u/RaikkonRDT

No, the first part isn't targeted solely to men. If there are any women here, then you guys can feel free to share your answers too.

There's Gentildonna with a new outfit too, I guess.

Every time I listen to Starting Force, I feel the urge to furiously jerk off because of this goddamn hand wave. Every time I remember it, I get flashes of the lead performer's sultry smile, the way she winks then looks at you, the way her fingers close slowly, the way her body waves alongside her hand, the way all of it combine into a small but extremely erotic move that always has me wanting to jerk off.

Is this it? Is this an evolution of my role as the throat fingerer? Is the mere movement of an Umamusume's fingers enough to turn me on? Hell, it doesn't even have to be a hand wave or throat fingering or anything of that nature. Just mere art focusing solely on an uma's hand (like this piece of art focusing on Mejiro Dober's hand) is enough to turn me on. Hell, I get feral at the sight of an uma's hand.

Anyways, I'm gonna start fantasizing about sucking Bamboo Memory's fingers.

Personally, I'll be going with the Triple Tiara umas (even if R*monu is in there). By the way, for the Triple Crowners, I also would have included fanart with St. Lite in it but I can't find any for some reason.

Art Source:
https://x.com/mokumoku_warabi/status/1763494822026121645
https://x.com/AskaZerosaki/status/1961817805030031717

Seriously, I thought she was a fully covered uma when her official render came out during the 5th anniversary on the JP side of the fandom. But no, I was watching videos of her then the reveal that she's actually pretty lewd eventually got a chokehold on me.

Traditionally, the neck, the back, the shoulders, and the armpits aren't really seen as a sexual body part but Victoire Pisa (and Zephyr and Genesis) is a testament to the fact that you can find any body part attractive if you are degenerate enough and genitals don't turn you on.

I want to lick that back. I want to smell that neck. I want to fuck those armpits. I want to kiss her shoulders. I want to drink her post-race sweat. Of course, in usual fashion, I also want to finger her throat and hear her angelic moans, her cute gagging noises, and watch her drool.

The cherry on top is that she's a very kind person too. Like, imagine if you were her husband/wife and then you come home tired from work. Then you just feel energized again because you get to cuddle with her and have fun with the aforementioned body parts.

Then she just starts teasing you and massaging your head or scratching your hair as you do while she wants to hear about your day at work. Then she just gives you words of affirmation as you keep letting out the stress while kissing her and she comforts you.

(I am so lonely.)

With that, I mean they insert your cock into their shoe/boot/sandal and then use it like some sort of fleshlight.

I do not mean that they wear the shoe and then rub you with it because that's just a footjob with extra layers.

Feel free to answer even if you don't have a dick. I value the opinion of anyone that is in this subreddit. ☝️🐴

