u/RoonilWazleeb

I live in an older house in Garden Home. It’s about to be my second fall in the house, and the first was a doozy with the giant house spiders. I’ve already seen a few smaller ones and vacuumed them up, so I’m bracing myself for an even worse fall given how warm it’s been.

I know they’re harmless, but we’ve had literal mouse sized spiders and I simply cannot handle it. They get too large for our designated spider vacuum. I’ve even heard my husband scream when he’s come across them. They’ve crawled across me in bed, out of toilet paper rolls, into my medicine cabinet, under our rugs, and in the shower curtain. My poor heart cannot take any more jumpscares.

Does anyone have any advice on spider proofing the house before fall? Companies they recommend? Basic tips? Is this typical for the area or is our home just cursed?

I’ve been hosting for a year and just had my first scam attempt. A guest was giving me problems from the start (requesting policy exceptions, trying to get me to somehow give her insurance??) and I respectfully stuck to my policies but did offer her early check in.

On day 6 of a 10 day stay (at midnight), she claims the house is infested with mice and she wanted to end her stay. Supposedly they were running across the living room floor and over her toes and eating her food. She was up all night texting me every two hours that she “saw another one.” I asked her for pictures and descriptions of where she was seeing them, so I could tell the exterminator. She did send me a picture of 3 mouse droppings on the counter but was unable to provide more evidence.

I agreed to allow her to change her stay, so she sent me the change request and I approved it. It automatically refunded her the remaining days.

I told her I was shocked to hear about the mice, as we have the house checked for any rodent activity at least every other week (and I have a years worth of written reports showing ZERO signs of mice). I said that I take this very seriously and will have an exterminator out in the morning.

She first asked for an additional night’s refund. I agreed and sent her a change request for another night of money. She declined the request, and then asked for 3 more days. I ignored her request (mainly because it was 4 am and I fell asleep), and I woke up to her demanding a FULL refund - over $1,500.

I have not yet replied to her message. She left me a review but I can’t see it yet. The exterminator came out today and gave me a written report saying the only signs of mice were the 3 droppings in the same spot as the guest’s photo. He even wrote “no infestation” in his report and said he proactively plugged every hole into the house just in case, and set traps he would monitor over the next ten days.

I haven’t done anything beyond refunding her the remaining days (which was automatically done when I accepted her change request). I haven’t left her a review, and she hasn’t filed an official refund claim.

I am rated 4.94 stars and am in the top homes in my area. The house is professionally cleaned after every guest and reviews consistently mention how it’s spotless. It is in a wooded rural area, and mice are unfortunately a well known fact of life in the region. I’m very proud to have no mouse activity in over a year, but realistically I know there will be rare incidents (as with any rural house). I have traps set year round, and extra traps for guests should they need them.

With all my evidence: a years worth of documented rodent checks, and a clean report from the exterminator a day after the guest checked out, should I pre-emptively report the guest for an attempted scam? Even though she hasn’t filed an official refund claim? I will absolutely dispute her review when it goes public, but should I take any further action?

Thanks in advance for your help.

Hello, my husband and I are considering attending an upcoming Retrouvaille retreat, after seeing an ad in our parish bulletin.

We both had rough childhoods and I was in a few abusive relationships in my early 20s. We want to work on our communication now (before kids!), since we never learned healthy communication tools from parents or past partners. We’re both in individual therapy and have been for a while.

I’d love to hear about people’s experiences, whether it’s yours or someone you know. Please be HONEST! Even if you had a bad experience (because tbh I’m a little skeptical). It’s difficult to find reviews online and it’s a huge time/money commitment so I want to make an informed decision.

Thanks in advance :)

My husband has a 7 year old border collie with a bite history. I’ve known my husband for 4 years now, and got married last year, so I have only been living with the dog for a year. I’ve had no say or responsibility in the dog’s training, mainly because I’ve been afraid of him since day one, and my husband is extremely stubborn and won’t take any advice. He was only 20 when he adopted the border collie as a puppy without doing any research on what it takes to care for the breed.

