u/Remarkable__Driver

We have a follow up appointment with a radiation oncologist and oncologist on Thursday to discuss options and next steps. Dr. Einhorn is recommending surgery to avoid the risk of secondary cancers from radiation.

If you had the decision between the two, what did you decide on and why?

Living in absolute hell right now. My spouse was diagnosed with cancer early this year. We found out he relapsed last week and chemo will start in a few weeks. The stress is high, and we are doing everything to stay calm as we figure this out and navigate the many doctor’s appointments.

Since finding out, my PDA son has been having massive meltdowns every day, saying incredibly hurtful things, throwing things, acting chaotic, and I don’t know how we are going to navigate this with him. As horrible as this sounds, part of me wants to send him to my parents out of state to get him out of the way so my spouse can heal without the distraction of PDA.

I tried telling my son what was going on to help enlighten him of the why, but this has absolutely backfired. He acts this way when other family members have birthdays too.

It isn’t fair for my spouse to have to be subjected to the behavior on top of everything else. I’m doing what I can to handle everything, but I’m at a loss. Melt downs were becoming infrequent until last week. Not really sure if anyone has advice or has gone through something similar but just needed to vent. This sucks.

Posting on my husband’s behalf. He received some bad news from the doctor today regarding an enlarged retroperitoneal lymph node moving him from Stage IA to Stage IIA. Recommended treatment is either BEP for three cycles or EP for 4 cycles or Carboplatin + RT. Due to the location of it, biopsy isn’t an option. He has an appointment with the oncologist next week to go through this.

We are absolutely bummed. He had an orchidectomy in January and scans have been clear for all follow ups so we got too comfortable in remission.

Would love guidance on these treatments and how they impacted you? Were you given a choice in treatment? If so, what did you choose? Is there anything I can do to help him through this?

Sorry for all of the questions. I’m trying to wrap my head around the idea that we are back in this.

I have been with my current company for 3 years in my current role. Over the course of those three years, my pay has increased about 15% from when I started. I had an annual evaluation a few months ago where I got exceeds expectations so I approached my manager with promotion opportunities. The response was that he is preparing me for it by giving me duties to practice my skills. The team I worked for has tripled in size since I started, and I am the most senior person on the team so I have stepped into a mentor role where I am getting to teach the rest of the team things and guide the team structure. While I don’t care about leadership progression as much, I have hit a bit of a ceiling in my role in professional growth, and I don’t see a clear direction. When our team grew, we also got a new manager who prefers to micromanage everything. It is making the environment more toxic. Needless to say, I started preparing my resume last month, getting it updated so I have options.

Recently, a headhunter reached out with an absolutely perfect role for me. It meets the requirements of what I would look for if I was actively looking. I have had a few calls with them, and I have an interview this week. The role would mean a 10-15% pay increase so not significant, but a good shift. It would mean working for a much smaller company on a smaller team. The benefits will likely not be as great as my current job. Because the company is smaller, there would definitely be opportunities for professional growth in my skills and abilities, but not necessarily leadership. It seems like a lateral move minus pay and opportunity. The expectations seem to be more strict than my current role as well (sales goals, etc). The whole process has been very seamless so far. So much so, I understand what this role would expect, and it has not been stressful at all.

I am doing my best to weigh my options ahead of this to prepare for this decision. Should I be offered the role, I plan to have a conversation with my boss, but it’s hard to fathom leaving my comfort zone. I love the team I work on, the work is flexible, and I fully understand what is expected of me. The new company would be a fresh start, growth opportunities, but potentially less flexible. I know I could always come back.

I could be offered this role, give notice, and start within a few weeks. I could be offered this role, talk to my boss, receive a matching offer, and stay. I could also not be offered this role and move on with my life.

How do people make this decision? If you took an offer after being headhunted, did you regret it?

We live in a state that banned plastic bags. While we use the occasional paper bag, most of the time, we rely on reusable bags. I am getting overwhelmed with the number of bags we are accumulating.

How many is reasonable to keep? My thought is ten seems like a good number so if my husband has some, there are still some left over for me. Most of the time, we use maybe 4 for groceries at most.