u/Princess_Peach818

Currently laying sleepless next to my partner who’s spooning their dog after another day of fighting for even a smidge of the affection this dog gets. I woke up to my partner saying “Come here” thinking he was actually talking to me, only to realize he was grabbing the dog so they could cuddle and kiss. I feel sick and think this is my breaking point.

Anyone who says dogs aren’t manipulative is lying. I don’t think dogs are capable of feeling the range of human emotions that the dog-obsessed project onto them (guilt, “unconditional love,”) but they will absolutely do anything needed to get food or assert dominance - all they care about.

I was relaxing in bed when my partner was in the bathroom brushing their teeth. Their dog was in bed on the other side (gross, I know, but I tried to pick my battles). The dog suddenly jerked toward me like he had just seen something. He was pawing at the bed doing that digging thing dogs do and trying to shove his face under the pillow I was laying on. He’s actually a pretty calm dog usually so I thought maybe he saw something, like a bug. I stood up out of bed, getting ready to lift the pillow to try and see what had him worked up. As soon as I did, he immediately calmed down and curled up in the spot I had just been laying in like nothing had happened.

I thought he was just scared of something he saw but this dog was just trying to push me out and I fucking fell for it. This dog knew based on routine that my partner and I would likely try to cuddle or be intimate when he was back from brushing his teeth, and that couldn’t be allowed to fucking happen, now could it?

I went to tell my partner, who never believes me when I say the dog does not want me around and is so clearly resource guarding (this dog darts in between us when we try to get close, uses his head to shove my head out of the way when I try to cuddle with my partner, and generally goes crazy when we try to be intimate). My partner went into the bedroom and simply cooed at how cute the dog looked curled up in my spot.

I’m so done. I’ve communicated about this. I‘ve been honest about how being shoved aside for a dog (sometimes literally) makes me feel. I’ve made so much effort. I’ve tried to bond with this dog that fucking hates me. I’ve been told over and over that I’m the priority and that feeling like a third wheel is all in my head.

But what person who feels that way would choose to cuddle with their dog instead of their partner? Why would they consistently let their dog get in the way of their human relationships?

I’m done trying to build a partnership with someone who already has one. I’m done making an effort. I’m done feeling guilty for these feelings because everyone tells me that being “jealous of a dog” is ridiculous.

I‘m not going to spend my life fighting for dominance with a dog, especially when the prize is someone who is indifferent to my presence because their heart already belongs to their dog. I deserve more.

The sad thing is I’ve run into this relationship dynamic multiple times now and I had reasons to think this one would be different.

If you’re reading this, please be gentle with me. I’ve already admonished myself for not leaving earlier. I am feeling so low from loving so fully and openly and trying so hard to be a good partner and knowing that I will always come in second to a dog. I feel like shit right now but I’m also so excited to build myself back up again and to know that I don’t have to settle for feeling like this.

I’d rather be alone forever than be a third wheel to a dog.

I thought it would be helpful to translate some of the terms that dog nutters love to use since what they say and what the reality is don't always match up!

"Reactive": A dog that will snarl at, bite, or attack any animal or person it lays eyes on. Bonus points if they can go after a kid. And when that inevitably happens, the animal or person that was attacked is blamed for "triggering" the reactive dog and not being able to read its (unpredictable) body language.

"Nibble" (see also "love bite" or "kisses"): Sinking its teeth into the flesh of the nearest person or animal, often drawing blood or requiring stitches.

"Sweet boy" or "sweet girl" (see also "precious puppers"): A dog that will attack or be aggressive toward people or animals, behavior that's excused because surely they don't MEAN it! Just look at how SWEET they are! [insert picture of snarling animal that's chomping at the bit to attack]

"Jealous" (said endearingly): The dog is resource guarding and acting dangerously aggressive toward whatever person it's targeting, whether it be a child or a friend or romantic partner of its owner. The clock is ticking on when that targeted person will be bit, attacked or maimed... and then blamed for it.

"Unconditional love": What dog owners tell themselves they're experiencing when a dog follows them, stares at them, or jumps on them. In reality, the dog is relentlessly begging for any scrap or crumb of food they can get and acting in such a way that's typically rewarded with food.