The dog stays with my in-laws during the day while we are at work, then comes home to us. Last week, the dog attacked a visitor to my in-laws house. He bit multiple times, and broke the man’s hand (Level 4 bites I think). This is the dog’s 4th bite, and (at least) the second Level 4 bites. The previous 3 bites were to my husband, who chose to just go to the doctor, then carry on like nothing happened.

I am no longer comfortable being around the dog, and told my husband that if the dog is at our house, I’m moving in with my parents. So the dog has stayed at my in-laws since the incident.

My mother-in-law, a tiny elderly woman, literally had to fight this 60 lb dog off the man to get him to stop biting and attacking. Yet she sees absolutely no issue keeping the dog in her house without additional training or supervision. The dog is triggered by food and resource guarding, yet they’re allowing him to be in the room while they’re eating (which is what provoked last week’s bite).

We have a behavioral consultation scheduled for end of August. Unfortunately that’s the soonest available. My husband refuses to take any help or advice surrounding the dog and its care. His parents are the same. I feel absolutely helpless here - the red flags are glaring, so many mistakes have been made, and everyone around the dog is in danger. My biggest fear is that he bites someone else and I’m held liable (we are in a strict liability for dog bites state and I share finances with my husband).

Besides refusing to be around the dog, is there anything I can do to keep me and my family safe? This might be more of a psychological question, but why is everyone acting so willfully blind to the danger here? And is there ANYTHING I can do to get through to them?? Resources I can direct them to?

And has anyone had any luck training an older dog with a Level 4 bite history? Or is BE really our only option at this point (not that I have a say).

TL;DR - need advice on getting stubborn people to understand the danger involved with a dog who has a Level 4 bite history. My marriage is on the line here, it literally is “me or the dog” like the old tv show

A family member has a 7 year old border collie mix with a bite history. He’s bitten his owner 3 times over the course of his life, the last was about 2.5 years ago and a level 3 or 4 on the Dunbar Scale (I wasn’t there, I’m only estimating the level based on what I was told).

Unfortunately no training was implemented and the dog continued to have poor behavior- snapping, snarling, growling, resource guarding, etc. He’s a very sweet dog 90% of the time, but can be terrifying if put in certain situations.

Last week the border collie attacked someone, mid pet. Again, I wasn’t there so I can’t provide any information beyond what I was told (I’m frustrated I don’t know more too). But the dog knew the person, never had any issues with him, was accepting pets and seemed happy, then absolutely flipped out. He lunged on this man, bit both of his hands multiple times, broke the skin, and even BROKE HIS BONE.

I’m assuming this is a level 4 or 5 on the Dunbar scale. No one can tell me if the dog was shaking his head (this seems important to determine the level of severity). My mother in law did have to kick the dog to get the attack to stop.

The entire family is arguing now about what to do with this dog. He’s a beloved pet, I’ve fallen in love with him too, but I’m also very scared of him and have refused to be alone with him for years. Some family members are saying he needs to be put down immediately, others are saying if he’s put down they’ll never forgive his owner. Local trainers won’t return our phone calls or emails.

I don’t have a say in this (not my dog), but I was hoping to get feedback from people more knowledgeable than me. Have you ever dealt with a border collie who has a level 4 or 5 bite history? Was training or rehabilitation even possible?

Thank you in advance for any insight. The situation has been devastating for everyone involved.

I had a backpacking trip planned that is now cancelled due to rain and snow forecasted. I live in Portland and I’m looking for either a base camp setup with day hiking, or an easy backpacking trip. I’m okay with either some light rain or colder weather, but not both, no snow, and not an all day downpour.

Does anyone else have ideas for this weekend they’d be willing to share? Or suggestions? Are you gonna brave the weather? What areas do you think would be the least miserable?

My backup plan if I can’t find anything closer is to drive down to the redwoods tonight since it’s the only place I can find with decent weather. No one wants to join for such a long drive, and I’m not comfortable backpacking alone, so I’d car camp. Kinda sad to travel alone too but if it comes down to that or sitting in my house all weekend in the rain… I’m going alone lol.

I’m in my late 20s and haven’t lived with my parents in 12 years. A lot of my childhood belongings are at their house, as well as some clothing. My mom has said over and over again that she doesn’t mind holding on to it.

