u/QuinnHuckleberry

I'm an independent hvac installer and lately my phone is blowing up with homeowners who completely bypass the supply house markup to get their own split system heat pump equipment. A guy literally texted me a link to a costway thundrive 18000 btu 2 zone 20 seer2 mini split this morning and told me he just wants me to show up with a torque wrench and a vacuum pump for my hourly rate. I get why they do it since retail pricing is crazy right now, but I hate touching equipment I didn't source. For the guys who have given in and started installing homeowner-supplied hardware, what is your written policy on callback warranties if the compressor just decides to randomly grenade a month later?

I feel like it's a pretty common experience, I went on a date with someone I met from a dating app or I barely know beforehand, and it becomes clear pretty fast that it wouldn't going anywhere, then for the million times I feel like I wasted my time getting ready and showing up lol

For anyone who's gotten better at doing this, what do you actually look for before agreeing to meet up?

What actually makes you feel okay or confident about it, rather than anxious or dependent in a bad way?

Wondering if looks genuinely change how seriously people take you, or if it makes no difference once you're actually talking to someone.

could be something small and regular or a bigger one-off, whatever you've never second-guessed

ive read that places like banks and car dealerships can play out differently for women, getting talked down to, doubted, quoted worse

and if you dont mind sharing roughly what you do or what industry?

also if you have kids, do they pick up on it at all?

Not talking about anything explicit, just regular relationships. But when you actually break it down, there's almost always some kind of trade happening, even if nobody says it out loud:

• One guy brings stability, she brings excitement
• One brings emotional support, the other brings status or confidence
• One brings financial security, the other brings youth or looks
• One brings ambition and drive, the other brings calm and being easy to be around
• One brings connections/network, the other brings loyalty

Nobody puts this on paper, but it's always quietly in the background under the "we just love each other" thing.

Feel like this question hits different right now than it would've a few years ago. Everything costs more, dating itself is expensive, and "splitting things evenly" isn't always realistic if there's a real income gap.

So would you actually do it, date someone you really like, knowing you'd basically always be the one footing the bill?

And here's the part I'm actually curious about: does it depend on who's making more?

Like, is it a totally normal expectation if it's a man paying for a woman who earns less, but somehow a bigger dealbreaker (or just weirder) if the roles are reversed?

Apparently 2 in 5 Americans in a relationship have kept a financial secret from their partner.
(I can't post the source link due to the filter so pls google it if you wanna know more)

So now I'm curious what this actually looks like in practice for people.

Is it usually small stuff (a hidden Amazon order, lying about a price) or actual big secrets (a credit card they don't know about, debt you've never mentioned)?

And honestly: do you think it counts as "cheating" the way the survey suggests, or is that overdramatic?