u/RedBullWack

currently feeling insecure but im also on my journey of bettering myself so i dont want to do old habits. my old habits would consist of me traight up asking people, "am i being annoying?", "sorry for being annoying", "do you hate me?", or isolating. i dont want to do that anymore. partly cause i know that is also annoying lol.

but i get stuck in this argument with myself, do i act like nothing is wrong tho it might be, or do i ask for clarity with the possibility of it being annoying if im wrong.

how do i healthily and not annoyingly find out?

i know i could look for evidence, but my mind twists things and things that may not be evidence could be, or vice versa.

this is written poorly but i hope you get what im asking.

Ontario Canada btw

my dilemma. interested in biology and medicine, but do i choose animals, or humans.

i currently work in a cat shelter and LOVE cats. i give them meds, love learning about cats, i would totally love to work with them! if that was the only animal i worked with..

if i went into vet tech i would have to work with different animals; im not opposed per say, but i just dont have that much interest in learning about cows or sheep, birds, or even dogs tbh. im really only interested in cats. i know cat specialists exist, but do i want to go through minimum 4 years working with other animals?.. also, i know the pay is lower.

with humans, the biology is basically the same. and if its not, well thats more interesting lol. and i love learning about human biology, this is what i was originally interested in before i started at the cat shelter. i would not want to work bed side as interacting with patients is not something i want to do, so no to being a nurse; but im limited as i do not want to attend med school (ADHD + seems super daunting. tho i will say being a surgeon/anesthesiologist were my dream jobs…). so im not exactly sure what route exactly i would go. i do like kids tho, so working with them is an option as well.

since i dont know the exact route i want to go, it makes it a bit more difficult. in vet tech, you kinda do it all; xrays, surgery, giving meds, etc. in humans, you have a department and thats all you do; its more limited.

if anyone else was stuck in this decision at one point and could give me some advice/guidance i would really appreciate it!

Ontario Canada btw

my dilemma. interested in biology and medicine, but do i choose animals, or humans.

i currently work in a cat shelter and LOVE cats. i give them meds, love learning about cats, i would totally love to work with them! of that was the only animal i worked with..

if i went into vet tech i would have to work with different animals; im not opposed per say, but i just dont have that much interest in learning about cows or sheep, birds, or even dogs tbh. im really only interested in cats. i know cat specialists exist, but do i want to go through minimum 4 years working with other animals. also, i know the pay is lower.

with humans, the biology is basically the same. and if its not, well thats more interesting lol. and i love learning about human biology, this is what i was originally interested in before i started at the cat shelter. i would not want to work bedside as interacting with patients is not something i want to do, so no to being a nurse; but im limited as i do not want to attend med school (ADHD + seems super daunting. tho i will say being a surgeon/anesthesiologist were my dream jobs…). so im not exactly sure what route exactly i would go. i do like kids tho, so working with them is an option as well.

since i dont know the exact route i want to go, it makes it a bit more difficult. in vet tech, you kinda do it all; xrays, surgery, giving meds, etc. in humans, you have a department and thats all you do; its more limited.

if anyone else was stuck in this decision at one point and could give me some advice/guidance i would really appreciate it!

as im trying to recover and still have trigger foods that cannot be brought into the house (basically all ready-to-eat pantry food) im running out of snack ideas.

right now its mainly fruit, yogurt, deli meat, cheese, etc. all cold foods. i dont want cold foods all the time. but i binge on pantry items. UGH.

what snacks are room temp or warm????
toast gets boring, peanut butter isnt my fav and nutella is not entering my house lol. jam is cold. and too sweet.

food is difficult.

Mainly want a womans POV but if you know a REALLY good one then ig it can be a man lol.

anyways i want a book that talks about womanhood, their journey to success, or their struggles (not a depressing book). basically i want a story about finally choosing myself, choosing to live + wanting learn, and what its about being a woman

i really love when people talk about what they are passionate about and what inspired them. idk what that would constitute as in book genre… but when someone else is inspired, it makes me inspired, and i want that in a book form

not an autobiography unless its entertaining tho

went out today to go to the store, and everything was fine as i would be seeing people of any age. i didnt really care all too much what i looked like (tho i did put some effort, like makeup etc), it was fine. until i saw them. it was high school lunch hour. i didnt even know there was a high school near the grocery store, let alone they come here during lunch. it was PACKED with teenagers.

now, im not in high school anymore, im 20 and i did online school (ty to social anxiety), so i know im too old to comparing myself to them, but i cant help but feel inferior with anyone ~5 years of me higher or lower. they all looked cool af. pretty. their own styles, all look chill. and here i come, trying to get in the store, aware that my face is obviously displaying my FEAR. i know i LOOK shy when they look at me. and i HATE THAT. i want to act all cool and nonchalant, or at least not TERRIFIED.

im already on 200mg of sertraline/zoloft. that at least has helped me step outside, but god i go back to step 0 when i come within range of someone my age. instantly feel inferior, ugly, weird, etc.

how do i just NOT GIVE A FUCK? i want to be nonchalant. but i CANT. i CARE TOO MUCH.