u/Rare-Explanation-886

I have been in psychoanalysis for four years and three months and I wanted to explain some of my progress and some of my frustrates. I have been doing therapy two times a week for the last four years and three months. I’ve noticed a lot of improvement with my ability to self regulate and become indifferent with situations out of my control much quicker I’ve noticed that I gravitate to people that are more stable and more healthy. I’ve also noticed that I have been able to lift a lot of of my traumas for example, I left school with no qualifications and after two years in in therapy, I’ve been able to start a law degree at a good university which I’m now doing. I’ve been able to move past a lot of my traumas in early childhood and im a lot more comfortable with who I am. My self-esteem and confidence is dramatically improved. However, this has came with a lot of pain throughout the entirety of the four years I’ve been in therapy. I have experience levels of pain that I didn’t know possible before entering psychoanalysis, there have been moments throughout these years where I’ve had extreme difficulty coping, where healing past traumas and sitting through and talking about them has been excruciating, and it lasted for many months on end. To the point where I’ve been depressed in my bed for weeks, suffering from intense anxiety for long periods of time and unconsciously leaking on people around me.

I’m essentially making this post because I found myself in a situation recently where I met someone I liked it didn’t work out for one reason or another, but it felt as though my attachment issues and abandonment issues and my fears of rejection were dialed up to 10 and it was very difficult to manage that situation. Psychoanalysis is maddening in a sense that when you feel emotions, you feel them to their extremities and such that when you eventually finish your treatment things should be a lot more easy to handle and cope with arising situations, it felt as though I was thrown back to four years prior, it goes to show that this type of therapy is really a long form and it doesn’t take you away from your actual issues, but only makes them more clearer to you.

However, despite this difficulty I’ve had of recent, most of the issues, and most of the friction I felt in my life has definitely subsided almost to the point where I thought that I didn’t need to be in a analysis anymore until this situation arose. The old feelings and pain I had from four years ago during my early session in analysis came flooding back and they were extremely difficult to navigate. But they have calmed in record time! Which shows progress.

If anyone is thinking about psychoanalysis expect to be in a lot of discomfort for a long time but eventually, it will become easier to navigate and have better understanding of yourself and the relationships you want to have.

I have been in psychoanalysis for four years and three months and I wanted to explain some of my progress and some of my frustrates. I have been doing therapy two times a week for the last four years and three months. I’ve noticed a lot of improvement with my ability to self regulate and become indifferent with situations out of my control much quicker I’ve noticed that I gravitate to people that are more stable and more healthy. I’ve also noticed that I have been able to lift a lot of of my traumas for example, I left school with no qualifications and after two years in in therapy, I’ve been able to start a law degree at a good university which I’m now doing. I’ve been able to move past a lot of my traumas in early childhood and im a lot more comfortable with who I am. My self-esteem and confidence is dramatically improved. However, this has came with a lot of pain throughout the entirety of the four years I’ve been in therapy. I have experience levels of pain that I didn’t know possible before entering psychoanalysis, there have been moments throughout these years where I’ve had extreme difficulty coping, where healing past traumas and sitting through and talking about them has been excruciating, and it lasted for many months on end. To the point where I’ve been depressed in my bed for weeks, suffering from intense anxiety for long periods of time and unconsciously leaking on people around me.

I’m essentially making this post because I found myself in a situation recently where I met someone I liked it didn’t work out for one reason or another, but it felt as though my attachment issues and abandonment issues and my fears of rejection were dialed up to 10 and it was very difficult to manage that situation. Psychoanalysis is maddening in a sense that when you feel emotions, you feel them to their extremities and such that when you eventually finish your treatment things should be a lot more easy to handle and cope with arising situations, it felt as though I was thrown back to four years prior, it goes to show that this type of therapy is really a long form and it doesn’t take you away from your actual issues, but only makes them more clearer to you.

However, despite this difficulty I’ve had of recent, most of the issues, and most of the friction I felt in my life has definitely subsided almost to the point where I thought that I didn’t need to be in a analysis anymore until this situation arose. The old feelings and pain I had from four years ago during my early session in analysis came flooding back and they were extremely difficult to navigate. But they have calmed in record time! Which shows progress.

If anyone is thinking about psychoanalysis expect to be in a lot of discomfort for a long time but eventually, it will become easier to navigate and have better understanding of yourself and the relationships you want to have.

I’ve been in therapy for four years and now that I’ve been able to heal from a lot of my past traumas for example, my anxious attachment, getting into relationships or even talking to new people is a struggle for me because now I’m unable to accept toxicity. It’s like I instantly rejected it and or toxic people instantly reject me. I’m 26 and I realize that most people my age haven’t done the work that I’ve done so it has become incredibly difficult to find potential partners, I met a girl recently that I really liked only to find out very soon that she had a lot of past trauma and relationship issues (which are not her fault), but this significantly put a spanner in our blossoming relationship. My therapist says that because of this trauma that has been worked through I will be able to see the person I’m supposed to be with, however I fear that it’s gonna take a while because a lot of people have not worked through their own. Which has proven very frustrating for me. Does anyone have any solace that they can provide me in terms of finding a someone or even friends that have worked through their issues and have entered into a more healed space in their life?

Hey guys I wanted to share something that happened recently in my life and how it has cemented a different reality to life (I knew people were like this but had yet to experience it)

I met a girl recently and we really liked each other, it felt like we be together for a long time. She pursued me and when I accepted that I liked her (really liked her) and let her in she bolted. After some time and thinking about about her past and how she grew up, as well as talking about it therapy which I have been going to for years, I realized that it had nothing to do with me but rather a trauma response, she was ultimately scared of intimacy and the power we both had over each others feelings and were we might have been left feeling if we had allowed the relationship to blossom. Which is albeit terrifying in and of itself. At the time it was devastating and it took me a while to get over and I wanted to blame everything on her, but I realized that it’s no one’s fault that they were subjected to traumatic experiences (however it becomes their responsibility to heal them) but it was just a really shit situation and shit timing. I don’t dislike her, it’s just a cruel awakening of how deeply humans are able to feel and how it can affect and impact new things from growing.

It’s made me realize just how little control you have when you’re first getting to know someone, and rejection may not always be about you.