u/Routine_Comment_7408

Like I have a few office colleague who are facing some sort of difficulty or inconvenience because of water flooding.

And you wish someone good health or speedy recovery when they are sick. But we need to come up with wishes/blessings when your locality is flooded in Mumbai.

I mean this is here to stay, and it's gonna happen every year with varying magnitude. So let's come up with a proper standardized wishes to send our friends across the town.

You can't say 'bhagwan Tera pani kam kare'. That just sounds like a curse for 8/ 12 months even in Mumbai.

You can't say 'stay safe' because why scare them. He/she is a Mumbaikar; they have to go to office in that rain. Because obviously giving WFH would be too much for the organisations.

M 35, married for 4 years and together for 14 years. AMA

Survived long distance, years of convincing parents, struggles of pre and post intercaste marriage, countless fights and numerous challenges.

Not sure what to expect out of this or if I am even qualified to answer the questions presented. But here's to trying to be a wise semi-old man. And lend my (so called) wisdom.

DMs are always welcomed if the issue is sensitive.

It has not been part of our culture for last 4 5 centuries. But I think the folks before that understood just how vital sex is, especially for newly weds.

Sex releases oxytocin, strengthens emotional bond and reduces stress. Physical intimacy stabilizes hormones around mood and well-being while releasing endorphins that decrease irritability and depression.

Engaging in sexual activity lowers cortisol and adrenaline (the primary stress-response hormones), helping your nervous system settle and making you more resilient

Regular physical connection makes couples feel closer, which can reduce the severity of fights. Not all of us are good at being vulnerable. But being naked is being vulnerable. So sex is also a great path to intimacy even if it is a cheap replacement of intimacy at times.

Now this goes without saying that it must always, without any exception be consensual.

And I am not advocating meaningless encounters, but please wet the bedsheets as much as possible.

A lot of anger and unhappiness I see on this subreddit comes from people comparing their lives with these arbitrary and made up benchmarks. And I see where that comes from, you are constantly bombarded with the flex of your peers. It's not a thing invented in last couple of decades. But social media has taken things to absolute stratosphere.

I am here to tell you that everyone should atleast once listen to J Cole. Like really listen to his lyrics. The man packed so much wisdom in a single song 'Love Yourz!', that it should be taught in academics. Here are few things the poet wishes to express:

*No such thing as a life that's better than yours!*

*No such thing, no such thing!*

*I grew up in the city and know sometimes we had less*

*Compared to some my ni\*\*as down the block, man, we were blessed*!

This holds true for practically everyone. We often don't realise our own privileges. But a little gratitude in life goes a long way.

Comparing your life to others will always make you feel shitty, no matter where you are.

*Always gon' be a bigger house somewhere, but ni\*"a, feel me*

*Long as the people in that motherfu\*\*\*r love you dearly*

*Always gon' be a whip (Car) that's better than the one you got*

*Always gon' be some clothes that's fresher than the ones you rock*

*Always gon' be a bi\*\*h that's badder out there on the tours*

*But you ain't never gon' be happy 'til you love yours*

Lastly we all have convinced ourselves that if only I get this or reach this mark, I'll be finally complete. I'll be finally happy and content. But it really isn't the case.

Because as Cole Baba says

*It's beauty in the struggle, ugliness in the success*

It's 2026.

Do we really still need beauty ads whispering the same tired message?

You'll feel confident.

You'll look prettier.

Fix at that damaged hair.

Get rid of that dry skin

You'll finally be enough.

Kindly, fuck off.

The beauty industry has spent decades monetizing insecurity. Not because women needed fixing, but because confident people don't buy as many "solutions."

Study after study has linked repeated exposure to idealized beauty advertising with increased body dissatisfaction, self-objectification, and lower self-esteem—especially among young women. The effects are even stronger in the age of targeted ads and algorithmic feeds. Facebook's internal study spoke of the damage Instagram did to the young women.

A woman's dark circles aren't flaws.

Stretch marks aren't flaws.

Body hair isn't a flaw.

Messy hair isn't a flaw.

Acne isn't a flaw.