What other terms should we add?

I don’t want to dogpile (excuse the choice of words) on someone, but I’m so disturbed by an Instagram account I keep seeing that encapsulates how dangerous and out of control dog culture has become. It’s a dog account I’ve seen a few times due to people I know liking their posts. I went through some of the posts and was horrified. A few of the recent videos:

-The dog blocking the family’s toddler from getting on the couch with his mom and basically pushing the kid off the couch. The toddler laughs at first because the mom is laughing, then when you see the toddler’s face, he looks distressed.

-The dog snarling and snapping at the mom as she feeds her baby a bottle.

-The dog snarling and snapping as they take pictures of the baby, while the mom coos about how badly the dog “wants attention too.”

-The kids trying to ride the dog like a horse, with the dog seeming distressed.

-The dog licking a little girl’s face, who moves away and is clearly not comfortable with it. The mom pleads with the little girl to “just give her a kiss” and that the little girl made the dog “sad.” The girl keeps moving away and is clearly not okay with it. (GREAT way to teach your daughters that consent doesn’t matter and that her body isn’t hers!!! 👍)

-The mom playfully scolding the dog for sitting (!!!) on their tiny baby who’s laying on the floor. (Even worse were the comments on this one praising the dog, saying it deserved treats, and being like “Aww, he feels bad he hurt the baby! Stop scolding him!”)

-The dog snarling and snapping at the mom as she plays with the baby, who’s laying on the floor on one of those baby mats. The dog lays down on its back and sort of shoves its way onto the mat, knocking against the baby as it essentially pushes the baby out of the way. This weird replacement shit dogs do is seen as this cute thing where they “just want cuddles too!” but it’s dangerous jealousy that could lead to them biting or attacking the person they’re jealous of.

I saw a few comments pointing out that a lot of this dog’s behavior is pretty clear resource guarding that could be extremely dangerous. But the vast majority of comments are people going wild for the dog, how “sweet” he is, and saying he can do no wrong.

Like I said, I’m not trying to single someone out to roast them. But I’m so disturbed at how so many people put their babies‘ safety at risk and neglect their children (like the kid being pushed off the couch when he’s trying to get to his mom) to keep their dogs on pedestal. Obviously what people post online is just a snapshot of their lives, and I have no right to claim that these people don’t love and take care of their kids. But posting clearly dangerous or risky situations between a dog and children and depicting it as this cutesy, sweet, silly thing is SO harmful.

I feel so worried for kids that grow up in households like this, which are sadly way too common these days.

There's a video going around of an Amazon delivery driver climbing on top of a car because of a dog (a German shepherd I think) going after him. I've seen this video posted a few different places, including one where people were earnestly discussing if the dog was being aggressive or "wanted to play." (I can't remember which sub this was in, I think it was a dog owner group.) I should know better than to ragebait myself but of course I looked at the comments and of course, the vast majority of people were saying the precious puppers that was darting at the driver and barking its head off likely just "wanted to play" because he wasn't biting or getting too close.

I'm not surprised they see no issue with this and have no empathy for the guy who had to leap to safety to avoid this random mutt going after him. But do these people hear themselves??? "Aww sweet baby boy just wanted to play!!!" I don't really care if your precious doggo walked over and handed me a $100 bill. I don't want to deal with your dog, pet your dog, or play with your dog. Leash your dog and keep it inside so people who are just doing their job don't have to deal with this.

I also hate this idea that we're expected to be onguard at all times to make this split second decision about whether a dog is dangerous or not. Nutters get SO defensive when we show even a SMIDGE of hesitation or fear because we're not fawning all over their mutt like most people do, so they miss out on their daily dose of validation. But idk man, if a dog that's genuinely as big as me is charging at me and barking its head off I'm going to go ahead and assume my personal space and safety are about to go out the window.

IDK, I'm feeling extra fatigued at dog culture today and delivery drivers deal with SO much bullshit because of dogs so this pissed me off extra.