But the problem is that she keeps dumping stuff on me, and claiming it’s mine when it’s not, and then blaming me for her hoard because of my neatly organized belongings that take up one closet in her massive house. I have all my things clearly labeled so there’s no confusion or ability to shift blame onto me (ask me why I learned I had to do this).

Every once in a while my mom will come up with a list of “my” stuff that she NEEDS to drop off at my house RIGHT NOW. She lives 45 minutes away and will drive over just to drop off a trash bag of stuff. My husband and I refuse to give her a key to our house so she insists on leaving it in my car. It feels like every time I clean my car, she decides to do another drop and I get so anxious I can’t look at the pile and it just lives in my car for a bit.

Every once in a while, an actual belonging of mine is included in the dump. But 9 out of every 10 items is something she’s convinced herself is “mine.” For example, a pair of goodwill pants she bought for me without asking. Or a bag of plastic grocery bags she thought I’d want to use as trash can liners. Or random Temu junk she bought for me without asking. Or shit from when I was in college and haven’t looked at since (a broken shower caddy I thought was long thrown out but was actually sitting in her house for 9 years).

I’ve asked her to start telling me EXACTLY what is in the pile of “my” stuff before I consent to receiving it. She has somewhat complied, but she still sneaks in a bunch of random things no matter how many times I ask her not to. Sometimes she will even buy like 6 boxes of my favorite Mac and cheese and include that. (She hoards food, her garage is like a doomsday prepper bunker, but her motivation is that when something is a good price she needs 25 of it)

I don’t want to give up all my childhood toys and memories. My husband and I have a tiny house and our garage is under renovation after a flood so our storage space is gone (this is an ongoing frustration with my husband for his lack of urgency in fixing it). My mom is essentially holding my stuff hostage and using it as an excuse to dump shit on me, because she knows I value my sentimental childhood toys.

Is she doing this intentionally to exert control? Is this hoard creep? Am I a monster for turning down gifts from my mom? On one hand I appreciate that she will buy things when she’s thinking of me, but it’s far too much.

My sister has taken the route of “everything in mom’s house belongs to her now” because she’s not as sentimental as me. She’s put all her childhood belongings into my mom’s hands because she can’t mentally handle the drama. If it gets tossed, so be it. Do I need to do this too?

I know the ideal situation is that I take all my stuff out, but I don’t feel comfortable going over there without my husband. In the past, this has turned into screaming matches and arguments about “my” mess. My mom won’t allow my husband in the house because she’s ashamed of her hoard and convinced herself he’s the villain who’s turning me against her.

Any help at all would be appreciated. I’ve been trying to break out of the hoard for 15 years and I just can’t escape the ugly grasp.

My husband and I live in Garden Home and are struggling to make friends. We’re 29, with no kids. We are both very active and love the outdoors.

We are trying to join a run club to meet people around our age in similar life positions. Is there a running club in southwest Portland? Tigard area would be great. I’ve looked through several Portland area run club lists but almost every is Hillsboro or north Portland. I found one in LO I might check out this Thursday, but it would be great to meet people in our area.

Weekday evening runs would be best because we are usually off hiking on weekends

Our family learned a scary lesson this week about salmon poisoning, so I wanted to share it with everyone I know to hopefully keep other dogs safe. This was removed from the other Portland sub for some reason? So I thought I'd share here, because it's very relevant to the Portland area.

My husband went fishing last week at Vernonia Lake and caught several trout. As he was cleaning the fish, our border collie snuck into the trash and started eating the guts. He only had a bite or two before we grabbed him and put him in a different room. Not ideal, but he's eaten worse. 6 days later, after a week of totally normal behavior, he stopped eating, was super lethargic, and was breathing at 58 breaths per minute (normal for dogs is 15-30). He also had a 106 degree fever.

We rushed him to the vet ER and they diagnosed him with "salmon poisoning." It is a parasite found in many fish in the entire Pacific Northwest, not just salmon. If untreated, it is 90% fatal. Symptoms appear 6-10 days after exposure. It is possible for a dog to get infected just by licking a raw fish, but it is most potent in the guts.

