r/prettyprivilege

Things like side jobs or gigs. If you aren't model pretty, it's most likely you won't be able to make a living just from being attractive

This message is for pretty girls, smart women, and talented people. Not knowing you’re attractive is DANGEROUS!🚨In equal measure, not knowing your strengths is dangerous too.

The majority of people are miserable. They don’t like themselves. They’re chronically insecure. Prone to jealousy. Social psychology calls it the “crabs in a bucket” mentality or “tall poppy syndrome”. Because society values attractiveness, ambition, & likability, unhealthy people will see you as a threat if you posses any traits that make you desirable.

Being attractive requires self-love. Exercise means you love your body. Cleansing your skin means you care about your health. Having a morning routine means you think you’re worthy of being beautiful. That is confidence. Confidence is desirable.

However, attractiveness means more than having a symmetrical face & a nice body. Having an attractive spirit is even more desirable. Are you kind? Are you principled? Do you have empathy? Patience? Can you handle social pressure with grace?

If you have desirable traits, you must have discernment. Do NOT surround yourself with small minded people. If you can’t escape them for work or family issues, find healthy outlets. If you don’t know who you are, you’ll become consumed with the miseries of other people.

So..I’ve been told that I’m above average, pretty, and naturally pretty. But I have never been in a relationship. I’ve been approached but it’s mostly men that I am not attracted to at all. I have spoke with guys that I am attracted to and they were friendly. Maybe they are just being nice idk. I’ve had weird things that that have happened to me: When I was trying to go home, some guy ran all the way from the gas station so he can get my phone number. Mind you, it’s hot and I’m in my work clothes. Another guy drove all the way around to get my phone number. I was busy organizing items at my job and one of my co workers told me these three teenage boys were singing about me. Calling me: pretty girl with the ponytail and red shirt. I’m like what?? I was giving a customer from drive thru their food. Before I was able to give it to them, another customer, who was cute, was pretending that he was sad that wasn’t his food. Told him I’m sorry and while I was handing the food to the right customer, I look behind me and I see his mirror is towards me and he is staring. He turns it away hard.😭 Then there have been a couple of times where a very attractive man in an important work role(won’t say what) Would stare at me. When I sweep outside and when I’m just walking. So..what do y’all think?
Sorry if the way I typed this was weird. I woke up an hour ago.😭😭

For some background info, when i was young i loved dressing up in skirts, dresses, and doing my hair with my mom. I was like a princess. As i grew up, i fell into this very real phenomenon where you feel like you are tricking the world into thinking you are attractive, and you live in constant fear of being "exposed" when you aren't perfect.

Now, onto the strong reasons why i feel this way.

in the sort of romance life, and day to day life, These men would see me, immediately compliment me, buy me stuff, admire me. Even with just people. People would compliment me, smile at me, willing to become friends with me easy. I learnt that looking presentable, was the “method” in this world ultimately. So id always do it. Like, it was a hobby of mine getting ready, yes. But it more so turned into a chore, keeping this “act” up mentally.

This time, i for real took off all the makeup as it was rest day. I looked at myself in the mirror bare face, and felt like an immediate fraud. Some people claim makeup just compliments the physical architecture you have. But in reality, everyone’s calling people fake fuckers for wearing add ons and shit like that.

Its confusing.* *I keep lashes on me all the time. They can be short, or long. And taking them off made me think about how no one has really seen me without them.

I mean, i really do wear lashes that are very short, so you can still see my actual face. My friends say i look the same, even when im not venting. but its still a constant battle. I feel ugly without them, my friends havent seen me without them except for one friend. and weeks later, she still views me as the same person, and still calls me hot and attractive. But all my friends dont know that i have very low self esteem, and that ive been struggling with my image for months on end now. I havent told anyone, and when i quietly do, just me saying “i feel ugly today.” they hit me with “your so lying, your trying to attention seek arent you?” Ive heard that one to many times. People get dissmissive and say things like, “attractive people cannot get insecure.” Alright. But i feel flawed. My ex said that too me, and i mentally couldnt get over it. Thats when i sorta realized he only got with me cause i ‘looked attractive.’

