u/Quiet-Loquat1

Hi all, sorry first time poster here.

I’ve always struggled with life admin stuff - making appointments, planning journeys, paying bills, etc.

As I’ve gotten older, this has become worse (less energy as I age I guess). This hit breaking point recently when I had a huge asthma attack and ended up in hospital and put under a medically induced coma for 10 days.

Part of the reason behind this? I ran out of asthma preventer medication and just couldn’t get through the steps of taking time off work, driving to and seeing a GP, and getting the medication from a pharmacy. I literally almost died because of this.

The getting of the medication is a small and easy thing by itself, but add this to other things: paying bills, getting the car serviced, grocery shopping, household chores, cooking, study for work, exercise, post office visits, (extended) family responsibilities, etc and I simply can’t keep up.

And theres lots of hidden time costs. Seeing a doctor to get a script might take just 5 mins. But driving from work to my doctors office, waiting in the waiting room, having the appointment, driving to the pharmacy, waiting for the pharmacist, then driving back to the office can easily turn into a 2hr event.

When I was out of hospital and not working whilst recovering at home I decided to dedicated a heap to time to getting on top of all this stuff. I worked on my backlog of chores for 3 days straight, 8hrs a day, and probably only finished 1/3 of the tasks. Of course, too, many of these tasks are repeating and come again anyway.

I do try to streamline as much as possible - automatic bank payments for bills, cooking bulk meals - and that helps a bit but not enough.

I’m back at work now and still so behind on everything. There are unpaid bills that are accruing late fees, and I still haven’t gotten the medication I should have. Just yesterday I realised I’d been driving my car unregistered and uninsured for a couple of days.

I don’t get how other (neurotypical) people do this! It’s like life admin is another full time job! I simply can’t do both my normal job and all this other stuff at the same time. Energy levels and burnout aside, there isn’t enough hours in the day!

Has anyone found a way around this or have any tips?

Many thanks

I’m a salaried employee in a corporate office. Recently in the last 6 months we’ve been asked to fill out time sheets. I’ve been filling them out accurately, meaning if I stay late to finish work on a project I record it. I don’t expect to get paid for the extra hours (and no one has ever asked me to work overtime) but I filled them out because it’s an accurate representation of the time I’ve put into projects.

My boss has recently asked that I go back through months of timesheets and edit them so it doesn’t appear that I’ve worked extra hours. My partner and a coworker have both said this is not only wrong to do but illegal.

Is this true?

Hi all. I’m not asking for help with my mental health, just help in how to better access it.

I have chronic and constant suicidal ideation. I am constantly “making plans” and “fantasising” about taking my own life. I have attempted a few times.

I have sought help for this often but find I run into a wall when speaking to mental health professionals. Eg if I mention I am planning to suicide (eg packing up my belongings, researching methods, etc) then they often call emergency services who take me to hospital. Sometimes this even happens if I talk about a recent attempt.

I understand why they do this. I understand Duty of Care responsibilities and I hate making anyone worried or uncomfortable. However, the issue I face is that when I am sent to hospital they don’t have my history or the context behind my issues and so I am just held there overnight and released the next day. Hospitals (here) treat suicide and suicidality as a temporary crisis situation you just have to “ride out” for a few hours until you feel better. They don’t seem to be equipped to deal with a situation where the suicidality is consistent and chronic.

So I find I’m stuck in a loop: I can’t talk to therapists about my suicidal thoughts and tendencies because they’re obligated to called emergency services and send me to hospital. I can’t talk to the hospital about it because they’re underfunded and under equipped to deal with it and are geared for temporary crisis situations and just want me to be gone as soon as possible.

I’ve tried asking therapists how to talk about suicide eg using “my friend” instead of “I” or making a safety plan, but I find that still doesn’t work. I can avoid the topic of suicide altogether or downplay it but that doesn’t feel right either - like I’m only giving a doctor half the symptoms.

I want to be honest about my state and issues. How can I talk to a therapist about this stuff without them having to engage emergency services?

Many thanks

So I live in a country that has universal healthcare. It’s pretty good generally, except for mental health stuff. This area is completely underfunded and under staffed.

If I’m so distressed that I’m bouncing between suiciding and not there’s nothing I can do about it.

If I call a hotline they might call emergency services on me (as per their duty of care rules). In my area this means the police. The police hate dealing with MH cases and a treat you like a criminal, carting you off to hospital in the back of a paddy wagon (“for their safety” - whether you’re suffering a mild panic attack or a full blown violent psychotic breakdown they treat you the same). At hospital you’ll sit around for 6-12 hrs before seeing an overworked and underpaid mental health nurse who will give you he same hotline number you called and tell you to make an appointment with a shrink before sending you home (where you hopefully don’t have to explain to your neighbours why they just saw you being carted off by police).

If I present at hospital myself the same thing will happen.

Ive seen shrinks and psychiatrists all my adult life and they’ve never helped.

I don’t get what I’m meant to do! Either not talk to anyone whilst I’m suicidal or be “arrested” and treated like shit by the cops. Both feel like terrible options.