u/Rare-Perception-9474

My middle daughter and SIL have little contact with me or his parents. When we talk it seems fine but I am always the one who reaches out! For the 3 years my husband/her dad was sick she never called once to check on him. He passed and she’s never called to check on me. My question is how do I handle the relationship? When we’re together it’s good but the long spans of time in between are confusing and painful! I call….she doesn’t call back. I text… she doesn’t text back. My other 2 children I talk to everyday or every other day. If she doesn’t want to have a relationship then just cut the ties! How have others handled inheritance? It feels like manipulation! I also think she Wiccan. Any suggestions would be helpful!

I have been very generous with my 3 kids. Helped with college, down payment on houses, weddings, new roofs, bailed them when they over spent on credit cards. My parents gave me money that had be paid back or was conditional. Never just a free gift. I gave freely to my kids and expected nothing in return. I’m a recent widow and moved 6 months ago to be closer to my kids so they “can help me out”. Recently I was taking 2 kids and one of their spouses out for lunch. I asked one couple if they wanted to come to my house first and we could ride together. The response was “ no you might ask me to do something” 😳 I had ask one the kids I was taking out to lunch to hang 4 curtain rods. I had everything away from the windows and marked where I wanted them place, all they had to do was drill the holes. Then on a separate occasion while one of the kids was here doing a job they volunteered to do I mentioned that when they do work for me I will pay them a wage. I was told they didn’t want a second job and would only be doing the task they were doing that day and no more. I was offended. Mother’s Day I asked for some jobs to be done in place of a gift. Hanging pictures, put up a tv, things that needed 2 people to do or someone stronger than me to do it.
I am renovating the house. Sanding, painting, walls, trim and doors. Today I paid a friend of my kids to help me hang a tv on the wall and move a heavy bed into the recently renovated room. He didn’t want paid but I did pay him for his work.
I’ve decided no more free money for the kids. I don’t know how to feel about my kids lack of willingness to help me at a time when I’ve just moved and am a recent widow. AITAH!!! Does anyone else have ungrateful, spoiled, selfish, bratty adult children?

I bought 1950 ranch house that needs a lot of updates. It needs a new roof, insulation, electrical updates with more outlets in each room. Should I have insulation blown into the walls and attic or insult the basement ceiling or both. The basement is not finished. I need to paint each room so I want to have the updates before I paint.