Do bridal shops tend to carry try-on dresses in certain sizes, like generally a 4 and 12? As a size 14/16 in non-bridal, I’m worried I won’t have many good options to try on. Am I overthinking this? Thank you!!
Looking for pink/coral and burgundy( “red tail” ) amaranth plants! 💓 Have you seen any in stock? I’m open to buying from small nurseries or Fred Meyer garden centers if necessary!
I (37F, ADHD) would love this community’s thoughts on the following —
TL;DR version: My autistic fiance (37M) struggles with anger and reactivity toward me and others. Is it realistic to hope this can shift significantly with enough support, therapy, etc? Or is it more realistic that this will not change much, even if he really wants it to? I’m wondering if his baseline of overwhelm makes real change on this front pretty difficult?
*** To be clear, I do not think anger or abusive behavior are in any way an autistic trait. I just don’t know if my fiancé’s capacity and baseline, given his autism, are compatible with cohabitating with a romantic partner, especially a sensitive one like me. ***
Longer version:
I really hope we can make this relationship function in a healthy, sustainable way. I love my fiance so much and am drawn to autistic folks when it comes to both friendship and romance. Our relationship has been pretty challenging since we moved in together about a year ago. I have a lot of compassion for the childhood (and adulthood) wounds that fuel his reactivity and rage, but I’m also not okay with enduring what oftentimes constitutes emotional abuse. We are both in individual therapy and do weekly couples therapy with a therapist that specializes in neurodivergence and autism.
His dysregulation/anger challenges certainly popped up before moving in together, but in the past year, this is what’s been happening:
— I calmly share a pretty benign need or boundary of mine with him (that certain dates on the calendar wouldn’t work well for his mom to visit, but that other ones would) and he’ll reply in a venomous tone — or with an angry outburst. This happens in both public and private settings.
— He sometimes sulks and gives me the silent treatment when I express that I am not in the mood for sexual intimacy. (I know this could be RSD-related, but it feels very manipulative. I’m a survivor of SA)
— I’m very selective about when I tell him that he has unintentionally hurt my feelings because this can trigger disdain/dismissiveness from him, or even meltdowns (during which he punches himself in the face in front of me). I always make sure to frame it as something like this to mitigate blowback [we are in “parts work” oriented couples therapy] — “I know you didn’t intend to, but some of my younger parts that I’m still working on healing felt hurt by XYZ.”
— Sometimes his bad moods radiate with an intensity that fills up the whole house and makes me feel like I’m walking on eggshells. This can also happen in group settings with friends and family and feels pretty uncomfortable. I’ve definitely had friends distance themselves from me/us because of this behavior.
With time, he can usually acknowledge the hurt he caused and apologize, but since these things are usually happening multiple times a week, I’m desperate for change and starting to feel hopeless about that being a real possibility. He knows I need this to change in order to move forward with getting married and he says he can and will change, but…my questions/concerns are…
Is it realistic to hope this can shift significantly with enough support, therapy, etc? Or is it more realistic that this will not change much, even if he really wants it to? I’m wondering if his baseline of overwhelm makes real change on this front pretty difficult?
Thank you so much for any insight, advice, thoughts! 💛💛