u/Prior-Raspberry-9618

Aight so there was this cousin of mine who used to live with me in my childhood and he used to bully me a lot even assaulted me, later our family shifted to our own home but cause of that trauma I developed many conditions and I didn't used to talk or trust anybody in my own family because my mother used to beat me, maybe because of work stress. I started to seek validation outside my family through friends and made quite a lot of frnds but it backfired me coz I trusted them too much and they made a fool out of me (even scammed me with money) which I realised only later. Due to this my self esteem was shattered and I never cared about myself and didn't know what was even happening, only after 10 grade I started looking positively towards myself and assured myself that I DESERVE TO CARE ABOUT MYSELF even if no one is there, from then life is quite peaceful.

But recently that cousin commited suicide and I think it shouldn't have happened but I lowkey also think that he deserved it.

I don't know, should I forgive him? for what he did to me in childhood or not what do you guys think?

TL;DR - My cousin who used to abuse me in my childhood committed suicide and I lowkey feel he deserved it. Am I right or wrong?

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