I don’t know if it happens to you guys, but every time I speak in a social or work setting, I feel that some part of me is holding back, like I don’t project my voice fully. And it’s not a confidence or bravery issue since I am completely okay speaking up and disagreeing with senior people at work. So if I want to speak I will speak but my voice comes out soft and shattered, as if I am afraid of something. Does any one of you feel that and what do you recommend to overcome it?

When I say something like "this meme is how I feel", she'll often say "no me" this makes me feel invalidated and disregarded but I don't really have the knowledge or words to properly convey how. It feels to me like she's pushing my emotions aside and putting hers to the front instead and hurts when she does it. How can I communicate this effectively?

I don’t if this makes sense or not but I feel sometimes that my face/body/voice doesn’t express anything as I do it in my head.

I feel there’s a significant gap between the two and sometimes that creates a gap between how confident I feel and how confident I look.

Can someone help me understand how to fill this gap?

We’ve been struggling to communicate with our deskless employees. Emails often get ignored and group chats can get messy. Last month, a shift changing announcement got lost and several people showed up at the wrong time.We’ve noticed missed shifts, late responses and general confusions, which made us realize that just sending information isn’t enough. We want a simple, reliable way to make sure everyone updated, no matter where they are or what role they have. We’re exploring different approaches to make communication simpler and more reliable. Some companies uses centralized platforms and mobile apps to share updates, track engagement and ensure everyone sees important messages.

Has anyone tried strategies like this? What challenges did you face while using this? Any practical tips or lessons learned would be really helpful.

Hey guys,
I want to get better at communication in interviews so I started giving interview to chatgpt
( he know me well )

i have given many real interview & found while my engineering skills aren't bad but my communcation skills sucks.

here is my voice chat with gpt :
Can you tell me what i can do better

#############################################

Introduction

Interviewer: Tell me about yourself.

Me:
Hi everyone, I am Manas Anand. I have been backend engineer at Raffles.ai for past two years, mostly working with AI backend system. I have architected microservices that handles real-time AI inference, storing data in PostgreSQL database for user state, and pushing multiple changes to front-end. My strengths are in optimizing for scale, asynchronous pipeline, and collaborating across the stack. Apart from academics, on weekends I really enjoy playing guitar and sometimes football.

Feedback

Rating: 8/10

Improvements

• Say “AI inference” instead of “AI interference”
• Maintain consistent grammar:
  • “microservices that handle”
  • “backend engineer at Raffles.ai for the past two years”
• Strong structure and confidence overall

DRY Principle

Question

Explain DRY with a practical example.

My Answer

DRY stands for Don’t Repeat Yourself. In our organization, we were using OCR processing heavily across multiple pages. Instead of rewriting the OCR logic every time, we made a modular OCR function that could be reused in different places.

Now multiple services can call the same OCR pipeline, which improved readability, maintainability, and centralized the business logic.

Feedback

Rating: 7/10

Improvements

• End with measurable impact
• Example:
  • “This reduced duplicate logic and simplified maintenance.”

YAGNI Principle

Question

Explain YAGNI with a practical example.

My Answer

YAGNI stands for “You Aren’t Gonna Need It.” It prevents over-engineering for scale that may never happen.

In our organization, we needed an AI agent for a specific workflow. Some engineers suggested creating multiple sub-agents, but the use case was not complex enough.

I benchmarked a single well-prompted agent with structured outputs, and it performed well enough. This reduced complexity, simplified logging, and kept the codebase easier to maintain.

Feedback

Rating: 6/10

Improvements

• Keep answers tighter
• Clearly state:
  • Problem
  • Decision
  • Result

SOLID Principles

Single Responsibility Principle (SRP)

My Answer

SRP means a class or function should have only one responsibility.

In our OCR pipeline, the first version handled OCR, JSON formatting, and logging all in one class. I refactored it so the OCR service only extracted text, while logging and JSON parsing were moved to separate modules.

This improved readability and modularity.

