u/Ready_Swim7697

I watch a family member’s toddler pretty regularly, and he REALLY struggles when I watch him. He’s 3, so I understand that he’s a toddler and has big emotions and is testing boundaries, but I feel like he is just something else. He has very big emotions and screams a lot if he’s not in control of things, so I try to hold some firm boundaries as I’ve found that it makes the rest of the time I’m with him go more smoothly when I watch him.

For example, if he screams and throws a tantrum if I pause his show, then I shrug and say “we don’t scream when we want something, so we’re just gonna turn the TV off”. If I make his lunch (and yes I ask beforehand what he wants, so I know I’m making something he likes), and he gets upset and says he doesn’t want it anymore, I tell him that’s what he gets for lunch and that I’m not making something else. I will say, sometimes I get pretty impatient with him if he’s not listening or is having a huge reaction to something. I never yell, but I’m not the type to bribe a toddler to do something. If I can tell he’s purposely trying to do something to get his way, then I definitely get impatient.

The only thing that makes me actually upset is when he doesn’t listen or screams to get his way, OR kicks/hits his brother. I never yell at him, but if he starts screaming out of nowhere or hits his brother, I pull him aside and say, “hey absolutely not! We do NOT hit.” Or, “we do not scream to get what we want. Can you try again and ask nicely?”. One time he just walked up to his brother and put his hands around his neck to be funny and I got so upset. I never yelled but spoke very firmly.

I’m not trying to parent him or anything, but if I’m watching him there are certain things I don’t tolerate. When he’s with his parents, if he screams enough he’ll get what he wants, but I don’t cave when he does that with me and I think it stresses him out because he doesn’t get the reaction he wants.

Am I being too strict with him/trying to parent him? Is this why he struggles so much with me? What can I do to give him a better experience when I watch him?

Let’s call my SIL Jane. Okay, for context my in laws have a weekly Sunday dinner. My in laws are the types of people to just be on their phones and chill on Sundays and are quiet people in general. I like to chat, and I usually try to chat with Jane. She’s made comments to me about one of our other SILs that she feels like has never made an effort with her, so whenever I see her I always try to make an effort to make conversation with her and chat with her.

The thing is, though, is that she comes off super cold to me. The only time she can talk for a long time is if she’s talking about herself. Our conversations consist of me asking her things about her week, and she talks about herself at length. She NEVER asks me a single thing about myself, so I’ll just try to throw in something here and there so it doesn’t come off like I’m just interrogating her, hut if I do talk to her about anything not related to herself she looks like she’s zoning me out and will sometimes walk into one of the other rooms with her kid while I’m mid sentence. Then she comes back and says something like “sorry keep going”, but it just makes me feel so awkward to pick up and finish my thought. It’s either that or she’ll just blankly nod and say “uh huh. uh huh”.

Literally what do I do?? I honestly have gotten to the point where I hate talking with her, but she’s so gossipy and judge mental that I know if I were to stop talking to her on Sundays, she’ll say that I put in no effort to talk with her just like she says about our other SIL.

I posted a few weeks ago about this, but could just really use some more insight. My husband is working through a current struggle with porn, and I can’t help but feel so terrified for our future. We’re talking about when we want to start a family and the thought of porn possibly being a factor in chapters of our life where I’m pregnant, postpartum, etc., adds such a heaviness to thoughts of the future.

I love my husband, and we’re both trying to work through this together. However, I can’t help but feel so weighed down by this. If there are any other wives whose husbands struggle with porn, do you have any advice? What has helped you choose to stay (or not stay)?

Would just love any advice.

TLDR; my husband confessed to me that he had a slip up with pornography a couple times in the last few weeks. We are currently working though it right now and he’s doing all the right things, I just have no idea how to build back up to being intimate with him and would love some advice.

I wanted to share in this thread because I want thoughts from members who share the same gospel rooted beliefs about pornography. I feel like if I was to share this anywhere else, I’d be told to get over myself and that pornography is fine.

Anyways, I’d like to give some context. I have been married for a little over a year. My husband and I have been together for 2.5 years total. When my husband and I first started dating, he was completely open with me about his past and current struggles with pornography. He was going to the men’s group, therapy, and also had a personal plan set in place that he was very proactive with. He told me that he wanted to be honest about the fact that he still struggled, but was very optimistic that this wouldn’t be a problem in his life much longer.

During the time we dated, he’d had a few slip ups. I was always devastated, but was always thankful that he was so open with me about it. During the time that we were dating I was *very* prayerful, and I always felt reassured from the spirit that everything he was saying was truthful, and that I could move forward in peace and continue progressing in our relationship.

By the time we got married, there hadn’t been any slip ups for about 6 months. Fast forward to now, we’ve been married for a little over a year, so it’s been about 1.5 years since his last slip up. Unfortunately, last week he confessed to me that he slipped up a couple times about 2 weeks ago and was waiting to tell me. I was absolutely heartbroken. Discussing this in marriage hurts so much more deeply, because when we were dating we hadn’t been intimate. I’ll skip a lot of the details about my reaction, but I was shattered. I was telling maybe we should separate for a bit, and that there is ZERO tolerance for pornography in our marriage.

After lots of prayers and lots of pondering, I decided that I didn’t want to separate. I felt the spirit very strongly as I navigated forward, and felt that we’d be okay. We’ve had many long deep talks, he’s contacted our bishop for us to meet with him, and he’s reconstructed a new action plan and has given me all the details about how he’s going to be much more intentional with his plan.

I have faith and hope about moving forward. I love him so much, and I’m so thankful that he’s been so honest with me. I just don’t know how to get back to where we were before in terms of intimacy. I can’t even kiss him right now. He’s been very respectful of my needs and my timing, and although I am craving to connect with him in that way, I just feel like I can’t get there emotionally right now.

I would love any thoughts or advice from anybody who has had any experience with this.

I weigh 300 and my spouse weighs 310. Are we too big for the paddle boats?