u/PrincessKirstyn

*adding right away because of the rule: I don’t plan to self harm or hurt myself - this is more a discussion on how this is viewed and has been viewed).

Hi friends - if this doesn’t belong here I’m sorry I just have no safe person to talk to and I’m tired of crying when it’s quiet and I’m alone because I’m holding it in. (*am actively looking for a new therapist but it’s not easy to find in my area and I need something out of the home).

There’s a certain case (we all know it) in the news about a mother harming her kids and everyone has an opinion.

Some backstory on me: I had a terrible pregnancy (HG,GD,SIUGR, Pre-E,SUA) that resulted in my daughter being born a tad early at 34 weeks. Starting from my anatomy scan onwards I was told not to get too attached to my daughter because she likely wouldn’t make it or would be stillborn because she wasn’t showing adequate growth. I spent the rest of my pregnancy riddled with anxiety and really struggling. When my daughter was born she was rushed to the nicu & because I was on magnesium I wasn’t able to see her without a nurse escort, so I spent my first 24 hours with my husband crying a lot in my postpartum room. I felt so guilty for how my daughter came into the world, felt like I failed her, etc.. the nicu social worker marked me as a “depression risk” and that’s about it. Because I was separated from her a lot I had to pump religiously (every 2 hours), got no sleep, and really struggled. Then when she came home around 5 weeks that routine continued because she couldn’t latch. I felt so detached and separated from my baby and her dad got to do everything. It wasn’t until my postpartum appointment at 8 weeks that my husband and doctors caught on just how bad I was struggling and I started medication and stopped pumping. My daughter also was sooo colicky she would barely sleep, meaning I also didn’t sleep.

I share all that just to say it was hard for me, and l had really bad postpartum mental health issues.

Since this case has come out, everyone has an opinion. My sister in law is pregnant now and everyone already keeps saying how much better she’s handling it, how she was “meant to be a mom” and that “people who have difficulties shouldn’t have children”. Yesterday, I was also informed by multiple people that mothers who struggle with postpartum depression and anxiety don’t deserve to be mothers, should be locked up, and should have their kids taken away. I have tried to explain what she struggled with sounds more like postpartum psychosis and that it’s not the same as depression or anxiety. They say any mom who takes medication should have their kids taken.

I want to believe it’s just them being dumb but they know my entire story and I am very open about my postpartum mental health issues. My philosophy always was that you never know who it could help.

It hurts my heart because my daughter (2 now) is my entire world. I’m a stay at home mom and we’re besties, I can’t imagine my life without her. In fact, there were a few moments when I was really really struggling that I had a plan to end my life. On multiple occasions i would look at my sweet baby girl and remember that she needed me. She was actively the reason I made it so long and was still alive to ask for help. I lost my dad to suicide when I was 13, I was struggling but I was determined not to put my family through that pain.

Just now, I spoke openly with my mother in law about it and she said her stance is the same regardless of my story. I asked if she thinks I’m not a good mom because I take medication - she said, yes. She said a real mom doesn’t need help and can deal with her own issues.

I know I shouldn’t let this bother me, but I’m sad and it hurts. Again, I’m sorry if this is the wrong place for this… a lot of the other mom subs are talking about this case and there are a surprising number of women who feel the same as my family members do. I’m just trying to avoid hearing more of it as much as possible.

I just need to get this off my chest because I have nobody to talk to and feel so overwhelmed.

My toddler is 2, she was born early due to an emergency induction and spent time in the nicu. I was super sick during my pregnancy and just really struggling. Things didn’t go well and at my anatomy scan they discovered something wrong with my daughters umbilical cord and said told us that she was under the first percentile. After that appointment I kept getting told at every appointment not to get attached to her, that she would likely not make it and be born stillborn.

She wasn’t (obviously) and her and I bonded a lot while she was in the nicu, but it was never easy to leave her there and every day just felt like I did something wrong. When I was discharged from the hospital & had to leave without her I cried in the parking lot for about 20 minutes.

My OB diagnosed me with postpartum depression and anxiety, I got medicine and got help. This past year, some stuff resurfaced: my husbands grandma was passing in the nursing home & the monitors and alarms sent me into a full panic attack and I had to step away. Some other things started to really impact me and even going to the hospital my daughter was in for her developmental follow up was causing issues.

I sought out a diagnosis and I have officially been diagnosed with CPTSD & have started treatment. For a while it was fine and got better. The last few days I’ve been overly panicked that something is wrong with my daughter, feeling really guilty for anything I do, etc… Last night I had the most vivid nightmare I’ve ever had that involved my child being harmed, her ending up in the hospital, and her care team telling me that it was my fault, I was a bad mom, I didn’t deserve her, and that I should give her up for adoption.

I’ve been crying off and on all day long and it’s really impacting me negatively. My psychiatrist can’t get me in for a couple months. I hope this goes away soon, I just want to feel free to live and enjoy my life and watching my daughter grow up. 💔

Just a funny thing to bring a smile to someone hopefully.

My 2 year old LOVES lemonade. We got some low sugar from the store for her 2nd birthday since it was a special occasion. She’s very good with if, she knows she can only have a little, etc. I’m sure I’m doing something wrong by giving her lemonade but idk girl can have a treat as far as I’m concerned.