With the guy that made that comment who ive recently dated, also lowered my esteem somewhat.
it felt like, he viewed me as someone i was not sometimes. And it made this theory of being “pretty = perfect” true, for me.

people very much view me as a perfect image. As a result, i dont view myself as a human who can rest anymore. but someone who has to be prepped up, and viewed by a perfect camera lens just to be valued.

• Does anyone else feel this way? Any advice to my life?

Im 28f and not sure if I am pretty or not. It’s not like I was ever called ugly although I have had a few experiences people say less attractive people have. But I have also had experiences which attracting people have. So I just wanted to know some universal signs that you are attractive which would probably not happen to you if you aren’t attractive.

So on a normal day where I don’t style my hair people will usually ignore me and I’ll blend in perfectly fine, when i usually style my hair many people will glance at me repeatedly. Now I got a haircut recently (a mullet) and I noticed now everyone is looking at me. Is this because they are all judging me or does it mean the cut is nice? The people who look at me are mainly older people, younger people the same age as me pretty much still ignore me. The look older people give me is like a look of disbelief like they’ve never seen a girl with short hair.

I’m just asking as I thought people ignored unattractive individuals as oppose of going out of their way to stare them down.

like weight gain, or stress from jobs? i think i lost a lot lately working here in my company for a year. i wonder if yall have been able to get your spark or beauty back after neglecting yourself for quite some time?

Used to be masculine presenting 250+lbs goth with a shaved head and looked wild. I got to grow up with the safety net of being unfuckable. I lost 130+lbs changed how I looked, my style, my hair, etc. and now I get the privilege of being followed to my car, someone getting verbally upset in public because I wouldn’t talk to them, etc. like can we address how tired I am of people constantly wanting engagement from me? I don’t want to stop putting in the effort I put in for myself but Jesus Christ I didn’t realize how bad my social anxiety was before I had to deal with 2-5 strangers on every God damn errand I run now. I don’t owe anyone a conversation and I never want to be rude but good god I want to be left the hell alone.

Hey people!

If you are reading this, please, do not put a label on people. Just because someone is conventionally attractive, confident doesn’t mean that they are rude.

Yes, I am talking on my own experiences. I am aware that I am a beautiful MAN who do makeup which is understandable (not acceptable) why some people are rude since they might be homophobic..

However, especially woman, when they see someone pretty, they act strangely. I check around, and people who are usually attractive, they are either played by people, or people just want to humble them down.

Please, know that when you are attractive, you don’t care about being this way. You just want to make friends, talk to people just like other people do. People from the first glance assume I am selfish, they give me strange looks. It is so easy to give compliments ( I receive them yes) but people either flirt with me or hate me. 😭

So I’m not trying to come off as arrogant or anything, but I am conventionally attractive. I’ve had guys fly from other states to go on a date with me, dated music producers, been taken on shopping sprees, etc. I’m also a personal trainer in my spare time and I was hired because “there’s going to be a lot of people who sign up because they wanna look like you “
So at my other job it’s pretty clear that the delivery guy likes me. He pays attention to me and not anyone else, I’m not sure if he knows my coworkers names even. My coworker is 50 and obese, and generally really nice. But when she pointed out that the guy liked me, she started making weird comments. My other coworker was like “well (my name) is adorable so that makes sense that he likes her!” And the weird coworker was like “I’m adorable too!” Then another day she was like “well, There’s no pretty privilege at this workplace, unless it comes to (delivery guy).” And she keeps mentioning him, she claims it’s because she doesn’t like that he doesn’t say it hello or make small talk like out of politeness, not because he shows me attention. But I just find it all weird. She’s also said she’s unhappy with her body so that’s part of why I started to think about it. Anyways, I don’t really have anywhere else. I could let these thoughts out, thanks for reading ❤️

This isn’t even really a vent post at all , I just am saying this like it’s a diary or something but I absolutely love my face , I love the way I look and I think I am very beautiful. Hell I am the prettiest girl I know but that’s not really socially acceptable to say and I always kinda mask how pretty I feel , even though I am anorexic and sometimes feel bad about being fat I know I am still pretty so it doesn’t even matter.

