u/Prior-Tie4985

I dreamt of you last night. It was our finally goodbye. It felt so real to be held by you again. I remember melting into your chest as you wrapped your arms around me. Your heart beating loudly against my ear. Panicked and yet hard like a horses hooves galloping against me. I felt your beard lightly poke against the crown of my head and your hard shoulders press into me. The soft wetness from the tears we both wept. Your deep voice telling me how much you hated me for what I put you through. You had a black button down shirt and your long trench coat (you’d put on me and joke wouldn’t close because of my large chest) on. With your lightly tanned skin,striking hazel eyes and tall stance; you always reminded me of the devil in disguise all wrapped up in mystery. Seeing you so vividly breathing in front of me. Feeling your firm dense body against mine again was calming. Almost peaceful enough to want to live in it forever. You held me as we spoke of the past. The memories. Everything we shared. Warehouse 13, Castlevania, Dr.who…. And so so so many more. We both wished we could have had an official choice in a relationship. Dates. Nights to just us. Starting a life or several together. We never really got that and now well it’s to far gone. And then you spoke of your new life and how she’s not me but she’s….different. She was willing to give you what you wanted when you wanted it. And I couldn’t and there was no guarantee. We both took the safe ways out in the end. We both had regrets but we made peace with each other a long time ago. So we kissed our goodbyes away and wiped each other’s tears for the final time. And I awoke with a sense of sadness but acceptance that you were at least happy. Even if it wasn’t with me.

It’s a cruel reminder that it wasn’t all real. The closure wasn’t real. You weren’t real. And I have to accept that that version of you isn’t real either.

You were my Skyboy even if you didn’t like that nickname(ironic) and I was your Ahsoka.

\-A loving Stranger

I dreamt of you last night. It was our finally goodbye. It felt so real to be held by you again. I remember melting into your chest as you wrapped your arms around me. Your heart beating loudly against my ear. Panicked and yet hard like a horses hooves galloping against me. I felt your beard lightly poke against the crown of my head and your hard shoulders press into me. The soft wetness from the tears we both wept. Your deep voice telling me how much you hated me for what I put you through. You had a black button down shirt and your long trench coat (you’d put on me and joke wouldn’t close because of my large chest) on. With your lightly tanned skin,striking hazel eyes and tall stance; you always reminded me of the devil in disguise all wrapped up in mystery. Seeing you so vividly breathing in front of me. Feeling your firm dense body against mine again was calming. Almost peaceful enough to want to live in it forever. You held me as we spoke of the past. The memories. Everything we shared. Warehouse 13, Castlevania, Dr.who…. And so so so many more. We both wished we could have had an official choice in a relationship. Dates. Nights to just us. Starting a life or several together. We never really got that and now well it’s to far gone. And then you spoke of your new life and how she’s not me but she’s….different. She was willing to give you what you wanted when you wanted it. And I couldn’t and there was no guarantee. We both took the safe ways out in the end. We both had regrets but we made peace with each other a long time ago. So we kissed our goodbyes away and wiped each other’s tears for the final time. And I awoke with a sense of sadness but acceptance that you were at least happy. Even if it wasn’t with me.

It’s a cruel reminder that it wasn’t all real. The closure wasn’t real. You weren’t real. And I have to accept that that version of you isn’t real either.

You were my Skyboy even if you didn’t like that nickname(ironic) and I was your Ahsoka.

-A loving Stranger

I dreamt of you last night. It was our finally goodbye. It felt so real to be held by you again. I remember melting into your chest as you wrapped your arms around me. Your heart beating loudly against my ear. Panicked and yet hard like a horses hooves galloping against me. I felt your beard lightly poke against the crown of my head and your hard shoulders press into me. The soft wetness from the tears we both wept. Your deep voice telling me how much you hated me for what I put you through. You had a black button down shirt and your long trench coat (you’d put on me and joke wouldn’t close because of my large chest) on. With your lightly tanned skin,striking hazel eyes and tall stance; you always reminded me of the devil in disguise all wrapped up in mystery. Seeing you so vividly breathing in front of me. Feeling your firm dense body against mine again was calming. Almost peaceful enough to want to live in it forever. You held me as we spoke of the past. The memories. Everything we shared. Warehouse 13, Castlevania, Dr.who…. And so so so many more. We both wished we could have had an official choice in a relationship. Dates. Nights to just us. Starting a life or several together. We never really got that and now well it’s to far gone. And then you spoke of your new life and how she’s not me but she’s….different. She was willing to give you what you wanted when you wanted it. And I couldn’t and there was no guarantee. We both took the safe ways out in the end. We both had regrets but we made peace with each other a long time ago. So we kissed our goodbyes away and wiped each other’s tears for the final time. And I awoke with a sense of sadness but acceptance that you were at least happy. Even if it wasn’t with me.

It’s a cruel reminder that it wasn’t all real. The closure wasn’t real. You weren’t real. And I have to accept that that version of you isn’t real either.

You were my Skyboy even if you didn’t like that nickname(ironic) and I was your Ahsoka.

-A loving Stranger

By the end of the summer I’ll probably be in a different state. AZ never really felt like much of a home anyways and new beginnings sometimes require new places. I finally left him after over a decade. It’s been about a year since you blocked me after getting with my sister. Not by blood but it still stung none the less. I understood why you did what you did and why you’re still with her now. Her betrayal well that’s another story for another day. What I can say is I’m sorry I lied and said I didn’t love you anymore. That we wanted different things. The reality was I didn’t have it in me to leave him yet. I wanted you to be free to love someone who was stronger than I was. You deserved better. Then when she told me her plan to get her “target” i encouraged her not knowing it was you. Granted this wasn’t the first time she’d gone after an ex partner of mine. But you two seem happy a year later so I guess it all worked out in the end. I’ve left you alone all this time. Not because I love you but because SHE loves you. And I’ve loved her since she was a kid sister of mine. So I stay away from you. I love you Sweetie and this is probably goodbye. I love you J.