1. Cesario - OH YEAH, BABY! THE ONE WHO STARTED THE WHOLE THROAT FINGERING THING (no, seriously, my first ever post about throat fingering had Cesario as the thumbnail or something)! I IMAGINE THAT SEX WITH HER IS MAGNIFICENT AND IT ONLY GETS BETTER WHEN SHE DOES THAT ON/OFF THING OF HERS! LIKE, IMAGINE IF YOU BUSTED INSIDE OF HER AND SHE JUST LOOKED AT YOU WITH A FACE THAT LOOKED LIKE "( ._. )" AND THE LACK OF EXPRESSION JUST MAKES YOU CUM INSIDE OF HER EVEN MORE! GOD, I LOVE CESARIO! DEFINITELY ONE OF MY TOP 10 UMAS! NOT JUST BECAUSE I HAVE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT HER BUT SHE'S ALSO JUST SO CUTE! I MEAN, LOOK AT HER! SHE'S LIKE SPECIAL WEEK BUT FANCIER OR SOMETHING!
2. Buena Vista - I'm gonna be honest here but I think she looks way better than Cesario in terms of character design. It's just that Cesario has more of an appeal to me (no, it's not just sex, FUCK YOU) which is why Buena is only second. I do like the whole childhood best friend thing and she looks very kissable. She probably also has a big ass forehead behind those bangs and I wanna smooch them.
3. Special Week - Funnily enough, when I first started this franchise, I didn't really think there was anything SPECIAL about Spe-chan. You can blame Season 1's rather lackluster portrayal of her for that. Though, luckily, thanks to memes, agendaposting, and actually getting past Season 1, I have grown to love the fat fuck. Hell, I'm actually annoyed that she hasn't come home yet (and that applies to Mejiro McQueen too).
4. Maruzensky - Ok, so while I do like Maruzensky, I think that fit is ass. I don't know if it's because of the color combination but it genuinely hurts my eyes to look at it. That's why I prefer her when she's in the swimsuit alt (aside from the fact that it's sexy as fuck to look at, of course). Honestly, I think out of everyone here, I think she has the outfit that I like the least. Clothing aside, however, my most favorite aspect of her is her great taste in cars with my personal favorite Lamborghini being the Diablo rather than the Countach (though, I lean more towards Ferrari when it comes to Italian cars despite their gatekeepy bullshit).
5. Daring Tact - Now, we are entering unfamiliar territory since I am not all that familiar with Tact and the others after her. I think she has the prettiest design in the entire Agemasen family, however. I like how fluffy she looks and how her clothes give her a cloud-like sort of vibe to her.
6. Epiphaneia - Again, I am not all that familiar with Epiphaneia and the only things I've seen her in so far were Voltage's live concert and the event on JP involving her and her parents (Cesario and Kris S). I do like her voice and the shonen protagonist vibe she gives off (more of a harem protagonist, though).
7. Symboli Kris S - I have no idea what to feel about her since the only thing I have seen her in so far is that animation with Gimlet. She has a nice tummy, however. Let me lick her tummy. Please ignore that Cesario is the one at the top and Kris S is at the bottom. This is not me ranking her low out of spite. This is merely a coincidence, people.

Just so the mods don't fucking kill me: Cinderella Gray.

THINK ABOUT IT! WHY DO YOU GUYS THINK SHE'S CALLED TANINO GIMLET? WELL, IT'S BECAUSE HER BREAST MILK IS ALCOHOLIC AND EXCESSIVE CONSUMPTION OF IT WILL MAKE YOU DRUNK AND ALL THAT!

IT MAKES HER LIVE UP TO HER NAME! HELL, I LIKE TO THINK THAT SHE PASSED THIS TRAIT ONTO VODKA TOO BUT THAT'S GOING TO BE A TOPIC FOR ANOTHER POST! I DON'T EVEN CARE IF GIMLET IS B77!

HELL, MEDIUM BREASTS ARE HOT AND I WILL DIE ON THAT HILL! FORGET SUPER CREEK AND GOO GOO BABIES! I WANNA GET DRUNK WHILE TANINO GIMLET BREASTFEEDS ME AND GIVES ME A HANDJOB!

GOD, JUST LOOK AT THAT WORK OF ART! LOOK AT HOW SHE HIGHLIGHTS HER BREASTS BY CROSSING HER ARMS! LOOK AT THE WAY THAT TANK TOP REVEALS THE SHAPE OF HER LEFT BOOB AND HER CLEAVAGE!

LOOK AT HER HAND AND THE EROTIC WAY HER FINGERS ARE BENT! ALL OF THAT COMBINED WITH A SULTRY SMILE THAT MAKES ME WANT TO FINGER HER THROAT! WAIT, NO, SHE CAN FINGER MY THROAT INSTEAD!

GIVE ME THE TANINO MILK BECAUSE I NEED IT! AND I DESPERATELY NEED HER TO FINGER MY THROAT! GOD, I WANT TO BE DOMINATED BY HER SO BAD! MOMMY! MOMMY! MOMMY! MOMMY! MOMMY!

MY FUCKING GOD!

JUST LOOK AT HOW EROTIC HER ENTIRE POSE IS IN THIS RENDER COMPARED TO HER DEFAULT OUTFIT WHERE SHE LOOKS MORE COMPETITIVE AND BOYISH! HERE, HOWEVER, HER SEXINESS AND HER FEMININITY IS ON FULL DISPLAY!