I work with a bunch of dog owners and it's given me a lot of insight into how these people think.

One in particular is the biggest dog person I know. Caring about animals and the environment is a big part of her personality - volunteering at animal shelters, recycling, etc. She gives us a lot of shit when we use plastic because of how it's bad for marine life. It's a little sanctimonious but I try to do my part to be green too, so I respect it! All good. But she's also one of those people who insists her dog is her child, brings the huge crazy dog everywhere she can despite how destructive it is, says all the "Dogs are better than people" nonsense, etc.

The other day on our lunch break, we were all talking about gardening. This coworker mentioned that a lot of her plants have been getting chewed up because her dog hasn't been as good about "getting rid of the creatures" that get into the garden. I asked what she meant and she said "Squirrels, raccoons, you know." She explained that she lets her dog loose to kill these animals when they come into the yard, but it's been too hot for the dog to run around in the yard so he's been killing less of them.

I was floored. How could someone who takes so much pride in caring for animals talk so flippantly about squirrels being mauled and express disappointment that more of them haven't been killed lately?! It was such a classic example of how nutters put dogs on a pedestal and give them free rein to do whatever they want. Any other value or principle these people have goes out the WINDOW when it comes to their almighty dog.

Because I'm in this sub, I always get recommended posts from dog groups. I've noticed consistent types of posts, which I think really encapsulate the experience of dog ownership.

1. Asking "Is this aggressive?" with a video of a borderline feral dog thrashing, biting (usually referred to as "nibbling") or lunging at children, other pets, or fellow dogs, followed by tons of comments letting the owner know the dog is just "being playful" or "saying hi!"

2. Lamenting all the hardship a dog is causing them (astronomical vet bills, destroyed belongings and homes, inability to leave the house because of a dog's anxiety or needs) and asking what they should do, followed by a chorus of nutters telling them they either need to A. just get the dog more training or B. stick the dog in a crate all day. (What's the point of even having a dog then?) But under NO CIRCUMSTANCES can you rehome the dog, no matter how much it's destroying your life, or you're evil!

3. Freaking out about something the dog got into or ate and wondering if they should take them to the vet.

4. Posting a video of or describing something gross the dog does (licking their genitals, humping everything insight) and asking "Does anyone else's doggo do this? So silly!!!"

All in all, the more I hear from dog owners, the more I think dog ownership sounds miserable and that they've deluded themselves into thinking they're carrying out some divine purpose when in reality, they're shackled to an animal that's destroying their life and making them miss out on a life of freedom, cleanliness, fulfilling human relationships, and bliss.

Hi, all! I'm going to be visiting Panama City Beach next month and I'm so excited. I love discovering new coffee shops and am wondering if anyone has any they would recommend. I particularly love iced lattes and good pastries. I've done some Googling but would love to hear which shops locals like ☕️

Nutters truly do not care about the people in their lives – and they will shove a dog into everything they can.

Last week, I had plans to get dinner with a group of longtime friends and we were excited to catch up with each other. The nutter of the group texted us asking if the place allowed dogs; someone responded yes, on the outdoor patio, and I knew where this was going. Couple of things:

-This dog is a nuisance. I'm not sure what breed it is but I've seen this dog many times before and it's MASSIVE, that thing is like a horse. Every time I've seen this dog he's always pinballing around the room, knocking things over, chewing up everything in sight, and humping every leg he sees while everyone just oohs and ahhs over the "sweet boy."

-I HATE being around dogs at restaurants - the constant begging and staring while you eat, everyone shoveling food into the dog's gross slobbering mouth with their bare hands then touching their own food (🤢), how the entire conversation and outing becomes about the dog. There is no way we would be able to talk or catch up or be present because you know how these people are - they're like zombies when a dog is around.

-Like many places right now, my city is having a massive heat wave. It was 95 degrees at the time we were meeting!! It's really humid where I live too; you'll be covered in sweat just from walking from your car to the building. I'm not sitting outside in that just so someone who's codependent on their dog can have their social safety net panting under the table. I was coming from work too so I was in work clothes, which would have been fine if we were sitting inside in the AC - like I had thought we'd be.

