Feeling kind of lonely
So lately from 4-5 years i just feeling disconnected from everybody around me especially after 2024 and it was the result of 2023 so in 2023 i did not give value to people i should have for example my friend lets call her ishani she was my only frnd who i could confine but i ignored her badly that year hurt her and made new frnds which were those cool wannabee people who drinks smoke and shit like that and was preparing for a competitive paper failed badly though i was in 11 in 2023 dropped the idea of jee in 12th and focused on studies no more frnds with wannabe and felt good that year i was with my kind of people in class but ishani i kind of did not give her importance and then came 2025 she became more frnds with her tution people and today she does not see my msges if she sees if like after 10 days i get it that it could be karma
But its already a year now with this shit and i have lost my spark earlier when i used go to her house i used to get importance but now its the other frnd who gets it i m sidelined i m not same anymore and whenever i truly accept someone as my frnd they dont from that moment
Also at house my presence does not matter much except for studies and strong girl
My cousins i dont matter to them maybe i m not funny and less confident
I was close to one of my cousin lets name her kareena
We did everything together bachpan se but now it doesnt feel same with her i just feel she is damnnn selfish and cant be with sucha a selfish person
Its like when her kaam or her talking stages with some guy she just came to me in my exams and when i asked her the same she didn't have 10 mins and i have her hours
My presence does not matter anymore
And with other cousins so we video call a didi daily me my real sister and she gives all importance to lil sister and sometimes its like i m on call but nobody is talking to me
This too happens when me kareena my lil sister hangout i m just there but not there at the same time
With parents my mummy she just compares me with kareen all the time cuz she has achieved more
Mummy comments on everyting my height face i m just very hurt
I don't even have a single frnd today and cousins which i can count on Plus i m not doing good academic wise lately so that all sucks Also not buying clothes and watches which do give me happiness I don't know what to do anymore its like nobody gets me and i m all alone right now my life has changes 360 it used something alse which i loved and now