u/Remarkable_Local_626

I decided to put myself out there after about 8 months of being single and working on myself and I recently met this guy (I’ll call him Aiden) online.

He seemed very kind and it was pretty clear that we had a lot in common such as shared music taste, being a part of an alternative subculture, dog ownership, etc and we ended up doing on a date after 2 weeks of talking which went well. We also follow each other on Instagram and I have noticed that he’s been liking a concerning amount of video pertaining to Borderline Personality Disorder and its symptoms. I do know that he’s had struggles with mental health in the past as hes been open about that and he used to self harm at one point although the scars I saw on his arm were very old.

I’ve just heard so many horror stories about BPD and I now feel uncertain about this. He genuinely seems like a sweet guy but I’m very much aware that people with the disorder can become abusive within seconds when triggered and I don’t want to get involved with somebody who may potentially become abusive or controlling. What would be the best approach here? I do want to keep seeing him for the time being but I would NOT get into a relationship with him if it comes out that he can’t regulate his emotions.

I decided to put myself out there after about 8 months of being single and working on myself and I recently met this guy (I’ll call him Aiden) online.

He seemed very kind and it was pretty clear that we had a lot in common such as shared music taste, being a part of an alternative subculture, dog ownership, etc and we ended up doing on a date after 2 weeks of talking which went well. We also follow each other on Instagram and I have noticed that he’s been liking a concerning amount of video pertaining to Borderline Personality Disorder and its symptoms. I do know that he’s had struggles with mental health in the past as hes been open about that and he used to self harm at one point although the scars I saw on his arm were very old.

I’ve just heard so many horror stories about BPD and I now feel uncertain about this. He genuinely seems like a sweet guy but I’m very much aware that people with the disorder can become abusive within seconds when triggered and I don’t want to get involved with somebody who may potentially become abusive or controlling. What would be the best approach here? I do want to keep seeing him for the time being but I would NOT get into a relationship with him if it comes out that he can’t regulate his emotions.

Me and L have been close friends for almost 4 years now and yesterday I made the decision to cut him out of my life and I’m not entirely certain if I made the right decision.

Basically I had developed feelings for L at the beginning of our friendship but he got into a relationship before I could confess anything to him and they’ve been together for almost 3 years now. I just couldn’t find it in me to feel much happiness for him and while I’m aware thats just how life is sometimes, it felt unfair that I never even had the chance to tell him I liked him. I know this sounds corny but he was everything I wanted in a partner; he was kind and handsome, we initially shared a lot of the same interests, I could relate to him as he is also neurodivergent and struggled connecting with others growing up so there were shared life experiences as well and he was also genuinely the funniest person I’d ever known. He always knew how to make me laugh.

What made this all the more emotionally confusing was that he would talk to me every day, sometimes for hours until he went to bed and these conversations would definitely get quite personal at times. But all I could feel was resentment for his girlfriend at this point, especially whenever he mentioned her and being in constant contact with him was beginning to have an impact on my mental health so yesterday, I wrote him out a long message on Instagram telling him I couldn’t be friends with him anymore due to the impact it was having on my mental health and bid him farewell.

I feel kind of bad because he technically didn’t do anything wrong to me but I also felt that there was no other way around it. AITJ for cutting him off?

TL; DR: I cut off a close online friend I had feelings for because he was in a long term relationship

I recently started a new job and I can already tell that my manager doesn’t like me just based on how she treats me compared to my colleagues.

She micromanages me and I could swear that she’s constantly on the lookout for me to make a mistake, so she could immediately swoop in and start putting me down (example: I didn’t bag a customer‘s items for them as they had already started grabbing them off the counter before I could bag their stuff for them. My manager began to remark how this is poor customer service and was behaving like I had done this multiple times and that this was an ongoing issue even though it was only this one occasion. I always make sure to bag customers’ items for them and I’m well aware that this is the protocol since this is not my first customer service job and she knows this.)

She is always talkative and smiley with my other coworkers but only ever talks to me when it’s to tell me to go and do something or if I ask her a question. Today when I came in, I was not having a particularly good morning as I have severe spring allergies and I had a fight with my mother before she dropped me off, and this lady was genuinely angry with me for not looking “happy to be there” and threatened to fire me when I told her that I had done everything she asked me to and more because she viewed this as me bring rude and having an attitude. I know I shouldn’t have talked back at her but I was already fed up with her micromanaging at that point. Another example is that my coworker had forgotten to record fridge temperatures and she didn’t say anything to her but of course, had to get at least a little bit bitchy with me when I took the temperature later in the afternoon than usual but that was because I was busy doing other closing duties and I had no one to help me with them.

She is up my ass literally the SECOND she sees that I’m taking a breather when it’s slow and there are no customers in store even if I’ve done everything that is written on our store duties list, telling me to stop standing around and go and find something to do. The way she speaks to me you’d think that I was hiding in the bathroom when there’s a rush. It’s just become irritating because it’s not like I’m slacking off, it’s just genuinely hard to find extra things to do when the shelves are fully stocked, the windows wiped down, the dishes washed, and the floors are swept. I don’t get paid enough to have some middle aged women with children being condescending towards me because there’s 5 bags of chips on the shelf instead of 6.

It’s really a shame because I enjoy the job and I like my coworkers. She just ruins it and I’m starting to dread clocking in. It’s annoying and hurtful in a way because I don’t feel that I’ve done anything to her to deserve this treatment; I‘m good with the POS system, I offer help to customers when they need it and I try to go above and beyond to make sure my customers are happy with my service, I‘m a fast learner and I learn from my mistakes when they are pointed out, I show up on time and I get along with my colleagues. I do get flustered sometimes and I will occasionally zone out when it’s slow but I’m a human and I’m not perfect. I’m also a lot younger than her so I’m not sure why she has such an issue with me to the point where she feels the need to make it obvious.

I’m just not so sure what to do. I really dont want to leave the job but I also don’t want to clock in to a place where I‘m made to feel inferior.