u/RealCandyBarrel

The credit cards are all maxed out from his treatment . I’m drowning in debt. I’m having to move to another apartment. In the mixed of all the packing my 12 year old diabetic boy stopped eating and drinking. He declined within the past day or so and last week his numbers were in the 200s … he was still jumping up and down and cuddling. Now hes just laying around I offer food and water and he turns up at it. I do this multiple times a times a day and he’s taking some in or mewing at me when he wants some. It’s a sad mew. I wish I could trade spots with him. Am literally doing a move 2 hours away, Finding a job, packing, unloading. This is so stressful. I need to take him to the vet but i literally don’t have family near me or friends willing to to help. Should I give him up for adoption? I’m worried I’m going to just go home and he’s going to be gone. I hate myself so much. I should be a better cat mom, I can’t afford this…

AIO about my sister saying me having kids would “ruin her life”?
I (32F) have wanted kids for years. My sister (29F) and her husband (28M) also want kids and have been planning to start trying soon. Our mom (52F) has always told both of us she’d happily help babysit whenever she’s able.
I recently got out of a 7-year relationship with a narcissist. Combined with another previous 7-year relationship, I’ve spent about 14 years with the wrong people. I’m in therapy, taking medication, and trying to build a healthier future. I’m also very aware of my biological clock.
My sister and her husband have been married almost two years, own a house, and are financially comfortable. They recently stopped birth control because they’re preparing for kids. I’m genuinely happy for them, although I’ve admitted to both of them that I sometimes feel behind in life. My therapist has been helping me accept that everyone has different timelines.
Over the past year, though, I’ve felt increasingly judged by them. They’ve made unsolicited comments about how I shouldn’t buy a house because I wouldn’t maintain it properly and it’d end up looking like our dad’s house (which was a painful comparison since we were both embarrassed of how we grew up). They’ve also told me I’m going to waste another seven years on the guy I’m currently seeing and end up too old to have children. They regularly give opinions about my career and life choices even when I haven’t asked.
Last weekend everything finally came to a head.
My mom, sister, and I spent the day together before meeting my brother-in-law later. We all had a few drinks throughout the day. When it was time to leave, I told my BIL I didn’t feel comfortable driving because I was a little tipsy. We’d already agreed beforehand that if that happened, I’d leave my car overnight and they’d take me back to their house.
The next day, my mom treated us to getting our nails done and dinner. At dinner I had two drinks and thought everyone was having a good time.
During dinner, I mentioned wanting to be a mom someday. My sister interrupted me and said that me having a child would “ruin her life” because my child would take away her babysitter and she’d have to quit her job to raise her own kids.
That really hurt because our mom has always said she’d help both of us. It also wasn’t the first time babysitting had come up. Months earlier, when I mentioned our mom watching my future kids someday, my BIL got upset and said, “We asked her first.”
Later that night, my sister drove me to pick up my dog from daycare because I’d been drinking. While we were driving, my BIL called and asked, “Why can’t she drive to pick up her own dog?” even though everyone had already agreed I shouldn’t be driving after drinking. That also bothered me.
The next day I sent them a respectful message explaining that my sister’s comment about my future children and my BIL questioning why I wasn’t driving had hurt my feelings. I used ChatGPT to help organize my thoughts because after years of being criticized by my ex for how I communicated, I still struggle to express myself clearly during emotional conversations.
Neither of them responded. Instead, my sister told our mom she wasn’t going to talk to me for a while.
I panicked because I felt completely unheard. I’m not proud of it, but I lost my temper and sent more messages.
My sister eventually replied, saying she had been “trying to keep the peace” and that I was selfish, mean, immature, and a drain on her mental health.
She then said, “I never said you having a kid would ruin my life. I said you having a kid out of spite would ruin my life, and I stand by that.”
The problem is I have never once said I’d have a child out of spite. I’ve only ever told them that because of my age, if I accidentally became pregnant while practicing safe sex, I wouldn’t consider it a tragedy. I’m financially stable enough to raise a child and would see it as a blessing.
She ended her message by saying she hoped I would “grow up and not die alone like our grandfather.”
That comment was incredibly hurtful, and we haven’t spoken since.
One last piece of context: my sister later told me my BIL had been texting her during dinner saying I was “ruining her birthday like always” and asking if he should talk to me because of “how I was acting.” I asked my mom if I’d been acting inappropriately before my sister made the comment about my future children, and she said she thought I was acting completely normal.
This whole situation feels out of character for my sister, which makes it even more confusing.
AIO for being deeply hurt by my sister saying that my having children would “ruin her life”?

