u/RP_AMRK_1504

I’m from South India and recently visited North India for the first time, specifically Mussoorie and Dehradun. While the scenery was beautiful, I was honestly surprised by some of the things I experienced.

Most of the tourists seemed to be from North India, and many people were speaking very loudly in public places. The driving was what shocked me the most. The road to Mussoorie is steep, winding, and not very wide, yet I saw people driving rashly. Some people were hanging out of sunroofs, and I even saw people sitting on car bumpers while the vehicle was moving.

I also noticed that casual conversations often included a lot of abusive language. In several families, people seemed to address each other using abuses quite casually, which was shocking to me.

Another issue was cleanliness. Many public toilets, including some in otherwise decent restaurants and cafes, were not well maintained. We also experienced catcalling, which was disappointing.

Something else I found frustrating was how little consideration some people showed for others. For example, people would walk right between photographers and those getting their pictures taken without a second thought.

The biggest disappointment was a waterfall we visited. The path down was filled with trash, had a bad smell, and the area around the waterfall was quite dirty. For a place with such natural beauty, it was sad to see so much litter.

Before this trip, I always felt that North India was unfairly stereotyped. However, I witnessed so many instances of poor civic sense that it genuinely affected my experience. I know these issues don't represent everyone, and there are plenty of respectful and responsible people as well, but this was honestly my impression from the trip. I've been meaning to journal my experience about the trip, but whenever I sit down to do it, these are the incidents that I keep remembering lmao

disclaimer: this is not an invitation for men to dm me. I am just ranting.

a few months ago I genuinely thought I would be engaged by now. instead, finding someone for marriage has been one of the most exhausting experiences ever.

either men cannot hold a proper conversation, are creepy (it's straight up disgusting), lie about being practicing, lie about their age, or are not serious and just want to “date first.”

and then there is the judgement. i was born and raised in a city, but my family is originally from a village and we still go there often because my grandparents and relatives live there. the moment some men hear “village,” they start making assumptions and slowly lose interest. one guy was literally turned off because I was not into luxury brands, fancy cafes, or that whole aesthetic lifestyle.

the funny thing is, I genuinely put effort into myself. I take care of how i look, go to the gym, eat well, try to improve myself in deen and duniya, stay disciplined, and avoid haram as much as I can. but somehow not having a perfectly curated instagram life makes people treat you like you are lacking.

my parents keep pushing arranged marriage now and I honestly feel drained. they tell me character matters more than looks, and I agree, but attraction matters too. I cannot imagine being intimate with someone I do not even feel drawn to. that feels unfair to both people.

I really do not know how people are finding good spouses anymore. it is actually crazy out here.