Feedback

Rating: 7/10

Improvements

• Shorten explanations
• Keep one clear responsibility statement

Open/Closed Principle (OCP)

My Answer

Open/Closed Principle means software should be open for extension but closed for modification.

For example, in a logger system, we may initially support only info and error logs. Later, if we want to add debug logs, we should extend functionality without modifying stable existing logic.

This reduces the chance of breaking existing systems.

Feedback

Rating: 7/10

Improvements

• Say:
  • “Add new behavior without editing stable existing code.”

Liskov Substitution Principle (LSP)

Correct Explanation

A subclass should be replaceable for its parent class without breaking expected behavior.

Example

A classic violation is:

• Rectangle class allows independent width and height
• Square subclass forces both values to remain equal

This breaks client expectations and causes bugs.

Interface Segregation Principle (ISP)

My Answer

ISP means clients should not depend on methods they do not use.

For example, instead of one huge Vehicle interface, we can split interfaces like:

• EnginePowered
• Swimmable

This prevents unrelated classes from implementing unnecessary methods.

Feedback

Rating: 6/10

Improvements

• Define the principle first
• Then explain interface splitting

Creational Design Patterns

Factory Method Pattern

My Answer

Factory Method is used when object creation depends on runtime conditions.

For example, if we have multiple car types like Audi, BMW, and Ferrari, instead of hardcoding object creation everywhere, we use a factory that returns the correct object based on configuration or input.

This improves maintainability and separates creation logic from business logic.

Feedback

Rating: 7/10

Improvements

• Emphasize:
  • “Encapsulating object creation”

Singleton Pattern

My Answer

Singleton ensures only one instance of a class exists.

A common example is database connection management. Without Singleton, multiple unnecessary connections may exhaust the connection pool.

Singleton helps centralize resource management.

Risks

• Hidden global state
• Harder testing
• Concurrency bottlenecks

Feedback

Rating: 7/10

Builder Pattern

My Answer

Builder Pattern is used for constructing complex objects step-by-step.

Telescoping constructors become difficult to read when there are many parameters. Builder pattern makes object creation more readable and maintainable.

Example:

User user = new UserBuilder()
    .setName("Manas")
    .setTimeout(30)
    .enableCache(true)
    .build();

Feedback

Rating: 8/10

Prototype Pattern

My Answer

Prototype Pattern is used when cloning existing objects is more efficient than creating new ones.

In game development, character templates can be cloned and then slightly modified instead of recreating everything from scratch.

One important concern is shallow copy vs deep copy.

Feedback

Rating: 8/10

Overall Interview Feedback

Strengths

• Strong practical understanding
• Real-world engineering examples
• Good instinct for scalability and maintainability
• Comfortable discussing backend architecture

Main Areas to Improve

1. Sentence Precision

Your biggest issue is not knowledge — it’s sentence construction.

You often:

• restart sentences
• repeat ideas
• lose grammatical structure midway

Fix

Use shorter sentences.

Instead of:

>

Say:

>

2. STAR Structure

You are partially following STAR naturally.

You consistently:

• explain context
• explain action

But you sometimes skip:

• measurable result

Better Structure

• Situation
• Task
• Action
• Result

Always end with:

• reduced latency
• improved maintainability
• simplified debugging
• reduced duplicate code
• improved scalability

3. Pace & Delivery

Your pace changes depending on confidence.

Pattern Observed

• Strong topics → calm pace
• Searching for words → very fast pace

Fix

Pause intentionally.

Use transition phrases:

• “In short…”
• “The main idea is…”
• “The outcome was…”

This buys thinking time and sounds confident.

English Improvement Strategy

Best Practice (30 mins/day)

1. Record Yourself

Take one interview question daily.
Record a 1-minute answer.

2. Rewrite It

Rewrite into:

• 3 clean sentences
• simpler grammar
• fewer filler words

3. Speak Again

Repeat until it sounds natural.