JUST LOOK AT THE WAY SHE SHOWS OFF THAT DELICIOUS TUMMY IN A WAY THAT MAKES ME WANT TO LICK HER NAVEL! LOOK AT THAT WHALE TAIL AND HOW LOW IT SINKS AND MAKES YOUR IMAGINATION RUN WILD WITH SINFUL THOUGHTS!

AND LOOK AT THOSE LEGS! SHE ALREADY SHOWS THEM ON HER DEFAULT OUTFIT BUT IT'S SO MUCH SEXIER WHEN SHE FLAUNTS THEM CONFIDENTLY! ALMOST LIKE SHE WORE THOSE SKIMPY SHORTS TO DIRECT YOUR ATTENTION TO HER LEGS!

BUT THAT'S NOT ALL! I MEAN LOOK AT THAT TOP! THE WAY IT SHOWS OFF HER GODDAMN ARMPITS AND DOESN'T COVER HER AS MUCH! YOU REALIZE JUST HOW SUFFICIENT HER BREASTS ARE WHEN HER DEFAULT OUTFIT DOESN'T COVER IT!

GOD, I FUCKING LOVE THIS TOMBOY GYARU! I'LL ALWAYS LOVE THIS TRYHARD! I'LL ALWAYS THIRST OVER THIS MORALITY-OBSESSED TEACHER'S PET FOR SHE'S MY FIRST ACTUAL FAVORITE (sorry, Nakayama Festa, you are my second)!

FINALLY, LOOK AT THAT COCKY SMIRK! LOOK AT THAT TEASING WINK! THAT'S THE FACE OF SOMEONE WHO IS BEGGING TO GET THEIR THROAT FINGERED! THAT'S THE FACE OF SOMEONE WHO WANTS THEIR UVULA PLEASURED! THAT'S THE FACE OF SOMEONE WHO WANTS THEIR MOUTH EDGED AND THEN THEY START DRIPPING WITH SALIVA LIKE IT'S SOME FORM OF ORAL SQUIRTING! GOD, I WANT TO FINGER BAMBOO MEMORY'S THROAT ALL NIGHT! I WANNA DO IT WHILE SHE'S CUFFED TO THE BED AND SHE STARTS MOANING IN THE MOST SINFUL MANNER POSSIBLE THAT IT WOULD TAINT HER REPUTATION AS THE DEMON CHAIRMAN OF THE PUBLIC MORALS COMMITTEE!

From what I can tell, you guys just seem more active than the other one (maybe because of having more members) but there doesn't seem to be a difference other than that.

