u/SLED4002

Hi All, im speaking to a guy who fly's corporate private jets and has a similar schedule to any other pilot, multiple days on , multiple days off.

Whats a realistic relationship like, do you find the time away too much, is it hard having a family?

I work for my family but 8-5 pretty much so im struggling to see if it would work, but we're both very interesed in each other.

Im in the UK if that makes any difference if anyone has some advice

My partner (M27 - n dx) and I (F22)have been together for 4 years and have lived together for 2 years now, but we seem to be having the same conversations all the time about housework and his messiness.

I'm getting fed up having to do everyone and constantly tidying up after him / asking him to do things but he keeps taking it as in nagging him all the time and my response is usually 'well if you just did the task I wouldn't have to keep asking'.

These things include, helping put the washing machine on, put clothes away, generally just keep tidy as he'll do something and never put things back so its all left out. If i ask to tidy something he'll often just move it from one place to another which infuriates me even more.

I'm not OCD I just want a generally tidy home.

*Worth noting too that our bathroom is also upstairs, so whenever guests are round they have to go upstairs and pass the bedrooms and my partners office which is all over the place and the floor is covered, to get to the bathroom. I start work earlier and he works from home anyway so even trying to get him to do the bed doesnt happen, i mean is it really that hard to just flatten a duvet?

He says I expect too much of him and wants me to always so please can you do this thank you etc like a child doing a chore, but to me it's just being an adult.

Is there a way to improve this situation?

Me (F22) and my partner (M27) have been dating for almost 4 years and bought a home together almost 2 years ago.

context: I knew before we moved in together he was a bit of a mamas boy and since we've lived together its gotten a bit better. He has a great job in IT with a 62k salary and other income from a small rental, very nice guy and also works from home. I on the other hand work in office everyday on half the salary and have always been a pretty independent person in comparison.

Our home was fairly good when we moved in just. few odd jobs like sanding and painting walls etc that needed to be done but my partner says he doesnt like painting so wont bother doing it. But this same situation goes for kinda everything thats remotely DIY related e.g. our bath was leaking a bit through the ceiling and it was obvious to me the sealant just needed topping up. Still, instead of doing it, he will call his dad and ask him to check it out (carpenter/site foreman). Even the littlest thing he calls his dad for and i'm not against asking for advice for things but when its little things that can be easily be sorted its a bit embarrassing. Yes i could do some of these things myself but I would then be doing almost everything in our household, including the majority of the cleaning, all cooking, food shopping etc. Am i being dramatic for wanting him to be more manly and independent, it's not like i'm asking him to replaster or build a house?

I also expect that when i come home from work that any washing especially made by him during breakfast/lunch is washed up and out away before I come home as it just annoys me seeing things need to be done all the time.

Lastly, more on him being independent but i'm also not sure how to talk about this in the correct way as its a bit of a sensitive topic, he gets stressed out very easily and then has severe sleeping issues. When this occurs he tends to retreat back to his parents home so he can be around them and says he can "sleep better" as he lives there his whole life until he moved out 2 years ago so its familiar. We recently planned to temporarily move to the scottish highalnds from the south of england for a change as we love it there, but as soon as he mentioned the idea to his parents they said its far away from family and he basically crumbled and only wants to be a cycle away from his parents forever.

Theres a few more things but i'll keep it breif.

Am i the asshole for wanting more from him?

TL;DR Am I being too much by asking him to step up and be more of a man and make his own decisions? The mental load of planning our future, doing things around the house is killing me off a bit.

me 22f and partner 27M have been quite up and down recently and i'm not sure what to do about it.
Backstory: We've been together for almost 4 years and bought a home together almost 2 years ago in our home town. We enjoy a lot of things together especially roadtrips and even planned on moving to the highlands of scotland for a while as we love it everytime we go and its not too far from home in the grand scheme of things (8-10hr drive or 50 minute flight, to south of the UK).

My reason for questioning our relationship is that I'm now struggling to see our future. I'm ready to start thinking more about marriage and kids, which we both want, but my partner is scared of such life changes, and whenever i ask about what he sees in our future his response is along the lines of 'Im not sure' or 'married with a family and lots of outdoors' though i feel ike he just says that for me. We were planning on moving to Scotland for a year or two and were pretty serious about it. But now he's gone back on all plans and ideas especially after talking to his parents alone about the idea (they're a pretty close family and very much a mummys boy situation). My point is basically that i feel like i'm not going anywhere (rhetorically) and going to just be stuck for the rest of my life with a guy who all be it is lovely and caring, but refuses to do any DIY in our home like sand or paint the walls which need it or will call his dad over any little thing that needs fixing. Recently, our bath was leaking through the sealing but figured out the sealant around the bath just needs topping up, but my partner refused to even entertain the idea or do anything until his dad comes round to look. I understand getting advice but theres other simple little obvious things that he could help with. We also have had issues with him following, actively watching and messaging other women, even having whole other reddit and instagram accounts to watch other women and OF models, which he says he's deleted now. Another point is that he gets stressed out very easily and has to be on tablets to sleep, which isn't the issue, as everyone needs help with something at some point, but the issue comes when he gets stressed and won't talk about it or do anything about the issues apart from letting it get worse, which drives me insane.

Before we moved in together I knew he was a big mummys boy, didnt grow up much just worked and played video games, so moving out at 25 was a shock to him, whereas i grew up very fast and very independent.

We have had so many great moments together and really understand each other, which is why I feel so sad about questioning our relationship now.

Hoping someone has some advice or words of wisdom for me.

I have a big lack of motivation and care for climbing right now. I got into climbing when i met my boyfriend and it took me a while to get comfortable then I started to progress nicely (beginning to try out more V3's bouldering) which was great, and now for months I've just had a lack of caring which is annoying as the community is great.

I've honestly lost motivation to do sports in general (previously doing pole fitness too).

Really trying to change my mindset I think thats the biggest issue, but any advice would be nice, or things that have helped others in a sports/fitness rut