Final Overall Evaluation

Area	Rating
Technical Understanding	8.5/10
Practical Examples	8/10
Communication Clarity	6.5/10
Confidence	7/10
Structure	7/10
Interview Readiness	7.5/10

Final Advice

You already think like an engineer.
Now your next jump is sounding structured and concise under pressure.

If you improve:

• pacing
• sentence clarity
• concise STAR delivery

…you can perform very strongly in senior backend interviews.

https://preview.redd.it/aplhx0cgv92h1.png?width=726&format=png&auto=webp&s=62ba4b2ade518af0f9ea77d0d94688bb1d420454

Ps: I want to share the thread but it's not available for voice

I would like to write a paper researching people’s language around homelessness, and how language can show stigma. But I’m not in school anymore, I don’t work at a university, and I’m not even in the NCA anymore. How does one write when they aren’t a student or an academic?

A. Shared doc everyone can see in real-time

B. Personal notes I clean up after

C. Scattered notes across notebook/laptop/phone

D. Try to remember, send recap email later (maybe)

I’m having a really difficult time discussing and putting up boundaries or what I want in a relationship whether it’s platonic or romantic. I’ve hit a hard place recently after getting out of a relationship of 2 years, I feel like all the walls I learned to break down are going right back up. I can’t say what I feel, and when a boundary is crossed (to no fault of the other party at all!), I can’t seem to say “oh yeah let’s maybe not do that.” For example, I’ve been exploring FWB situations with different people, although I only really have one actual situation with one of my ‘friends’. But, with this being an active situation I tend to talk about it with my other friends and somehow I’ve gotten myself into another with a friend I’ve had for about 3-4 years now. Unfortunately, somehow in discussing/not discussing this, it seems that this friends idea of FWB is not only sex but also kind of with romantic hints? We went on a hang out that felt very very date like. He is a very nice guy. He paid for my dinner, my movie tickets, etc. held doors for me, held my hand, kissed me on the cheek, and just got very close in general. This just isn’t natural for us and I felt myself freezing up instead of just putting up the boundary or even reciprocating it back. This seems like a non issue and obviously I will have a talk with him about it, I’d never like to leave him in the dark but whenever the moment comes I just feel frozen, anxious and I can’t say anything. Is this an issue anyone else has or has had?? I feel so weird and alone.

I’m a manager at Amazon and I’ve recently become more self aware about how I come across to people. I’m naturally pretty monotone, serious, and I do not smile or laugh a lot unless something genuinely makes me laugh. I’ve realized that even though I talk to everyone, help people, and feel like I have pretty good relationships at work, I may come across colder or more intimidating than I actually am.

Most people seem cool with me and I genuinely try to treat everyone respectfully. I check in with associates, talk to people throughout the shift, and try to be fair and approachable. But I have one counterpart specifically who seems to dislike being asked to do things by someone younger than her, and I’m wondering if my non verbal communication makes that worse too.

I do not think I’m rude, but I also know perception matters in leadership. I want to become a better leader and appear more friendly and approachable without becoming fake or forcing a personality that is not me.

For people who are naturally reserved or serious:

• What non verbal cues make someone seem more approachable?
• What are small things managers do physically or socially that make people more comfortable around them?
• How do you appear warmer without overdoing it or seeming fake?
• For anyone in operations leadership, how do you handle counterparts who may not respect younger managers?

Open to honest advice because I genuinely want to improve.

I'm an Ops manager for a hospitality group, 6 locations, around 110 staff. And I spent a chunk of earlier this year running deputy and the breakroom app side by side and figured I'd share the numbers since most comparisons online skip the part that actually matters, which is what each one costs once you add in the stuff your team will genuinely use.

Deputy is built for operations that need the full workforce management layer. AI powered labor optimization, payroll integrations with ADP and Gusto, HR add ons, time clock. Scheduling is solid but it's not really what you're paying for, you're paying for the stack around it. If demand patterns drive your labor forecasting across multiple sites, that's where it was built to shine.