I love being hit on often, I love getting free stuff , I love getting the match every single time when I swipe like on a dating app , I love getting job offers on the spot because I am bubbly and pretty. I love how hot the people I date are. I love how my friends are always hyping me up And I know it is arrogant to say , and maybe people will hate on me for this post , I am not saying I am the most beautiful person on earth but I just love being a conventionally attractive girl after I was ugly as a tween , it’s such a refreshing feeling I love it. I also love that I am nice , I never bullied anyone or said a slur and I apologize when I am mean and I always help everyone I can , I am also really smart and good at school , and I love that and I think I love myself

Not so long ago, I started content creation where I would mostly post longform content on YouTube about spirituality and mindset and I have an amazing circle of friends who support me and promote my content to other friends, but one of the instances made me feel unseen, where majority of the girls that received my content through my friend’s promotion, all they’d come up with is my looks, and they only click on the video too look at me and then click off asap when I really need the high audience retention to keep my videos from hurting the algorithm. I wish people could see me beyond my looks and appreciate the effort I put into the videos I make

When I look at people on the street, at work or just out and about and I look at them they instantly look away from me or I'll see them looking at me and then when I look they instantly turn away and it's so frustrating because I want to smile at them or be friendly but I never get that opportunity because they'll just be cold and then they'll be friendly and talkative to other people but when it's me it's almost like I repel them for some reason or they are just awkward to interact with me and it's just makes me feel quite isolated.

How do i get over the fact that i will akways be stared at by men sometimes double my age. It brings me back to my teenage era of being catcalled. Before i understood the privileges i met with the trauma of being lusted. I am in my 20s and it still makes me upset/cringe/uncomfortable. Especially those who keep staring at me and expect back attention from me. One ete contact and they think I'm interested in them. Makes me so uncomfortable in public everytime.

I was intrigued initially that a pretty privilege subreddit existed but some posts make me a little skeptical. For background I have used my looks to make money such as brand ambassador, bottle girl in LA. I’ve finished my education and I work in healthcare now. I get stared at constantly, and told every day to every other day how beautiful I am by men and women of all ages and ethnicities. I asked a male author of the book I was reading to sign it for me and his hand was shaking and he could barely talk to me without stuttering. I do get hate from insecure women and men but all around I have positive experiences. I am highly educated so being attractive has had some downsides while working with other educated men but other than that things are good.

So sometimes I can’t relate to what people some people say in here. I did go through some of the profiles on here and I’m not trying to be disrespectful when I say that some of the issues written on here are not due to pretty punishment. The last three photos I saw of a few OPs were of average to below average women. And I mean objectively average looking women. Some were even extremely overweight.

Like I said not trying to be rude and beauty is subjective but not THAT subjective and some of you guys need to be honest.

I know I'm not delusional, but genuinely why is every girl-friend I make jealous or hates by the end of it? I know its pretty privilege but its bumming me out man. For example

I met one girl who loved my outfits (think whimsy fairy princess) and thought I was gorgeous, by the end of it, because of one day, a few people stopped to take pictures of me (She saw it happen before, it happens all the time) and she was mean mugging me the ENTIRE time and saying how my shoes were scuffed (nope) lipstick on my teeth (nope) hair was too messy (nope) clothes were dirty (nope) and then when we were talking about her boyfriend, she told me she could "LITERALLY NEVER" see me in a relationship.

What???

Other girls have accused me of wanting their boyfriends, being jealous that THEY HAVE BOYFRIENDS, Making their boyfriends be attracted to me???

What??? Are??? You??? Talking??? ABOUT???!!!

My beautiful pretty girls who have FRIENDS, please let me know how you did it?!

This concept got me thinking because I know things like the “halo effect” are constant & can help someone out daily, but I’m curious how often direct pretty privilege plays a role in your life directly aside from the simple “getting treated better” dynamic of the halo effect.

I do think the halo effect helps me daily (like with my job), but in terms of getting free things or services, or where I receive direct aid “seemingly out of nowhere”, it’s probably only once a week (maybe every 2 weeks if I don’t go out much). And 80% of time, it’s a “random act of service” with a man paying for a coffee or a food item (so small) but occasionally it’s bigger (like seat upgrades on a flight or concert, but I don’t do those things often). Im sure if I worked a public facing role it would be more (I work an analytical job and i work remote) so I’m sure it also likely varies by lifestyle.

So it makes me want to hear everyone else’s experiences because I wonder how much it varies.