Of course, everyone started going feral with excitement about the dog coming, like a celebrity was going to grace us with their presence. I started typing out a text letting them know I'd be skipping this one because I'm not sitting outside during a heat wave. But just then, the dog owner texted and said "Never mind, it's probably too hot for him to be outside." Gotta love how there was never any consideration of the human attendees' comfort, either about sitting outside during the heat or how our dinner was now taken over by someone's dog. It was such a classic example of how nutters think.

There's a lot I don't understand about dog owners, but one of the most bonkers ones has to be when they share "custody" of a dog with an ex. I genuinely had no idea this was a thing until recently.

I just saw a post of someone earnestly asking for advice about their "coparenting" situation, saying they had been sharing a dog with their ex for 5 years!! A dog is NOT a child, you don't need to share "custody" of it! I know that when a relationship ends, who takes the pet might be a tough question, but come on, you don't need to have an arrangement to keep the dog in both of your lives. My God. If I was dating someone and found out they "coparented" a dog with an ex I'd run away so fast there would be cartoonish dust left in my wake.

I'm so glad I found this community because not liking dogs genuinely makes me feel insane when it seems like society is filled with nutters.

Sometimes I can't wrap my head around what they're seeing. For example, I saw a post of someone seeking advice on their "bitey" dog. They posted a video of the dog trying to chomp on their hand, the dogs' eyes going wild as it thrashed around trying to sink its huge sharp teeth into the owner's hand. They were asking fellow dog owners to explain this behavior, saying the dog has always been "bitey" when he wants to play but that he bites with way more painful force when they're "doing something he doesn't like," like trying to put him in a crate. Most of the comments were like "Awww he just wants to play!" and "For the love of God, give that sweet boy some pets!" WHAT? The video looked to me like an aggressive, chaotic, untrained dog trying to take a bite out of its owner.

I know these things are subjective (for example, I love kids and find them adorable, but I totally understand that not everyone feels that way). But there are so many times there will be a dog that everyone is fawning over and I not only don't find it cute, I think it looks actively scary, off-putting and gross. They'll anthropomorphize the dog, saying things like "Awww so much love in his eyes! Look at how he's looking at you!" while all I see (at best) is a mindless animal waiting for food scraps to appear - or (at worst) a predator looking for something living to gnaw on.

I just don't see what these people are seeing and in a lot of settings, I'm the only one who doesn't find a giant, panting dog pinballing around, causing havoc and looking genuinely scary and aggressive to be adorable and precious.

I'm obviously the furthest thing from a dog expert, but sometimes certain behaviors seem objectively aggressive to me and it seems dangerous that nutters write off this stuff as "cute." What about when that "bitey" dog gets close to a baby or chews up and kills a small animal? Will they still find that puppers so precious then? (The answer is yes, which is what's so disturbing to me.)

Hi all, I'm looking for a dentist in the Atlanta area. I moved here a few years ago and have been to several dentists in the city that seem promising and have yet to find one that isn't trying to upsell me on all sorts of things. I'm just looking for a basic cleaning and I have Cigna insurance that covers two cleanings a year.

I'm in the Grant Park, Old Fourth Ward, Sandy Springs, and Dunwoody/Chamblee areas often for work, so anywhere around there works. But at this point I'm willing to drive any distance for a dentist that doesn't seem scam-y 😂 Does anyone have a good dentist they trust?

There's a conversational style some people have that I find so irritating. It goes like this:

[Person tells you a crazy story]

You: "Wow, that sounds hectic!"

Person: "Not hectic, just chaotic."

Are those not similar enough?! Or you'll be trying to empathize with something they're telling you and you're just never quite saying the right thing for them.

You: "It sounds like that was really difficult."

Them: "Not difficult, more like stressful."

An acquaintance was telling me recently about a time they were riding a horse and the horse got a little out of control and started bucking. I said, "Wow, that sounds scary!" And they said "It wasn't scary. I knew how to handle it. Just unsettling." Yeesh, sorry for trying to engage with your story. Am I the only one who finds these types of people insufferable?

