u/Riding_Hood786

The amount of criticism I see of not only authentic hadiths but also the Qur'an makes me think I ended up on r/exmuslim by accident.

Mods you need to do better.

Edit. As the mods will tell you, this sub is NOT for religious advice. So before you come at me, for not allowing the questioning of hadiths or Quran verses, maybe ask yourself why you have to do it on this sub?

You want answers to something you don't agree with or need doubts cleared up...go to a scholar or do some research.

I lost my husband five years ago due to COVID, and it is a loss I have never truly been able to get over. Up until that point, everything felt perfect. We had only been married for two and a half years, were still deeply in our honeymoon phase, and I had just given birth to our beautiful little daughter. Since his passing, it feels like it has been one trial after another, including the loss of my parents as well.

I’ve worked so hard over the past few years to pull myself out of a very dark place, and I am genuinely proud of and happy with the progress I’ve made.However, as I look ahead, I find myself deeply torn. Although I believe I can see myself with another man, I don't think I could ever love another man the way I loved my husband. I feel like it would be deeply unfair to anyone I were to marry if I couldn't give them that same love. At the same time, I don’t want to be alone forever. I would love a positive male figure in our household, a partner, and someone to care for me and share life with.

On top of that, I always dreamed of having a big family full of children. Even though I am only 36, I feel that dream slowly slipping away, though I also know that wanting more children isn't a fair or sufficient reason on its own to get married. And even if I did want to get married, I'm not sure how I would go about it. I don't have a wali in my life who could assist me, nor do I even know how I would pursue it in a halal fashion.

I lost my husband five years ago due to COVID, and it is a loss I have never truly been able to get over. Up until that point, everything felt perfect. We had only been married for two and a half years, were still deeply in our honeymoon phase, and I had just given birth to our beautiful little daughter. Since his passing, it feels like it has been one trial after another, including the loss of my parents as well.

I’ve worked so hard over the past few years to pull myself out of a very dark place, and I am genuinely proud of and happy with the progress I’ve made.However, as I look ahead, I find myself deeply torn. Although I believe I can see myself with another man, I don't think I could ever love another man the way I loved my husband. I feel like it would be deeply unfair to anyone I were to marry if I couldn't give them that same love. At the same time, I don’t want to be alone forever. I would love a positive male figure in our household, a partner, and someone to care for me and share life with.

On top of that, I always dreamed of having a big family full of children. Even though I am only 36, I feel that dream slowly slipping away, though I also know that wanting more children isn't a fair or sufficient reason on its own to get married. And even if I did want to get married, I'm not sure how I would go about it. I don't have a wali in my life who could assist me, nor do I even know how I would pursue it in a halal fashion.