u/Rare_Comment_4089

Hi everyone, I hope whoever reads this can either relate to it and share their experience and how they navigated this feeling and over came it. Or, I hope someone who’s been secure can offer productive advice not just for me but for anyone else feeling similar as well. Recently I’ve started a new relationship. One that is truly different. I feel seen, heard, and valued as an individual for once. It’s with someone I’ve known for a long time but we lost touch and reconnected earlier this year (2026). She’s honestly become my closest friend and an amazing partner. I always thought highly of her when we were in college and even now I think she’s an incredible person. I’m very lucky and grateful she’s chosen me to be her boyfriend and for her to call me her partner I feel very honored. Yet, it’s so intimidating because it’s the first truly healthy relationship I’ve been that my anxious attachment style has been popping up more. Comparing myself to past people she didn’t even date, trying to find flaws in what I say or do, because I feel like an incoherent mess because of my anxiety. I feel like weight holding down an amazing person. I’ve expressed this to her and she says she still loves me and has no intention of leaving. Yet I feel that’s too good to be true. I fear she will and I fear she’ll think about it more and decide that I am not a great partner like she thinks I am. But these are all hypotheticals in my head, hypotheticals that she’s never once said or even shown to actually consider. So, I write this hoping that someone who’s experienced this or is experiencing this can offer advice for me to help navigate this anxiety and to help me just focus on being in the present and how to remain in the present without spiraling about hypotheticals or shoulda, woulda, or could’ve. Any productive advice would be appreciated and I hope anyone who’s feeling the same can take solace in knowing they’re not the only one, and I hope the best for you. Thank you for taking the time to read this, whomever it is.

Hi everyone, I hope whoever reads this can either relate to it and share their experience and how they navigated this feeling and over came it. Or, I hope someone who’s been secure can offer productive advice not just for me but for anyone else feeling similar as well. Recently I’ve started a new relationship. One that is truly different. I feel seen, heard, and valued as an individual for once. It’s with someone I’ve known for a long time but we lost touch and reconnected earlier this year (2026). She’s honestly become my closest friend and an amazing partner. I always thought highly of her when we were in college and even now I think she’s an incredible person. I’m very lucky and grateful she’s chosen me to be her boyfriend and for her to call me her partner I feel very honored. Yet, it’s so intimidating because it’s the first truly healthy relationship I’ve been that my anxious attachment style has been popping up more. Comparing myself to past people she didn’t even date, trying to find flaws in what I say or do, because I feel like an incoherent mess because of my anxiety. I feel like weight holding down an amazing person. I’ve expressed this to her and she says she still loves me and has no intention of leaving. Yet I feel that’s too good to be true. I fear she will and I fear she’ll think about it more and decide that I am not a great partner like she thinks I am. But these are all hypotheticals in my head, hypotheticals that she’s never once said or even shown to actually consider. So, I write this hoping that someone who’s experienced this or is experiencing this can offer advice for me to help navigate this anxiety and to help me just focus on being in the present and how to remain in the present without spiraling about hypotheticals or shoulda, woulda, or could’ve. Any productive advice would be appreciated and I hope anyone who’s feeling the same can take solace in knowing they’re not the only one, and I hope the best for you. Thank you for taking the time to read this, whomever it is.

Hi everyone, hoping for some honest and productive advice with this post. My gf and I have been dating since February of this year (2026) but we’ve known of each other since 2019 we went to college together. We graduated and then reconnected. I’m not confident in a lot of things in life, I’m not confident in the image of myself, but I am confident that I love this woman with all my heart. I’ve always found her attractive since college and when we ended being in the same major and got to know each other a bit more I knew she would have a place in my heart. But time passed we lost touch but we reconnected as I mentioned earlier. And we’re dating, I can’t express how grateful I am to have her as a partner and how I truly feel like the luckiest person to exist because she chooses to be with me. However, as I said I’m not confident with the image of myself, I’m constantly finding faults as to what I’m doing wrong or have done wrong in the past. I’m aware I’m an anxious attachment style and that stems from being raised by a narcissistic dad. As do a lot of insecurity issues, I’m aware but I struggle to combat them and to push past them. My gf has told me she’s not going anywhere and that my feelings I have for her, she feels the exact same. But I’m always afraid I’m messing up or I’m not enough for her because of actions that have happened or ones that I make up hypothetically in my head. I’m tired of feelings this way, I’m tired of feeling like the weight that’s bringing this relationship down. She says I’m not and I believe her but I feel I am. So if anyone has any advice on how to overcome and navigate these feelings I’d greatly appreciate the feedback back. Please let me know if what I said made no sense as well. I’d be happy to clarify any confusion. Thank you all and as my therapist says remember to be kind to yourself. (Easier said then done, but hopefully it resonates with anyone who reads this)