fight. They’d just come across my comments since I’m fairly active there and say things like,

“How are you, aunty? I keep seeing you everywhere,” or something along those lines. At the time, they were mostly around 20 while I was 22.

Now, if it had just been a harmless word, I honestly wouldn’t have cared. Initially, I even responded warmly and laughed it off.

But afterward, something about it didn’t sit right with me, and I realized it was specifically the “aunty” part that bothered me.

And to be clear, I have absolutely no issue with the word itself in the normal sense. If a little kid, like under 5 or so, called me aunty, I’d gladly be their aunty and wouldn’t think twice about it.

What makes it upsetting is that it feels unnecessarily age-focused and a bit ageist. I don’t really see women calling a 2 year older guy “uncle” in the same casual, mocking way.

The term “aunty” directed at women feels loaded, like it’s meant to make you feel older, less youthful, or somehow past your prime, even when you’re literally still in your early 20s.

Maybe some people will say it’s harmless or that I’m overreacting, but hearing it repeatedly from people around my own age feels uncomfortable.

Am I wrong for feeling this way? :’)

What are some behaviours or comments from any man (friend, acquaintance, date, boyfriend, etc.) that instantly make you uncomfortable?

For me, it’s stuff like a normal casual chat suddenly getting turned sexual within a few messages, or guys quickly asking about my boyfriend, love life, or pushing for my Instagram or pictures even when we barely know each other. That just makes me block them within no time.

Another one is when I mention I have male friends who are like my siblings and they straight away assume something romantic is going on between us, and even after I say no, they don’t really drop it. ☠️

So, what are those small things (subtle or obvious) that immediately make you think “nah, I’m done talking to this person”?

Curious to hear your thoughts.

Hello everyone! I'm sorry if this sounds like a naive question, please bear with me as someone who has never dated before.

I am someone who wants to marry a guy of my liking someday and dowry isn't prevalent in my community at all, and it's not very common in my place either (I'm from a Tier 1 city in Karnataka ). But cases keep popping up even here every now and then, and it genuinely scares me.

You'd think it only happens in very conservative families from small towns but the reality is it exists in modern, educated, urban families too.

Women who are working and financially independent are still losing their lives to dowry harassment, leaving behind young children. It's heartbreaking and terrifying.

So my question is, before you even meet the guy's family, are there any subtle signs from the man you're dating that might indicate he's the kind to seek dowry, or that he was raised in a household where that mindset exists?

Have any of you noticed red flags in your previous relationships that, in hindsight, pointed to this? Would really appreciate if you could shed some light. 🙏

Hey everyone! I've been lurking here for a while and finally decided to post, this community feels like the right place for it, given the thoughtful and genuine responses people tend to give here, even when threads don't blow up with comments.

I'm from a tier 1 city, in my early twenties now ( almost done with college ) and trying to be more intentional about building real friendships outside of the obvious college and work pipelines. Curious to hear from those of you who've actually figured this out,

What activities or social contexts genuinely helped you form quality friendships as an adult?

I’ve realized a lot of people can fake being kind/empathetic when they want something from you, but eventually the mask slips.

I’m just trying to speed that process up.
I’m not great at reading people early

(sheltered upbringing + social anxiety), and the usual advice like “watch how they treat service staff” feels outdated, people know they’re being judged there.

So what are some low-key ways to put people in situations where they reveal their actual personality faster?

Looking for subtle setups, not anything extreme, just things that make emotionally immature people expose themselves without realizing it.

I'm quite shocked, to say the least. Since I've been active on Reddit for some time now, I've encountered guys who would either engage with my comments or ask follow-up questions about posts I made. I engaged with them thinking it was normal however, I've since noticed two concerning instances.

The first was a guy my age who took note of the fact that I'm single and asked me certain questions, saying he would have loved to talk more with the intentions of dating if I lived in the same city, simply because we shared the same hobbies.

I made it clear I wasn't looking for any relationship at that point and wanted nothing from him. However, when I later saw his name pop up on another feed, it turned out he has a girlfriend, yet he had been going around claiming to be single and asking women dating questions.

