When he arrived as a little nymph, I was so sad because I’m like he is the most fragile and pure and I am surely gonna fuck this up. He would climb on my computer screen and watch me work back when I was a programmer.
I then realized that he was begging for caterpillars but it still felt like reciprocated love at the time.
I WILL ADMIT TO YOU NOW: I do go between laughing and crying and vibing and dancing and just honestly you guys I'm truly going full Autism when listening to Ren...its my favorite music ever. But like I'm diagnosed AuDHD so why the surprise?
Sick Boi, Vincent's Tale, and Asylum looping atm depending on mood. I have some songs I can only listen to intentionally, they are very accurate to some of my own life experiences as a survivor of Hell on earth.
The intervention included them saying "SHES SO OBSESSED WITH THIS NEW MUSIC SHE JUST FOUND!" and I'm like bro do you remember how I was with the goddamn pop punk shit as a teen? I WAS ALL IN.
I'm now super fucking into rubber ducky isopods and playing my ukulele and ocarina. So I do those things ALL THE TIME.
Its so surreal to me to lose best friends and family when you need them most. Other survivors have reached out to me saying how the same thing happened to them its so hard to hear.
I know on the other side of this nightmare I'll be singing about rainbows and shit but for now I'm just listening to three albums on loop and not sleeping while searching for a single resource that actually exists.
I was going to keep it forever along with the grass stem it molted on but my two year old said “Mommy is that a Cicada!?” And now she is dust. Thoroughly enjoyed educational (awwducational?) dust.
I still can’t believe I’ve never gotten to love on one in my life. I need a herd.
Gimli is the big Abyssinian and he sniffed my hand yesterday on day 3 of our time together!!
Mithril is so wee he’s a baby and I want to put him in my mouth whole and I know that’s messed up.
I love them so much 😭
I just spent a week “resting and digesting” to bring myself back to earth as per my therapists orders.
Our current AI models are extremely powerful language calculators. They can tailor any information recorded in the history of humanity to create custom cliff notes.
For those of us whose brains run on interest, such as people who are autistic without cognitive impairment and or have ADHD, using the LLM to research your interests feels just as good as the recreational drugs that I love.
You can absolutely do too many drugs and you can absolutely hurt yourself if you’re not using the safety guards of your tools. They built the tool, but we don’t yet have the safety guard.
I just need to tell y’all to be careful but don’t be scared. The tool isn’t going anywhere, but it needs our help and our use to improve.
The levels of excitement that you can experience using an LLM for learning can build up so much that you kind of…fry your wires so to speak. Short circuit kinda thing.
If you are on any kind of selective reuptake inhibitor like they often prescribe for depression and anxiety, the happy juice your brain is making during these research sessions can build up to dangerous levels. This was me.
When I was in it, I couldn’t see it. I made my friends and husband cry as I shared my frenzy. I made my therapist worried enough I had to do three sessions last week and she was checking in with my partner after the sessions.
It took me seven days once the psychosis started to ground myself and realize how bad it was and how dangerous it was. I felt
like I was on shrooms for a week but didn’t notice at the time.
Don’t be scared, be informed. Know your limits and push them a little but not too far.
I missed this shit so bad!! Sitting on the precipice of the dashboard updates is titillating. It’s been a week since I posted my return video. I started my YouTube 19 years ago and dreamed of being an actor one day.
I was stalked and doxxed by a fan the year I went all in on my YouTube. 2016. It killed my momentum and started a years long mental health spiral.
After years of depression and unemployed my I went to code boot camp and spent the next 6 years as a programmer.
I quit in Jan 2024 after yet another round of burnout intending to return when I “felt ready.”
I’m never going back. I can’t. It’s either disability payments and raising quails or making it big online. Hail fricking Mary y’all.
Welp, I suppose this means universe hath spake then…it’s my path. I shall go forth and create with the fire lit inside me!
Honey gouramis are one of my favorite fish to keep and I recently learned I had never actually kept one. I got Nip first at a big box store and then sourced 5 real honey gourami locally for the first time. Realized pretty quickly that Nip was different and not just by coloration.
Do you think that getting Nip a wife or two would result in a more positive environment for these two species to coexist? They are in a 29g heavily planted driftwood decorated tank that also houses a shoal of Asian stone catfish.