I feel like I've noticed this in contrarians, know-it-alls or "well, actually ☝🏼🤓" type of people. Look, I love vocabulary as much as the next person and consider myself to be relatively intelligent and good with words. But it's impossible to have a conversation with these people when they're nitpicking everything you say - especially about stuff that does not matter or when the meanings are truly not that different.

I've genuinely drifted away from people in my life who converse like this because it's just exhausting.

I hate to sound so negative and fearmongering, but this genuinely worries me about dog culture.

Because I look at subs like this, I see a lot of dog stuff on Reddit, including from dog owners (and obviously that's all over social media in general too, since it seems to be how the majority of people think now). I think the level of anthropomorphizing that nutters do is genuinely concerning and represents something way larger and darker that's going on in society.

For example, I saw a post recently of someone acknowledging that their dog has ruined their dating life (and their social life in general) but that they wouldn't have it any other way. This person wrote about all the benefits the dog has provided them, including that the dog "encouraged them to cut contact with toxic people and be around people who are friendlier" (umm, what?), that the dog doesn't insult them, that the dog "appreciates me for who I am" and "just wants me to be happy." They said the dog "disapproves" of them making unhealthy choices. The dog doesn't have the capacity to do any of these things. That's pure projection. The post acknowledged that yes, there's things a boyfriend can provide that a dog can't but that those things "aren't even worth it."

I'm not a monster; if someone is lonely or hurting mentally, I'm glad they can find comfort in something (even though I personally can't fathom a dog doing that for me). But I'm genuinely worried about how anti-social our society is getting and I think dog culture is making things WAY worse. People no longer need to challenge themselves to make friends, try new hobbies, get out into the community, or form romantic partnerships because they're perfectly happy sitting at home with their dog and convincing themselves it's a stand-in for human relationships. It's the "Dogs are better than humans!!!" mentality that nutters always say. It's not healthy to fill the need for human connection (a need that we all have!) with an animal that doesn't have the same capacity for emotion or thought that you do.

A dog can't support you. A dog can't understand what you say. A dog can't talk through your problems with you. A dog can't help find solutions with you. When you lose a loved one, lose a job, go through actual hardship, your dog can't help you. Who would be there to provide real support? A fellow human being who actually understands the depths of what you're going through. People can tell themselves that their dog following them around with nothing in their head but hoping for scraps of food is "unconditional love" - but it's not.

There are other factors making us isolated too (social media and phone addiction destroying our dopamine receptors, economic distress and political tensions), so I'm not sure if toxic dog culture is a symptom or a cause. In many cases, I think it's an indication of severe mental issues that need actual help, support, and solutions - not just having a dog in the house.

There are a lot of little annoyances about dogs and dog culture, but I think the way it's accelerating a total degradation of social skills and human connection is by far the most insidious. I'm really hoping something changes, because it scares me to think about where things seem to be headed.

Guys. Yesterday I went to a party and I’m still reeling from the dog situation there. So my friend had a small gathering, about 8-9 of us, to catch up, play some games and just have fun. A couple hours into the night, my friend let us know our other friend was on his way and he was bringing his dog. I hadn’t seen this friend in awhile so I was excited to catch up.

I knew he had gotten a dog but oh. My. God. When he arrived, the massive dog went berserk, undoubtedly overstimulated by all the people (whyyyy bring a dog to a party). The dog was running and jumping everywhere and knocking things down. At one point, his giant tail knocked over everything on the table and everyone‘s drinks went flying. I felt so bad because the host had just been telling us she just got this (white!) rug! Now it was COVERED in beer, soda and red wine. I thought she’d be upset but she just thought it was hilarious (she’s a nutter too).

The dog was jumping all over everyone, jumping on people sitting on the floor to the point where they would be laid out flat (this dog was HUGE), and licking and slobbering everywhere. He was licking the side of one girl’s face so much her hair was soaking wet - I was so confused and I literally asked her if she had gone over to the pool, that’s how wet her hair was. She laughed and said it was dog slobber!! 🤢

At one point the dog could not stop humping people’s legs. I got up ready to leave if it came over to me. It was already grossing me out how its giant balls were dangling and basically thwacking people as it ran around and climbed on them. Eventually the owner took the dog outside to shit and we had some brief peace again.