In another instance, someone slid into my DMs asking a follow-up question about one of my posts. I engaged, and the conversation seemed completely innocent ie: about our hobbies, our cities, that sort of thing.

Then out of nowhere, he asked me if I'd ever dated or had a boyfriend with some flirting. I blocked him immediately, because who even asks that right away? Recently, I came across a post where this same guy called his now-ex-girlfriend "characterless." To top it off, his profile picture was a gym photo and he had been asking me those personal questions a month ago.

This genuinely scares me. People are so different online versus offline. Some men interrogate women about purity and v*rginity and for the record, I'm a v*rgin myself, not that it should matter but it's the way they frame it, with lines like "no s*al, no deal," that I find deeply hypocritical. Because these are often the very same men who are out there being unfaithful or dishonest while in relationships. They hold women to a standard they don't come close to meeting themselves.

So how are you ever supposed to know if the man you're with isn't doing the exact same thing behind your back? ( I’ve never dated before, no judgments please :) )

Hey! :) F 22 from India, I’m looking for people to talk to casually and then be friends if you’re down for it. My Reddit account is 3 years old, so even if I get busy sometimes, I’m not going anywhere!

I prefer someone from India because of the time zone, but I’m genuinely open to other cultures too! :)

I think I’d describe myself as a feminist and a girl who wants to be a girls’ girl. Also kind of a philosopher who likes talking about life and death. I’m passionate about social issues and future tech, and I’m practicing English, so I’m open to language exchange too. Teach me about your culture, and I can be a shoulder for you if you ever need someone to talk to. I’ll do my best to be there when I can.

I enjoy talking about:

True crime, science, psychology, life & relationships, eastern philosophies, non-fiction books, travel / adventures, cultures & traditions, documentaries, old movies, feminism, social issues and a lot more. ( Conversations tend to go wherever they go after all :) )

Outside of that, I’m into:

Sims 4, BitLife, escape room games, open world games, arcade games, choice-based games, stargazing, countryside travel, learning to cook, volunteering, board games, badminton, cycling, exploring my city.

A few things to note before texting:

🔹Please keep it respectful, and do not fish for personal info very early on, and I’ll do the same.

🔹I exchange photos and my social media only once we’ve talked for a few days and if there’s a genuine vibe, not when pushed for it early on.

🔹Not looking for anything romantic so please don’t message just for photos and then ghost when I don’t meet those expectations 🥹🥀

🔹There’s no pressure to keep talking if we don’t vibe, this is low stakes and casual, though I would whole heartedly appreciate a proper closure if we talked for a while :)

Lastly my apologies if this sounds like a job filtering list, :’) I did this in order to maximise my chances of finding like minded people.

So I came across this post about a 76-year-old man who was in pretty significant position of power, ( from a western country ) and was dating a 21-year-old young woman. I left a comment saying she's literally young enough to be his granddaughter and that the age gap was disgusting.

And then a 23-year-old replied defending it citing her status as a grown woman and I was stunned to say the least!

Now don't get me wrong, I'm a 22 year old woman myself, I'm all for women's empowerment, I respect people's autonomy and I'm not here to be nosy. But come on, the world is not all black and white.

Legal and moral are not the same thing. Like, an 18-year-old is legally allowed to marry whoever they want, and we already know men in their late twenties and thirties use that loophole in arranged marriages to get with teenagers. A 21-year-old isn't really that different. Just because something is legal doesn't mean we have to be okay with it or stay quiet about it.

And this isn't just an age gap situation, this man is in a position of power on top of it, which massive power dynamic. The difference in life experience, money, influence, emotional leverage, is huge. That's what makes it predatory, and we are absolutely allowed to call it out, at least on social media.

Criticising something isn't the same as controlling someone. We can respect that she legally made her own choice while still questioning whether it was actually a free and equal one.

Greetings! I’m in my early 20s, I have never dated, and I’m a virgin but I still hate the whole ‘purity’ mindset. I’m worried some guys might see that as something to prey on, so I don’t want to disclose it early. Am I right to keep that private?

When a guy asks about past relationships/ virginity /body count, what timing/context makes it normal vs a red flag? Seeking insights from feminist women who’ve had experience in navigating dating and relationships.