They're evidence of being a human being. A living being with functioning bodies, thoughts, opinions, dreams, aspirations and a lot of intangible that goes beyond outward beauty. But there's no money in that, is there ?

Some of the most beautiful women you'll ever meet have all of these. Most men couldn't care less about the microscopic "imperfections" the beauty industry has convinced women to obsess over.

Wear makeup if it makes you happy.

Don't wear it if you don't.

The problem isn't makeup.

The problem is an industry that spends billions making girls believe confidence comes in a bottle.

Imagine telling a 14-year-old that she's enough exactly as she is instead of selling her a ten-step routine before she's old enough to vote.

Women are not "before" pictures waiting to become "after" pictures.

Dear cosmetic companies,

Thank you for funding generations of insecurity in the name of empowerment.

Fuck you to the moon and back.

35M married for 5, together for 14 years. And here's my perspective based on what I've seen around me.

People don't really understand Love, they have a good enough idea of what romance is, what infatuation is. Because on surface Love is the opposite of romance.

See Love is not coffee dates, it's grocery shopping at D Mart.

Love is not a nice vacation together, it's cleaning the kitchen after you are together.

Grand gesture is actually a cheap trick. Because Love requires you to sit besides your sick love, preferably worried and not doom scrolling.

Love is not just intimacy, it is the permission to be absolutely vulnerable and to be naked emotionally and mentally. To be able to be your absolute worst and have someone embrace you in that state.

Love nurtures, let's you be silly and almost without an exception help you grow better. If it doesn't, you're not in love.

Good part is, neither is the majority.

Everything that people think of when love is either infatuation, attracting your bae, dating or in some cases even lust. But Love requires you to be comfortable in the uncomfortable silence. To be able to fart without shame (albeit with little embarrassment).

Don't let go of the romance and don't stop dating. Those aspects are absolutely crucial; But be mindful that life is significantly more vast.

No wonder people are struggling with Love.

35M married for 5, together for 14 years. And here's my perspective on what I've seen around me.

People don't really understand Love, they have a good enough idea of what romance is, what infatuation is. Because on surface Love is the opposite of romance.

See Love is not coffee dates, it's grocery shopping at D Mart.

Love is not a nice vacation together, it's cleaning the kitchen after you are together.

Grand gesture is actually a cheap trick. Because Love requires you to sit besides your sick love, preferably worried and not doom scrolling.

Love is not just intimacy, it is the permission to be absolutely vulnerable and to be naked emotionally and mentally. To be able to be your absolute worst and have someone embrace you in that state.

Love nurtures, let's you be silly and almost without an exception help you grow better. If it doesn't, you're not in love. Good part is, neither is the majority.

Everything that people think of when love is either infatuation, attracting your bae, dating or in some cases even lust. But Love requires you to be comfortable in the uncomfortable silence. To be able to fart without shame (albeit with little embarrassment).

Don't let go of the romance and don't stop dating. Those aspects are absolutely crucial; But be mindful that life is significantly more vast that our limited idea of what love is.

No wonder people are struggling with Love.

​

Rest of the days are covered in the North, flic n flac and Chamarel.

Need suggestions for South please.

Appreciate your input.

They were designed for cold European weather, especially United Kingdom. Ties symbolized discipline and status in layered winter clothing. A man who doesn't need to do manual labor wore one. Leather shoes made sense in cold, wet industrial cities.

Then the British exported that entire idea of “professional appearance” to colonies like India.

Why are we forcing some poor guy travelling from Dombivli in a packed slow local at 8:30 AM in 39°C heat and Mumbai humidity to be strangled by a necktie.

How is this climate or geography appropriate attire?

It’s just colonial residue we never questioned.

I'll infact insist on Mumbai's official attire being shorts and loose shirts. But that's a battle for next decade.

In all seriousness though, to me it represents a larger more worrying point. We have stopped asking questions and have been defending the status quo fanatically.

Growing up has always been confusing. For boys and girls both. But boys today are growing up in a very weird time. Earlier people actually met each other. Hung out. Argued. Fought. Got corrected. Sometimes harshly too.

Men kept other men grounded.