Later we decided to do a card game. The friend who owns the dog was sitting in the corner basically holding the dog back. We invited him to play and he said ”eh, better not“ because he needed to keep the dog restrained. I couldn’t believe he was so okay with missing out on spending time with his friends. You couldn’t leave the dog at home for 2 hours?! I’m so over these people being so codependent they have to take their dogs EVERYWHERE.

This dog completely ruined the vibe of the party and turned it into total chaos and destruction. We were having such a great time before the dog got there, then it turned into watching an animal destroy things and attack people for 2 hours. I felt like I was going insane. Aside from like 2 other people there who aren’t huge fans of dogs either, everyone else was in awe when he was destroying everything and being a nuisance, even the host!!! I couldn’t believe she was okay with that, and I couldn’t believe that no one seemed to recognize how much this dog made everything suck. None of us really talked to the friend who brought the dog because he was either outside or skulking with the dog in the corner. How is that an enjoyable party experience? Why even come? How these people think that dogs make everything so great is BEYOND ME.

I’m so bummed. I made the mistake of dating a dog owner after telling myself I wouldn’t do it again. Here I am, wondering why I thought I could change someone who gets all the connection, support and intimacy that they need from a dog.

This person truly seemed reasonable. They hated fake service animal bullshit, they emphasized that they see their dog as a pet and not a child, they understood my boundaries with the dog. But I was fighting for connection, intimacy and any FEELING from this person. They cuddle with their dog and whisper to it how amazing and sweet and special and cute it was while I wait for even a scrap of affection or a kind word. Intimacy was rushed and seen as a chore because they wanted to get back to their dog. As a girl, you’re told your whole life to watch out because guys just want sex. It’s been the greatest surprise of my life to know that’s not true at all; they just want to be with their dog.

I’m not competing with an animal anymore. I can’t believe I tried it again. Take it from me - there‘s no reasoning with these people. They aren’t capable of human relationships. Their sense of connection is so warped and they truly believe they can get everything they need from an animal.

It sucks. It’s so frustrating. I’m a loyal and supportive partner. I’m fun to be around. I‘ve been told I’m attractive. I’ve been told I’m a catch and how am I still single and that it will be easy to find someone. But well-meaning people who say these platitudes don’t know that in the dating pool, everyone’s hearts are already taken - by their dog. I’m done competing. They can have fun with their life of being a slave to an animal’s shitting schedule. I’m going to continue enjoying my life, traveling, going on adventures, being spontaneous, and living a life that dog owners could never. I’m officially done with these pathetic people.

Guys. A coffee shop recently opened in my city and it's a really cool spot I've been going to regularly. I felt good about supporting them because they don't allow dogs inside. They responded to a negative review from a nutter complaining about the dog policy, saying that within a first few days of opening, a dog bit an employee (!!!) so they banned dogs from inside. (Mind you, dogs are still allowed on the patio, but that's not enough for nutters, who obviously want to take over the inside too.)

Anyway, I liked spending time there knowing there wouldn't be dogs inside barking, spreading germs, and plowing into people's tables (as is the case with most other coffee shops in my city). Lo and behold, I just saw on the Instagram story for this coffee shop a HUGE dog in there, with a dog bed set up and everything! Their whole Instagram story is reposting other people's posts fawning over the dog, which apparently belongs to the owner.

I'm speechless. They literally said they wouldn't allow dogs inside and now the owner gets to have their own mutt camp out there, in a FOOD ESTABLISHMENT? The pictures of the dog rolling around on the floor in there disgusted me and I'm pissed that they went back on their word (and the blatant hypocrisy). Guess I won't be going there anymore.

I've (29F) been dating someone (29M) for about 4 months and he's wonderful, has so many qualities I value and admire, and we have so much fun together.