P.S. finish your life’s work. It’s a fantastic world you’re creating in those pages.

By the end of the summer I’ll probably be in a different state. AZ never really felt like much of a home anyways and new beginnings sometimes require new places. I finally left him after over a decade. It’s been about a year since you blocked me after getting with my sister. Not by blood but it still stung none the less. I understood why you did what you did and why you’re still with her now. Her betrayal well that’s another story for another day. What I can say is I’m sorry I lied and said I didn’t love you anymore. That we wanted different things. The reality was I didn’t have it in me to leave him yet. I wanted you to be free to love someone who was stronger than I was. You deserved better. Then when she told me her plan to get her “target” i encouraged her not knowing it was you. Granted this wasn’t the first time she’d gone after an ex partner of mine. But you two seem happy a year later so I guess it all worked out in the end. I’ve left you alone all this time. Not because I love you but because SHE loves you. And I’ve loved her since she was a kid sister of mine. So I stay away from you. I love you Sweetie and this is probably goodbye. I love you J.

P.S. finish your life’s work. It’s a fantastic world you’re creating in those pages.

By the end of the summer I’ll probably be in a different state. AZ never really felt like much of a home anyways and new beginnings sometimes require new places. I finally left him after over a decade. It’s been about a year since you blocked me after getting with my sister. Not by blood but it still stung none the less. I understood why you did what you did and why you’re still with her now. Her betrayal well that’s another story for another day. What I can say is I’m sorry I lied and said I didn’t love you anymore. That we wanted different things. The reality was I didn’t have it in me to leave him yet. I wanted you to be free to love someone who was stronger than I was. You deserved better. Then when she told me her plan to get her “target” i encouraged her not knowing it was you. Granted this wasn’t the first time she’d gone after an ex partner of mine. But you two seem happy a year later so I guess it all worked out in the end. I’ve left you alone all this time. Not because I love you but because SHE loves you. And I’ve loved her since she was a kid sister of mine. So I stay away from you. I love you Sweetie and this is probably goodbye. I love you J.

P.S. finish your life’s work. It’s a fantastic world you’re creating in those pages.

By the end of the summer I’ll probably be in a different state. AZ never really felt like much of a home anyways and new beginnings sometimes require new places. I finally left him after over a decade. It’s been about a year since you blocked me after getting with my sister. Not by blood but it still stung none the less. I understood why you did what you did and why you’re still with her now. Her betrayal well that’s another story for another day. What I can say is I’m sorry I lied and said I didn’t love you anymore. That we wanted different things. The reality was I didn’t have it in me to leave him yet. I wanted you to be free to love someone who was stronger than I was. You deserved better. Then when she told me her plan to get her “target” i encouraged her not knowing it was you. Granted this wasn’t the first time she’d gone after an ex partner of mine. But you two seem happy a year later so I guess it all worked out in the end. I’ve left you alone all this time. Not because I love you but because SHE loves you. And I’ve loved her since she was a kid sister of mine. So I stay away from you. I love you Sweetie and this is probably goodbye. I love you J.

P.S. finish your life’s work. It’s a fantastic world you’re creating in those pages.

I remember the first time I saw you. I walked into that dojo and locked eyes with you. It was the first time I remember thinking “ this can’t possibly be what love at first sight feels like “. But I knew.
It was an immediate interest and spark. Curiosity crept into me that day. I asked for your name.
[redacted].
I drowned that day. In your voice “good girl…”. In your gaze. The way you held me firm and hard when I would start to spiral. The way I could only ever sleep on the floor near you and that damn baby blanket of yours. Otherwise it felt like nightmares overwhelmed me. It’s odd how I remember you so vividly. It’s like you never left and yet it’s been over a year.

I mourn it all now.
Even that dojo.
Especially that dojo.

I remember the first time I saw you. I walked into that dojo and locked eyes with you. It was the first time I remember thinking “ this can’t possibly be what love at first sight feels like “. But I knew.
It was an immediate interest and spark. Curiosity crept into me that day. I asked for your name.
[redacted].
I drowned that day. In your voice “good girl…”. In your gaze. The way you held me firm and hard when I would start to spiral. The way I could only ever sleep on the floor near you and that damn baby blanket of yours. Otherwise it felt like nightmares overwhelmed me. It’s odd how I remember you so vividly. It’s like you never left and yet it’s been over a year.

I mourn it all now.
Even that dojo.
Especially that dojo.

Friday 13th was always my favorite date. You just happened to make it even better my little Devil. Caramel and sandy curls, Italian hazel eyes and that wicked deep voice. Your image is embedded in my heart. A memory running through my veins with every passing day. I wonder what eternal life would have brought us had you not replaced me with a copy. Oh sweetie how I miss the false memory of being your Love.

Friday 13th was always my favorite date. You just happened to make it even better my little Devil. Caramel and sandy curls, Italian hazel eyes and that wicked deep voice. Your image is embedded in my heart. A memory running through my veins with every passing day. I wonder what eternal life would have brought us had you not replaced me with a copy. Oh sweetie how I miss the false memory of being your Love.

Friday 13th was always my favorite date. You just happened to make it even better my little Devil. Caramel and sandy curls, Italian hazel eyes and that wicked deep voice. Your image is embedded in my heart. A memory running through my veins with every passing day. I wonder what eternal life would have brought us had you not replaced me with a copy. Oh sweetie how I miss the false memory of being your Love.