u/RigorMortisSex

So I'm still nursing my 20 month old and still plan to for at least another 6 months. I'm just CONSTANTLY tired and exhausted, baby sleeps around 12 hours a night with 2 night wake ups to nurse, so I get good sleep. Her night nursing sessions are literally just nursing for 5 mins, unlatching, and going right back asleep. So I'm not awake for longer than 10mins during the night feeds. Whether I get 3 hours of sleep or 9, I'm still exhausted. I don't remember the last time I woke up feeling refreshed.

I used to take breastfeeding vitamins but was bad at remembering them so I just stopped. I live off caffeine, I don't go over the BFing limit of course. But if I didn't have caffeine then I'm in for a seriously shitty day.

I hate feeling this way, and I can't help but think that I'm deficient in something. But baby nurses a lot less than the first year, so shouldn't I be feeling more energetic, not less? Does anyone recommend anything? Does taking breastfeeding vitamins regularly actually help anyone with fatigue?

Everyone told me having a baby young is better because I'll have more energy for them (not the reason I had a baby tho lol), but I'm constantly tired so I don't get why people say that 🤣

So my little one is 20 months and still in a parent facing buggy, it's the Panorama XTi. We absolutely love the pram, had it since she was born and it's been through a lot and still no faults with it. Only thing is now baby is too big for it. Max weight is 15kg and baby was 10kg at her 12 months PHN app. She hasn't been weighed since, but safe to assume she's over the weight limit. She's too tall for it now, she can sit in it grand but if she's asleep and is lied back in it, she's just huge in it.

Finding a good toddler buggy that parent faces is so hard! She loves facing us, we have the chats and she still looks around at everything. We've faced her outwards before and she (and myself) hated it.

Anyone any recommendations for a pram that faces parents for a bigger child?

I just need to have a vent. I'm feeling so much guilt. I am no contact with both of my parents for reasons I won't get into, but to make a long story short I have my reasons and it's not something I did for fun.

I have an almost 2 year old, and I just feel bad that she has basically no grandparents. My partner/babys dad has his mom, but she lives far and her house is not a safe environment for a child (again reasons I won't get into, sorry for being vague, but trust me they're very valid reasons.) We've told her multiple times why we won't go to her house, and that she's welcome to come to us anytime, or meet us somewhere, but she never has. His dad has passed so no grandfather on that side.

I loved my grandparents growing up, I loved going to my grandparents, and I grieve the lack of that for my daughter. She has two parents that love and adore the ground she walks on, and a handful of other family members, but I just worry she'll grow up and resent us for keeping her grandparents out of her life. I can't exactly sit her down and explain all of the reasons why she can't see them, I don't want to expose her to things like abuse until she's old enough to comprehend. I also don't want to bad mouth relatives to her? My mom and dad hated eachother and frequently bad mouthed eachother to me as a kid, and it made me extremely uncomfortable even as a small child.

Just feeling a lot of guilt, I wish she had this big extended family that I had growing up, but she won't. That makes me sad, and makes me second guess the trauma and distrust I have from my parents and makes me wonder if I really am making the right decision. I was no/low contact with both of them before I even got pregnant, my dad doesn't even know I was ever pregnant and now have a child.

I just hope she doesn't hate me for it when she's older, and sees that it really is the best thing for her not to have contact with my parents. I've been grieving my living parents for years already as their daughter, but now it's 2x grief for my own daughter not having grandparents. It just sucks.