u/Rude_Tomatillo3463

So I’ve gotten on 2 different bulls for a total of 3 times. I didn’t last long at all on them and it all felt chaotic. However, I got on a mechanical bull recently and it clicked in my head how my hips are supposed to buck with the motion. Prior to getting on real bulls, getting on mechanical bulls felt like I was muscling my way through.

My question is, are mechanical bulls helpful for teaching me how to move on a real bull? I understand they don’t move the same as real bulls but can I get something from using a mechanical bull?

Can anyone share the soapbox 50% off with aisle at target?

I’ve (M27) noticed twice now that whenever I open myself up to connect with a woman and build a relationship, one romantic, and one therapeutic, I begin to question whether I’m trans once it ends.

Part of me thinks that my mind is trying to cope with the loss and grief of never seeing nor contacting these people again so in some way, becoming them will help me live in denial that it’s truly over and at least I can see a woman’s face in the mirror and tell myself that I’m worthy and I’m good enough and that I don’t need them to validate my existence as a human.

I suspect that my brain is trying to cope with the immense grief somehow. As long as I see a woman’s face in the mirror, I am validated and I am worthy because I can smile at myself and see the acceptance of a woman. I feel like I’m craving a woman’s validation so much, I’m willing to become one to give myself that.

I should mention I have C-PTSD and have severe attachment issues as well a plethora of other things going on.

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I’ve (M 27) been confused about this due to the fact that I’ve experienced a lot of gender envy and mistook it as attraction. I’ve also just thought it was due to my CPTSD and though it may be, I’ve never felt “manly”.

I’ve always felt uncomfortable in my own skin and trying to live as I am is exhausting. Though it’s safer to live as a man, I can no longer pretend that it aligns with me.

Any advice, tips? How can I start to feel more like a woman? How do you know it’s not just trauma and isolation that’s confusing me?

Edit: What’s the difference between trans and non binary? Would I be trying to lead a double life by saying I’m non binary rather than trans?

Is the ice cream cup from chick fil a safe? Idk if it get contaminated somehow.

Comment first before chatting

I’m really struggling as of late to make meals. I’m struggling with my mental health and I’ve been relying on eggs, bananas, apples, avocados, nuts, rice, beans, and potatoes but I imagine there’s some nutritional deficiencies.

I’m also a broke college student. Does anyone one have any recommendations for how I can switch it up? I add in random veggies and fruits to a smoothie blender but I’ve been binging random processed food lately, also due to stress. I know I’d be better if I had larger portions but I’m struggling with finances.

Any tips?

Does anyone know where there is a public piano(s) in El Paso?