She has a speech delay but randomly just started full on clearly saying lemonade the other day. She was looking towards a wall in our house, giggling and saying “hi lemonade! Bye bye lemonade!” I was just so excited she was picking up more words that I didn’t question it.

This continued all day until bedtime when she keeps yelling “mama lemonade!!!” And I keep reminding her that lemonade is not a bedtime drink. She’s telling me no and getting frustrated, I’m getting frustrated and then she just lights up the biggest smile ever and shouts “HI LEMONADE”

At this point I’m like what is going on, our house is haunted, burn it all down! But then she starts telling me more about lemonade and how she loves him and she’s making monkey sounds.

I brought it up to her doctor at her EDC and they got excited and asked her if lemonade was her friend? She loudly shouted yeah and said love you lemonade!

Turns out my toddler has an imaginary friend! My gosh. I felt so silly, but I’m so impressed with her imagination. She used a zoo animal she has to show me what lemonade looks like and now we’re working on the word monkey.

Idk, after feeling like a failure I felt like this was both kinda silly and a win for us so I wanted to share!

Hi all - some background info here:

We found our recently our former preemie (currently 2, born 34+1) has a speech delay. Our local children’s hospital (EDC) said she “failed” her evaluation and that we need to get her in speech therapy IMMEDIATELY. (As well as a tumbling class, and a swim class, and daycare because she needs to be around other kids - which she is. I just am a SAHM the NP asked us if we “felt we made the right choice in having a stay at home parent after hearing her results”)

Today we had an in home SLP visit our home and do a full evaluation as a second opinion. She scored much higher (a week later) but still does have a minor delay. I know she needed help and wasn’t surprised but the emphasis on her “failing” seemed really odd to me.

Our hospital and this in home provider have expected spots for her at the same time, we are leaning towards the in home provider but are looking for any research or information on the effectiveness of telehealth therapy for toddlers.

For context, we are largely concerned because our toddler doesn’t use screens and isn’t really interested in them. I don’t really understand how this would be an effective method for her because I’m not sure she would even care. Even when we FaceTime friend she gets excited initially but the charm wears off rather quickly because the person isn’t actually there.

We are holding back on going forward with the in home therapist because our hospital keeps insisting that their program is the most effective and better for small kids.

I am curious if there is any research regarding the different methods that speech therapy can be performed for young kids and their effectiveness?

I just want to do what’s best for my child! I tried to do some digging into this topic on my own, but I’m mostly coming across people who just have a lot of opinions and no qualifications or research.

I’m one and done by choice due to health reasons. Probably TMI, but since having my daughter I have had terrible cycles and more frequent cycles (I am literally bleeding through a combination of pads and diapers at the same time) - I discussed just having a hysterectomy done with my OP and she’s “open” to discussing it (with my husband present 😒)

I’m kinda looking for first hand experience on what it was like/ recovery time as I’ll have to get help with my toddler if I’m down and out for a length of time.

I was fortunate and had a fairly easy birth (I moved furniture and boxes the Friday after I had her - shouldn’t have been but… pressure from family) & I’m wanting to set appropriate expectations for my family on what is reasonable to expect from me so I don’t feel pressured.

I appreciate any advice or experiences!

My daughter was a 34 weeker so she’s being followed by our local children’s hospital. She’s currently 23 months, 22 adjusted.

She needed to score an 8 to pass and scored a 7. On all other categories (fine motor, gross motor, and cognitive) she scored 11/12.

It’s not that she’s not saying words, it’s that she gets visibly frustrated that she can’t seem to physically make some sounds when prompted. We talk to her daily, narrate life, encourage her to talk to us, etc.

The doctor said it’s because she’s an only child that I stay home with and that we should really consider a sibling to make her life easier.

They then went on to tell me they were referring her to speech therapy but “parents who are able and doing enough don’t experience this” and “your daughter would do better being in daycare all day rather than staying home”.

I have my kid in swim lessons with other kids, we go to local free open plays, we go to parks, etc. I do my best to socialize her as much as possible but I’m feeling like a huge failure here.

To make matters worse I brought up a lip tie that the nicu failed to find (even with latching issues at birth) but her doctor and dentist both questioned. They laughed in my face and said that had nothing to do with speech, which I’m pretty sure I’ve been told differently but wasn’t necessary to laugh?

Like obviously my kid is smart, she’s scoring well. She understands so much… is it not possible she just needs some extra help? Why is it all my fault?

This just sucks. I’ve been up all night doomscrolling and crying off and on because legit I feel like I’m failing.

Hi!

My toddler is very fortunate to have had a good relationship with her great grandmother, unfortunately she has recently passed away and I’m looking for books to help her understand.

My daughter is young (2) but the social worker (from the nicu) we are still in contact with has said it’s best be upfront with them and not to try to hide what is happening - social worker has said this can impact them negatively and cause death anxiety.

Additionally, she’s starting to ask pictures about my dad and I want to be honest with her about what happened to him as well so if there are any books that mention different types of death that would be helpful.

I did try looking but got easily overwhelmed when all I was seeing was religious books as we aren’t religious and that wouldn’t have a positive impact.