Breakroom is built around chat and scheduling together at $30 flat. Scheduling covers what most operations actually need (drag and drop, templates, swap approvals, availability, shift management), and the communication side is where the product really lives. Announcements, message "read by" remind, polls, role based permissions, unlimited message and file history, company wide channels, organizational events with actual start times. Sign in is phone number with 2FA, no passwords, which killed our login reset cycle.

Here's where deputy's pricing caught me off guard during the eval. Their Lite tier is $5.50 per user, Core is $7.25 per user. Group messaging on both is capped at 10 users. Want group chat beyond 10 people? That's Messaging+ at $1.95 per user on top. Read receipts, polls, role based permissions, unlimited history are either higher tier or paid add ons. Payroll integration and HR are also separately priced.

At 110 people that ran roughly:

Core tier: $798

Messaging+ to lift the 10 user cap: $214

Payroll integration: around $880

HR: around $220

Close to $2,100 monthly before anything else. Breakroom is $30 flat. That gap is wide enough that it pretty much decides the call unless you truly need everything deputy charges for.

What we actually ended up doing is a hybrid. Deputy stays for scheduling and the workforce management side since management already relies on labor forecasting and HR. Breakroom handles messaging because the math on communication alone saved us a few hundred a month and I can import the deputy schedule into it, so staff only open one app to see shifts and messages. Long term we're looking at moving payroll and time tracking to gusto, which would let us drop deputy entirely unless the AI labor piece keeps earning its cost.

Happy to answer specific questions if useful.

One of the least talked about but most important skills in public speaking is learning how to speak from the heart. It might sound woo-woo but your audience will know when you’re speaking from the heart and more importantly, when you’re not.

Example: one time I gave a meeting presentation and lead with a joke about golf. It bombed. Not only did it bomb but it was a stupid thing to say because I don’t play golf nor do I know anything about it. And it was obvious to the other people in the meeting that I didn’t and that I wasn’t being authentic.

When you speak from the heart you consistently reflect your core values, audiences sense alignment between who you are and what you're saying. And it builds trust and helps you create a connection with everyone in the room.

The easiest way to do this is to figure out your personal values first. Then you let those values come into every time you speak in public. Quick way to do this:

1. Pick 3-4 values from a list, for example: Authenticity/Courage/Curiosity/Discipline/Empathy/Excellence/Family/Faith/Freedom/Fun/Generosity/Gratitude/Growth/Honesty/Humility/Humor/Impact/Independence/Integrity/Kindness/Leadership/Learning/Loyalty/Resilience/Service
2. Think about why you picked those values and why they are most important to you.Obviously they are all important but some will resonate more than others.
3. Think about how you can incorporate them into your own speaking style.

So for me, authenticity and fun are two of my core values. When I speak my message and delivery reflect those. I value authenticity so I use words in a speech that I actually use and I don’t worry about saying ‘uhmm’ or being perfect in my delivery.

I can about being authentic. I also value fun so I use examples of things that are often considered fun (surfing, going to an amusement park, etc). So every time I talk my voice reflects my values.

And in many ways it makes giving a speech easier because I’m not trying to be all things to all people- I’m just trying to be me, speak from the heart and have my voice reflect my values.

Speaking from the heart and knowing your values will help your public speaking become easier. Once you know who you are the whole thing gets less scary and intimidating. Hope this is helpful- i realize we don't talk about values in public speaking often so wanted to bring it up.

Hey,

For a long time I thought that if I just spoke precisely, politely, and “with my head on straight,” communication would somehow work out. Turns out that’s only the beginning.

I’m now realizing how incredibly complex this process actually is. It’s not just about expressing yourself clearly. It’s about doing all of this at the same time:

• clearly stating your needs and boundaries
• not triggering the other person’s automatic defensive reactions
• avoiding premature assumptions (both your own and not provoking them in others)
• genuinely giving the other person space to feel heard,
• not falling into schematic roles and typical automatic patterns.