Our border collie is still in the hospital, but will likely be okay because we caught it so early. Most cases aren't caught until the dog starts vomiting, around the 4th day of symptoms. We are still very worried, but feel so lucky we noticed the change in his behavior and took him in.

I wanted to share this because many people have never heard of it! Obviously we didn't want to feed him raw fish, but we blinked and he was in the trash. Lesson learned to put him in a crate before cleaning fish in the future. Some people actually feed their dogs raw salmon/trout intentionally, because they're totally unaware of salmon poisoning. I think more people should know about it so they're not putting their dogs health at risk! Be mindful of your dog when walking by lakes/rivers with fish, especially where fishermen might be cleaning the guts, and NEVER feed your dog raw fish (especially if caught in the PNW - assume every fish is infected).

Our family learned a scary lesson this week about salmon poisoning, so I wanted to share it with everyone I know to hopefully keep other dogs safe.

My husband went fishing last week at a stocked lake in Oregon, and caught several trout. As he was cleaning the fish, our border collie snuck into the trash and started eating the guts. He only had a bite or two before we grabbed him and put him in a different room. Not ideal, but he's eaten worse. 6 days later, after a week of totally normal behavior, he stopped eating, was super lethargic, and was breathing at 58 breaths per minute (normal for dogs is 15-30). He also had a 106 degree fever.

We rushed him to the vet ER and they diagnosed him with "salmon poisoning." It is a parasite found in many fish in the entire Pacific Northwest, not just salmon. If untreated, it is 90% fatal. Symptoms appear 6-10 days after exposure. It is possible for a dog to get infected just by licking a raw fish, but it is most potent in the guts.

Our border collie is still in the hospital, but will likely be okay because we caught it so early. Most cases aren't caught until the dog starts vomiting, around the 4th day of symptoms. We are still very worried, but feel so lucky we noticed the change in his behavior and took him in.

I wanted to share this because many people have never heard of it! Obviously we didn't want to feed him raw fish, but we blinked and he was in the trash. Lesson learned to put him in a crate before cleaning fish in the future. Some people actually feed their dogs raw salmon/trout intentionally, because they're totally unaware of salmon poisoning. I think more people should know about it so they're not putting their dogs health at risk! Be mindful of your dog when walking by lakes/rivers with fish, especially where fishermen might be cleaning the guts, and NEVER feed your dog raw fish (especially if caught in the PNW - assume every fish is infected).

I’m on my 4th disappointing needle purchase with Amazon and Hobby Lobby, could use all the help I can get!

I recently started loom beading with 11/0 seed beads and I can’t for the life of me find a needle that works. I’m using a No. 10 needle from Hobby Lobby and size D thread. With the Hobby Lobby needle, I can thread it with immense difficulty - like holding my breath, need absolute silence in the house so I can focus, takes me 10+ tries.

Even after threading the needle, I struggle to pass it through the seed beads in the loom and my bracelet gets wonky from me yanking on the needle so much.

I tried ordering a collapsible seed bead needle from Amazon and the needles I ordered (that promised to fit 11/0 beads) were laughably huge and the “collapsible” eye didn’t even stand a chance at making it through.

Please please please does anyone have a recommendation for a proper needle and way to thread it?! I will pay a pretty penny at this point, because if I can’t find a solution I’m tossing the loom. This was supposed to bring me peace but my heart rate SPIKES just thinking of threading the needle lol

I’m posting on behalf of my husband who’s planning a solo backpacking trip through the Wind River, Wyoming area this summer. He’s extremely experienced with backpacking and mountaineering, so that’s not an issue.

We are from the PNW and he has never had to worry about grizzlies (except for a trip to the Selkirks where grizzlies are supposedly rare, but a few members of his group were bluff charged by a mama grizzly).

He is planning about 6 days, only about 8 miles a day so that he can spend evenings fishing. He will be taking our 7 year old border collie.

Is this a safe trail to do solo with a dog, grizzly bear wise? He has bear spray, knows how to use bear bags/canisters, and researched if he should take a gun but saw most people advise against. I’m not worried about his abilities at all, just bear danger. The news from Yellowstone this morning spooked me enough that I thought I’d ask. Thank you!