A big difference is that he's a major dog person and I'm not. I used to be pretty afraid of dogs (I grew up with cats, and my only experiences with dogs were being chased/bitten/knocked down by them when I was a kid). I've generally gotten over that fear as an adult, but I'm still not super used to them. I think the jumping, the barking, the smell, etc. can all be a big adjustment when you're not used it, but I really like this guy so I was open to getting to know his cute beagle and fully understood they're a package deal.

I understand what goes into dating a dog owner, as I've dated dog owners in the past - we can only stay at his place and not mine, plans can't go on for too long since we have to go back to take the dog out, most dates will have to be at outdoor or dog-friendly places so we can take him along.

What I struggle with more is our inability to have intimacy or really any physical connection. When I try to cuddle with my boyfriend, the dog darts over instantly and crams in between us. And when it comes to sex, after a few things that totally killed the mood (i.e. several times of the dog trying to get "involved"), I said the dog needs to be off the bed during sex and my partner totally understood and has been great about enforcing that.

My boyfriend has been as understanding as I would want in this situation - hears me out, removes the dog during these situations when I'm obviously getting frustrated with it impeding our time together. But I'm still finding myself getting frustrated at how this dog feels like a constant barrier to connection. Sex feels rushed because the dog is sitting on the floor next to the bed waiting to jump back on literally the second we finish. (The dog being out of the room isn't an option, as my boyfriend tells me he'll just scratch at the door. I can't see any world where my boyfriend would be open to a crate.)

Last time, I tried to cuddle with my boyfriend after sex by laying on his chest, and the dog darted onto his chest and physically pushed me out. My boyfriend moved the dog and told me to come back but I said the mood was ruined. My boyfriend thinks the dog just wants attention and he seems to think it's sweet but I think it's a possessive thing and it's creeping me out. The dog used its head to shove my head out of the way and then lay where I was and it almost seemed like he was trying to literally take my place. It felt so bizarre. (I know this sounds insane.) I've expressed that I need intimacy to be the one thing that's just between the two of us and he says he understands, but the dog somehow always ends up ruining the moment. It's also difficult to enjoy sex and feel present knowing there's a dog waiting right there just watching from the floor.

I didn't think this would be an issue because the dog is on the small side and is relatively well behaved, albeit clingy to my boyfriend. (I dated a guy in the past with a HUGE super possessive/needy dog who would go BERSERK and try to knock me down if the guy hugged me or gave me a kiss.)

Another thing that's been frustrating me is how much this affects our plans. Last weekend, we had tickets to a concert we were both really excited about. We took the dog to dinner even though it didn't make any geographic sense for us to go to this dog-friendly place and then have to go back home to drop him off. We ended up being an hour late to the concert and I was really upset. My boyfriend felt bad and acknowledged that this was a time when doing something just the two of us would have made more sense, but it got me thinking about how much he's willing to sacrifice for the dog (i.e. any memories we try to make together or fun times we try to have).

Some people have told me I just shouldn't date a dog owner if I'm not willing to put up with these sacrifices - but it seems like EVERYONE has a dog. I remember during my dating app days, nearly every profile was a guy looking for a "dog mom." My boyfriend at least seems somewhat receptive to the boundaries I've tried to set and agrees that in theory intimacy should just be about us, so I felt like we could have some common ground with this.

But I realized recently that all of my good memories with him (the ones where we feel super connected, our chemistry is off the charts, we actually have deep talks about the future) are when it's just me and him, which is about 30% of the time. All other times, we're with the dog, he's snuggling with the dog, he's talking to the dog. And I feel like the third wheel.

I'm not trying to get in the way of their bond (he adopted the dog about four years ago, and he was single for most of that time, so I understand they're close) but I'm trying to figure out what's reasonable to set boundaries on. I appreciate the no-dog-on-the-bed-during-sex thing but clearly that isn't going far enough. I'd also appreciate him leaving the dog home more and to have more non-dog dates but I'm not sure how much is fair to ask for. Any tips on navigating this? I would love some advice from people in similar situations, or from dog owners on how they maintain intimacy and connection with their partners. Or should I cut my losses and move on?

TLDR: Boyfriend's dog is getting in the way of our relationship and I don't know what boundaries are reasonable to ask for.