Edit: we were on a family staycation. I’m a light weight and do not drink often. They drank as much as I did. They drink more often and they have cars that drive themselves and jobs that probably would allow them to be pulled over without repercussions. I’m not going to go into their jobs. All the times to pick my dog up we’re all agreed to

I get so frustrated with the screaming for food and the sneaking to steal food from his brother and sister. It genuinely makes me mad and days like these I want to give him to a home where he’s the only pet. It’s incredibly hard and exhausting financial and emotionally. He has the appropriate insulin unit, we’ve got into a point where we tested every three months I have an automatic feeder for him and also give him wet food twice a day. We have a water dish that’s automatic as well. I’m finding it incredibly hard to feel empathy for him, but I know he’s not feeling well so I’m super conflicted. Please know rude messages. I already feel like shit. I’m trying to do everything I can. I just need some emotional support I guess because I am living by myself. I have no one that’s able to help me with this I had a relationship that failed after seven years and I lost a puppy in 2024 right before he got diagnosed with diabetes currently I have a Situationship that doesn’t seem to be going anywhere so it just feels like I’m not doing anything right in my life

Has anyone had a situationship actually turn into a healthy relationship?

I think I might be in one, but it’s not really what I expected a situationship to look like.

I met a guy through mutual friends, and we clicked pretty quickly. From the beginning, our conversations weren’t just about casual stuff—we talked about long-term goals, marriage, kids, and what we want out of life. At the same time, we’re both in our 30s, coming out of long relationships that weren’t right for us, and neither of us was really looking to jump straight into another serious relationship.

We agreed to take things slowly and see where things go. We’ve both acknowledged that it might not work out, and we’re trying not to force anything.

The confusing part is that he’s referred to us as “just friends,” even though we’re exclusive, not seeing or sleeping with other people, and we’ve become pretty involved in each other’s lives. I’ve met people who are very important to him, and we spend a lot of time together. So hearing “friends” sometimes feels a little confusing, especially as I’ve gotten more attached.

We’re both in therapy and actively working on ourselves, which I think is a positive thing. I guess my question is: has anyone been in a situation like this that actually developed into a real relationship? Is it reasonable to have hope, or am I setting myself up to waste more time on the wrong person?

I’d especially love to hear from people who started slow and intentionally rather than jumping straight into a relationship.

**TL;DR;** : . Is this going the right way?

Has anyone had a situationship actually turn into a healthy relationship?

I think I might be in one, but it’s not really what I expected a situationship to look like.

I met a guy through mutual friends, and we clicked pretty quickly. From the beginning, our conversations weren’t just about casual stuff—we talked about long-term goals, marriage, kids, and what we want out of life. At the same time, we’re both in our 30s, coming out of long relationships that weren’t right for us, and neither of us was really looking to jump straight into another serious relationship.

We agreed to take things slowly and see where things go. We’ve both acknowledged that it might not work out, and we’re trying not to force anything.

The confusing part is that he’s referred to us as “just friends,” even though we’re exclusive, not seeing or sleeping with other people, and we’ve become pretty involved in each other’s lives. I’ve met people who are very important to him, and we spend a lot of time together. So hearing “friends” sometimes feels a little confusing, especially as I’ve gotten more attached.

We’re both in therapy and actively working on ourselves, which I think is a positive thing. I guess my question is: has anyone been in a situation like this that actually developed into a real relationship? Is it reasonable to have hope, or am I setting myself up to waste more time on the wrong person?

I’d especially love to hear from people who started slow and intentionally rather than jumping straight into a relationship.