Now everything is online. Every app becomes an echo chamber. And sorry, but places like Reddit can turn into an absolute cesspool of angry people validating each other’s worst thoughts.

And then Bollywood jumps in and makes it worse.

These films keep selling this fake image of what a “real man” is supposed to be. Angry. Controlling. Emotionally numb. Treating women badly but still getting glorified for it. Young boys watch this stuff daily and slowly start believing this is confidence or strength.

It’s not.

Bollywood keeps packaging insecurity and aggression as masculinity. That harms everyone. Boys grow up thinking empathy is weakness. Girls grow up dealing with men who think being toxic makes them powerful.

Internet algorithms make the whole thing uglier. Add AI into it and the spiral gets even worse.

Imagine being 15 and searching “why did she not like me?” Now your entire feed is filled with rage bait, alpha male garbage, manipulation tactics and podcasts teaching you to hate women instead of handling rejection like a normal person.

That stuff gets into young minds.

There are powerful forces shaping a fucked up version of what manhood should look like today. Bollywood is happily pouring fuel on an already burning fire.

Growing up has always been confusing. For boys and girls both. But boys today are growing up in a very weird time. Earlier people actually met each other. Hung out. Argued. Fought. Got corrected. Sometimes harshly too.

Men kept other men grounded.

Now everything is online. Every app becomes an echo chamber. And sorry, but places like Reddit can turn into an absolute cesspool of angry people validating each other’s worst thoughts.

And then Bollywood jumps in and makes it worse.

These films keep selling this fake image of what a “real man” is supposed to be. Angry. Controlling. Emotionally numb. Treating women badly but still getting glorified for it. Young boys watch this stuff daily and slowly start believing this is confidence or strength.

It’s not.

Bollywood keeps packaging insecurity and aggression as masculinity. That harms everyone. Boys grow up thinking empathy is weakness. Girls grow up dealing with men who think being toxic makes them powerful.

Internet algorithms make the whole thing uglier. Add AI into it and the spiral gets even worse.

Imagine being 15 and searching “why did she not like me?” Now your entire feed is filled with rage bait, alpha male garbage, manipulation tactics and podcasts teaching you to hate women instead of handling rejection like a normal person.

That stuff gets into young minds.

There are powerful forces shaping a fucked up version of what manhood should look like today. Bollywood is happily pouring fuel on an already burning fire.

Obviously this isn't applicable to the entire genre but is too in your face to ignore these few years. I think that action movies have a lot of spectacle over substance. The movie is built around props like chase scenes, fights, explosions and the story becomes connective tissue instead of the trunk.

And the stakes are always coerced/ manufacturered into superlatives.

If the world is perpetually almost ending, this man's journey is absolutely irrelevant, something very fucked up is going on.

If the hero is the only one who can pull off the mission, you're a failed State.

If you defused the bomb at the very last second, you're not a hero. You're an incompetent moron who has no business being near the bomb.

Second, the success of movie is dependent on the charm of the lead rather than anything else. Prince (2010) was a decent action movie and had they cast Hritik instead of Vivek Oberoi in the lead role, it would have been the biggest movie of that year. There is seldom a character arc or even a complex protagonist. It's about look how awesome this star is!!!!

Like I honestly lost count of how many slow motion entries Rocky Bhai did in both movies combined.

And don't even get me started on the superhero movies. Like if Iron man can shoot a tiny rocket without even pulling a trigger, why TF are you punching anyone bro ?

That made sense when almost all work was quantifiable, repetitive and predefined with little to no variance.

Most work today is non linear and a mixture of thinking, creating, problem-solving, and context-switching. You can spend spend 2 days on a task without making any progress. And there are times when you would crack a problem in a couple of hours.

So if we're not very certain what per worker output means exactly, how can we realistically focus on individual productivity ?

The so called Titans of tech gloat about increasing the productivity. But they don't even know what productivity means today and what's a quantifyable metric to measure it.

So we all (leadership more than managers) keep relying on what worked in past or how our mentors operated. Measure the effort. Well not exactly because even that is abstract, so let's try to measure time spent.

More time = Hardworking.

Less time = Lazy/not dedicated.

Always busy = Very productive.