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u/RadicalKitty721

r/GirlDinnerDiaries r/grief r/Anarchism r/ecuador
▲ 167 r/Anarchism

He says he's an anarchist but...

So, hear me out and please know I'm not trying to kink shame or to be judgemental on the choices that people do in bed. With that said, this is what's happening:

I 42F met a man on a dating app (38M) the chat was great, we moved off the app, met in person and went on a fun date.

We share many important things like our personal values, political opinions and societal beliefs, we both say we are anarchists.

But then we are talking about sex, and he mentions he is a Dom and that it's important for him that the person who is with him can fully be a sub and enjoy being cuffed, denied orgasms, become a servant, respond with "yes Sir" and other things that gave me the ick. Obviously this is where for me there was a big disconnect.

I cannot see myself, as an anarchist and an empowered woman getting on my knees in front of this man and accepting to serve him and respond to his every demand with "yes, sir" as if he was above me or something... As a woman of color I can't imagine being handcuffed and denied free movement of my body, and worse off that some dude holds the "power" to tell me if I can or cannot have an orgasm.

This power play in my mind contradicts with the idea of no authority, no subordination, no masters, no gods... It makes me wonder, is he really an anarchist when he needs this hierarchical system to get off sexually?

Thanks for taking the time to read and reflect on this and tell me your thoughts.

I won't be dating this man anymore, but it's something that hasn't left my mind since.

reddit.com
u/RadicalKitty721 — 4 days ago
▲ 669 r/GirlDinnerDiaries

Found our Dad's first daughter through ancestry DNA test

Home made potato wedges

My little sister 32F took and ancestry DNA test and got her results... On the results there was this person who was labeled as possible aunt or half sister 54F

She immediately got in contact to see what could she possibly be for us and turns out she's our dad's first daughter. Our dad passed back in 2012.

The way she tells her story is: her mom was 17 and our dad 18. When they got pregnant her father demanded my dad to convert to their religion (he was a pastor of some sort) and marry the girl. My dad refused. He left.

Her mother was sent to a farm to be hidden from society and deliver her baby in secret.

She escaped and moved to the West Coast of the USA and had my sister there.

Her mother had told her about our dad, sadly she didn't know our dad had left the country so my sister never thought of looking for him outside the USA. So she never found him.

So now, we have a new sister. An adult woman in the West Coast, a mother, a grandmother, but someone who had never experienced sisterhood and now she has us.

I wonder what the future will bring with this new relationship...

u/RadicalKitty721 — 6 days ago
▲ 56 r/GirlDinnerDiaries

Seeing my baby daddy after 12 years of absolute silence

My oldest son is graduating from college this weekend (yay! 🎉 I'm so proud) we live in different countries, I left our country 10 years ago to live in the USA, he stayed there with his Dad. I'm traveling tomorrow to my country for the graduation ceremony, this means I'll have to see this man (42) again after 12 years for which we also have not spoken to, as he decided to go no contact with me (I don't know his reasons)

I can't feel anything other than being nervous and playing in my head every possible scenario of how this is going to go and I HATE overthinking this!

Obviously we are not the same people we were 12 years ago. He knows nothing of what I've been through and I know very little of what my son and people in common have told me.

I want to believe that he is going to be civil and cordial, mature enough to at least greet me with respect. But I'm not sure he will behave like this...

This is why:

A couple years ago he started a tik tok account where his content is basically how him as a 42 year old man goes to the clubs with his 2 sons in their 20s and gets drunk and party the whole night with other 20 years olds. These videos have gotten popular in the city and he is making money out of it.

On one of the videos he addresses being a young single dad and talks about his baby mommas got pregnant and basically takes no responsibility for the abandonment I experienced when he decided to get with our neighbor (14F at the time) and get her pregnant too ... His version of the story sounds like both these girls (I was 17) magically got pregnant and he then became a super single Dad who had both his kids living with him full time (not addressing that the reason why both the other baby momma and I couldn't keep the kids is bc he refused to give us any sort of child support)

The way he dismisses the struggle this other girl and I went through and simplifies the boys having to live with him makes my stomach churn.

This video was made at the rise of his popularity around a year and a half ago, which makes me think he hasn't matured... And maybe he will behave like a manchild when I see him on Friday night. And it disgusts me and it angers me and it frustrates me and I don't know what to do.

I don't know if I should say hi, or ignore him, or what.... And I hate that this idea in my mind is distracting me from the celebration of this amazing achievement of my kiddo.

Dinner is Carbonara

u/RadicalKitty721 — 2 months ago
▲ 1 r/grief

Nights of grief

That doesn't mean you're over him.

But it does mean you're already doing something that once seemed impossible:

you're living, even while your heart is broken.

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u/RadicalKitty721 — 3 months ago