Whether at work, in a relationship, or with friends — it’s the same challenge everywhere. There are tons of models and techniques (Non-Violent Communication, active listening, frame control, etc.), but simply knowing them isn’t enough. You have to apply all of it in real time, often under emotional pressure.

This is probably one of the most underrated “superpowers” in adult life. The more I dive into it, the more respect I have for people who are genuinely good at it.

Did any of you also have that “damn, this is way harder than I thought” moment?

Need some advice from people who’ve hosted large virtual group sessions before.

I’m about to host an informal networking/community-style call with ~100 people across different countries and time zones. I’m comfortable facilitating groups up to around 30, but 100 is definitely new territory for me.

Would love tips, tricks, formats, ESPECIALLY engagement ideas, icebreakers, ways to keep energy levels up, and things you wish someone told you before hosting a large interactive session like this.

I need to vent for a second because I feel like I’m losing my mind.
I’ve always loved the idea that language is supposed to unite people. I’ve gone out of my way to be friends with people from all over—multilingual, "linguistics" types, people with cool backgrounds. But lately, I’ve realized that instead of bringing us together, it’s being used as a tool to completely shut people out.
Does anyone else deal with friends who just… forget you exist the moment someone else speaks their native tongue?
I’ll be out at dinner or hanging at a house, and two of my "friends" will just dive into a conversation in a language they know I don’t speak a word of. And I’m not talking about a quick 30-second clarification. I’m talking hours. I’m literally sitting there, eating my fries or staring at my phone, while they laugh and debate and have this deep connection right in front of me.
It feels so incredibly unwelcoming. It’s like being a ghost at your own hangout. When I try to jump in or ask what’s up, I get a half-second summary like, "Oh, we're just talking about work," and then they go right back into it.
What is the word for this? Is there a specific term for people who are "linguistically cliquey" or just completely socially oblivious? It feels just straight-up conversational exclusion.
I used to think learning about different cultures was about opening doors, but right now it feels like I’m just standing outside a locked one. Am I being too sensitive, or is this just common-level rudeness now?

[supprimé]

I am a 27 year old female. I have been noticing that I am extremely bad at communication, and I’m realizing that I really never have communicated much with anybody ever.

I grew up in an environment where I never once felt starved of love or attention. I always felt safe and cared for, so I really don’t know what this might’ve come from. (I started therapy a couple weeks ago, so this will be a priority)

Anyways, I was in a 7 year relationship that ended up deteriorating because he was never able to really understand what was going on in my head. I was able to express my love and positive things to him, but I never really expressed issues and I would deal with them internally. I am extremely avoidant of conflict. Anyways, when it was something that really bothered me, it would end up coming out during conversations/arguments that he started, stealing his opportunity to speak with me about his issues. I can see how frustrating this would be for him, and I was aware that I would do it, but would end up repeating the cycle in the heat of the moment. I truly could not get myself to bring up issues with him other times, it’s like I would hype myself up to bring something up to him in a healthy way, and when it came down to it I just couldn’t do it and would stay quiet about it. Obviously this made the relationship extremely difficult for me also because I was never expressing my feelings so he’d continue to do things that bothered me without even realizing.

I’ve done this my whole life in my friendships and with my parents. I remember never telling my parents if I got in trouble in school as a kid or if I was in any little girl drama. When my parents were going through a divorce, I never once spoke about it to any of my friends at all. I had a very close best friend at the time and when she inevitably heard about it from her parents, she’d asked me and I just brushed it off.

I don’t know why I am this way, but it’s like I just am so uncomfortable talking about things with anybody. I have tried therapy in the past, but couldn’t get myself to talk about any of my issues and would end up quitting it. I started again, and I told her right away that I have this issue so that she can hopefully help pull some stuff out of me and help me figure this out.

Anyways, all of this is to say, does anybody else resonate with this? If so, was there a book or practice that you did to work on improving your communication?

Thank you!!