Art Source: Cygames

1. Nakayama Festa - AHHHHHH FESTA~ 😩😩😩 AHHHHHH FUCK FESTA~ 😫😫😫 GOD, IMAGINE HOW SHE SMELLS SINCE SHE'S PROBABLY TOO BROKE TO AFFORD A SHOWER OR SOMETHING! MAN, I'D TAKE HER CLOTHES AND SNIFF THEM ALL DAY JUST SO I COULD PERMANENTLY IMPRINT HER SCENT INTO MY NOSE! HELL, I COULD JUST EMBRACE HER BARE BODY NO MATTER HOW FILTHY AND SWEATY IT IS BECAUSE THAT ONLY TURNS ME ON MORE! I ALSO WANNA KNOW HOW HER FEET TASTE LIKE AFTER THEY'VE BEEN IN THOSE BUM ASS LOOKING SNEAKERS FOR HOURS! HORNY SHIT ASIDE, WHY THE FUCK IS SHE SO HANDSOME?! HELLO?! THAT CHRISTMAS ALT GENUINELY BROKE THE RULES OF BIOLOGY BECAUSE I BECAME PREGNANT WITH OUR CHILDREN! SHE ALSO WEARS A RED DRESS ON ONE OF THE ANNIVERSARY FANART AND IT'S LIKE AN ANGEL DESCENDED FROM HEAVEN! SHE ALSO COMES OFF AS THE TYPE TO LOOK NONCHALANT BUT SHE SECRETLY LIKES GETTING HER BACK BLOWN DURING UMAPYOI! DO YOU ALSO SEE HOW THOSE JEANS HUG HER HIPS AND HER LEGS?! GOD, THE ONLY THINGS SEXIER THAN THAT ARE HER IN THAT RED DRESS, HER OLD OUTFIT, AND HER SWIMSUIT IN ONE OF HER SSR CARDS! CYGAMES, GIVE ME A SWIMSUIT ALT FOR NAKAYAMA FESTA! PLEASE, CYGAMES, I NEED TO SEE THOSE THIGHS AFTER YOU'VE ALREADY SCRAPPED HER OLD OUTFIT! (Like and share if the real life Nakayama Festa's story made you cry. I don't even know if they accept visitors but I do hope to visit the real Festa someday. Hell, I plan to visit the remaining Gold Clan horses aside from Dream Journey for obvious reasons.)
2. Lucky Lilac - I love her because of many things such as having blunt/straight bangs like Suzuka, Desire, and Grass who I also love. I also love the gap moe between her elegant lady behavior and the Gold genes that come out occasionally while being accompanied by that goofy ass Kansai rage. I also love that one part in her story where she mimics Copano Rickey, I think. It was adorable and hilarious (wait a fucking minute) seeing her go from cutesy to country girl. (SHE ALSO SOMEHOW MANAGES TO BE A PRECIOUS BEAN WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY HAVING NICE TITS, HOLY SHIT!)
3. Dream Journey - I was totally down bad for her early on when I first started playing the game because of the sexy librarian vibe that she gave off. I have also, quite frankly, never been the same ever since realizing that you can actually see her thighs underneath that dress and that is so hot. Did I also mention that I find her casual outfit to be way sexier than her racing outfit? (GOD, SHE'S SO TINY YET THE THOUGHT OF GETTING DOMINATED BY HER IS SO HOT!)
4. Gold Ship - When I first started playing, I was drawn to Gold Ship because of how goofy she was and I enjoyed the memes that she spawned. Hell, I think Gold Ship was the only character that I knew prior to knowing anything about the game and was followed by Agnes Tachyon who actually got me into playing it. Though, I never really understood why people thought she was attractive. (UNTIL I SAW HER ALT SKINS, THAT IS! LET THOSE THIGHS SANDWICH ME!)
5. Stay Gold - For the love of me, I still can't get used to her actual voice because that was far from anything I imagined when I first saw her. Hell, I still default to seeing her as a man purely because of the single dad vibes and all the jokes. (ALSO, FOLLOW JOHNHOLLOW ON TWITTER FOR PEAK STAY GOLD CONTENT! FUCK YEAH, STAY GOLD UMAPYOI!)
6. Orfevre - I am not going to lie, I didn't expect Orfevre to be this low in terms of ranking since I also had a thing for her early on just like with Dream Journey. Though, I guess I just ended up liking all the other Gold members much better than her. This doesn't mean she is bad, though, and I don't dislike any of the Gold members. (SHE'S ALSO DEFINITELY A BOTTOM IN BED AND YOU ARE WRONG IF YOU DISAGREE!)
7. Fenomeno _ I'm gonna admit that it actually took a while for me to like Fenomeno since I only saw her as the Jotaro uma. Although, the amount of Menoposting that I have encountered in the past few months has definitely helped in making her grow on me and the fact that she's the most normal of the Golds appealed to me. (I HAVE NOTHING SEXUAL TO SAY ABOUT HER! I JUST WANT TO SAY THAT SHE HAS A VERY SMOOCHABLE FOREHEAD!)
8. Marche Lorraine - Ok, I get that I have a thing for fat tits and all that but I just don't really know anything about Marche Lorraine. She is adorable, however, and that thing with the puppet is very precious... and erotic thanks to this fuckass subreddit. Again, I would like to clarify that I don't dislike any of the Gold members and Lorraine being this low doesn't mean I hate her. She is not Mejiro Ramonu and I love all the Gold clan members. (ANYWAYS, FAT TITS AND PUPPET BLOWIES! FUCK YEAH!)