r/communication

I’m parked at some park, drank a bottle of wine in the back seat of my car. I’m so sad and tired. I feel so alone. I know a lot of us are in this position, but damn. It’s hard huh?
I’m ok. Just lonely. I hope y’all are ok out there. Tomorrow is a new day I guess.

I'm at a stage in life where I want to focus on building my career, so dating isn't really a priority right now. But sometimes I can't help feeling like I also want a caring man in my life...someone who genuinely supports, understands, and cares about me.

Has anyone else felt torn between focusing on their goals and wanting a meaningful relationship at the same time? How do you deal with it?

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I’m learning that silence is not always something I need to hurry up and fill. Sometimes I get uncomfortable when nobody is talking, so I want to jump in, explain more, smooth things over, or say something just to make the moment feel less weird.

But I’m starting to see that silence can give people room. Room to think, feel and say what they actually mean. I don’t always have to rescue the moment. Sometimes emotional intelligence is just being able to sit in the awkward pause without forcing it to disappear.

Generally what goes on in people's minds when they initiate a conversation over text or social media and you reply and they don't give you a response back? I find it odd they're the ones who were wanting to talk or ask about something and then leave my reply unopened or on read, am I overthinking it?

What makes you think, Okay… I actually want to keep texting this guy?. What’s the one thing that instantly grabs your attention and makes you excited to see their next message?. Curious to hear what actually works.

What does it mean when a woman makes eye contact with u and does these things, looks away and starts fanning herself with hand, looks away and starts touching her body, abs, waist, booty, suddenly starts training in front of u?

I notice this more oftenly with women but I am maybe just overthinking a lot.

I’m sitting there "chatting," saying something, but nobody is listening. Meanwhile, unlike them, I don’t interrupt anyone and I speak clearly. I say it once, twice, three times (with a fair amount of time passing in between, since they never stop talking), and finally, I lose my patience—I interrupt them, but still get no response. I try again—still nothing. What the hell? Situation #2: This time it’s a dialogue. And it’s happened more than once or twice. — You bought that sweet treat again? You know I don't like it. (It was bought for me personally.) — Really? You never said that. It’s a conversation—and one that’s happened so many times—so how is it possible not to listen at all? And this kind of thing happens with different people. Is the problem with me, or with the people around me?

Apologies for the phrasing; I had to use a translator.

The message:

Hey,

I wanted to be honest because I feel bad not replying. Please don't feel like you have to read this if you don't want to know, but I just wanted to explain openly what happened for me and why I don't think it worked.

I guess what I'm looking for is a balance between too much attention and feeling like I don't really matter. I'm sorry, but things like sending me a Venmo, or other little things like that, kind of killed the romance for me. Then when you stopped replying for two days, or when I told you one weekend that my roommate was away and you didn't respond, those things added up over time and gradually changed how I felt. Also, when you told me I talked too much about myself... maybe there was some truth to it, but it still hurt my feelings a little.

As for the intimate part, I just don't think we had the most natural connection. It didn't really feel organic to me. For example, you accidentally bit my lip last Saturday, and during the bl*wjob it was a bit uncomfortable for me, which is why I didn't really want to continue afterwards. 🙈 I didn't know how to say it in the moment, though.

Then there were other little things that made me realize we're probably just a bit different. Even something like our music taste, I usually love sharing music with someone, but for some reason I felt a bit intimidated doing that with you.

I hope it's okay for me to say all of this. I really don't want to sound mean or make you feel bad. I just wanted to be honest because I think you deserve an explanation.

I genuinely wish you all the best too and I hope you find someone who's a better match for you too. I know for anyone it's not easy (and it also takes time and a lot of efforts). 🤍

To give some context: I was also not feeling like we were a match and there were some things that I wanted to improve (e.g. he talked a lot about himself and asked almost no questions, so I talked to him about that). Around the physical thing: this is really my biggest insecurity because I never had a serious relationship let alone a longer physical one.

My question/dilemma comes from many many interactions with a loved one that ends in an argument, agitation and then complete silence.
I love and care for the said individual and im simply trying to understand.

They have a deep desire of having what they call ‘deep and real conversations’ about reality, what’s beneath the surface, philosophy, and wanting someone that helps them to explore and understand the deeper meaning to their thoughts, however:

Every single instance of having a conversation ends in an argument.
The problem:

1. I am on the spectrum. To me, a conversation means people conversing, say and hear. I simply ask questions to try to understand, relate, get more information so that i can be sure i am actually listening correctly. To my mind, this is so that i understand them better and on a deeper level and also shows that i am engaged.
2. Said individual is heavily opinionated, has voiced on many occasions that nobody actually understands what they are talking about, strictly believes their own ideas/knowledge/values/experiences are not understood by the masses and simply not taken as seriously.
3. In almost all of these “conversations”, the argument starts when i express my objections (OR ANY OBJECTIONS) towards a subject.

Random example, not an actual conversation: lets say his point of view is “sky is always blue”
I say “are you referring to the color we perceive as blue when we look at the sky, or sky is actually blue?”
Them: “omg stop it, you always have to make it about what you think is the correct way of saying things, whatever, we are done”

——
My question is: Is it wrong to converse in a conversation? If the person wants you to only be an audience, only listen, no verbal confirmations or communications- is this still a conversation?

How can i navigate this further? To what extent are humans expected to empathize with people’s self-created thoughts and realities. I might not understand it but i want to try my best.
I don’t want to settle for assumptions. I want to actually comprehend and help if i can. Im really lost

Not texting.
Not commenting.

Actual conversations.

I was genuinely pleased when I first received a cell phone that could easily text (blackberry pearl). But as time went on, I tried calling anyone I wanted to speak to much more than I would ever text them, even for quick inquiries. I understand that sometimes texting is simpler especially if one party is actively busy and can only jot off a text or 2. But even on the social media landscape, it’s becoming more and more impersonal. I don’t understand how people can continue on this trend and not notice severe consequences to their psyche

I used to think personal CRM sounded corporate and unnecessary. But when you’re juggling clients, vendors, colleagues, mentors, and personal contacts, it becomes more about relationship memory than sales tracking. Even simple notes about last conversations, shared files, or follow-up dates can make you more present and less stressed. It’s like outsourcing your memory so your brain can focus on meaningful work. The key is keeping it lightweight. What tools are people using for personal relationship tracking that don’t feel too “salesy”?

He says he's not ignoring me, but he takes 12 hours to reply to my texts. What would you think?