u/SSM-

Should I get back together with my ex of 7 years we broke up approximately one month and a half ago. We’ve since reconnected about two weeks ago.

Take care of yourself, I miss you. I really should try and move on because it’s getting pathetic at this point. I really don’t want to though. You’ve just given me absolutely nothing but I keep clinging to it. I keep listening to loml by Taylor swift and thinking of you. I’m sorry I love you.

J,

I know last time we spoke, you tried to let me down easy. I could feel it in the subtle cues you gave about the barriers between us, which is why I didn’t come on to you any stronger than I already was. I pulled back to try to be respectful and not make you uncomfortable. But parts of me wonder how much of that was because of your fears. How much of that was due to your difficulty trusting or accepting what we had with each other? I want you to know that when you mentioned how complicated everything is, I recognized that, and I would have done it all over again. It was a pleasure to get to know you, to be known by you and to love you. I also recognize, though, that you still got jealous over me, and I could see that. I know some of those lingering feelings are there. I would never do anything to push your boundaries or make you feel uncomfortable, but I can’t help noticing. To notice and wonder how much of the love you claimed to have for me is still there and hasn’t been smothered by our circumstances. Near the end of our interaction, I made a joke tied back to our circumstances, and you laughed. It reminded me of how much I missed seeing you happy and laughing; it was my favourite thing. Despite knowing you for so long, not in the same depth, of course. But regardless, I feel like I never saw you laugh or smile enough. You’re so beautiful, handsome and sexy when you’re happy, it takes my breath away. I know you have a million reasons to feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders, but I wish you could be happier. I wish I could have been the one to make you happy like we talked about. I keep thinking about that night when I apologized to you for having to take on so much. And you had said, “It’s okay”. I wish I could have told you, in hindsight, that you’re so strong and altruistic, and that I see how deeply you care about your family. It’s one of the things that I find most attractive about you. I love you so much, and I miss you so deeply.

J,

I know last time we spoke, you tried to let me down easy. I could feel it in the subtle cues you gave about the barriers between us, which is why I didn’t come on to you any stronger than I already was. I pulled back to try to be respectful and not make you uncomfortable. But parts of me wonder how much of that was because of your fears. How much of that was due to your difficulty trusting or accepting what we had with each other? I want you to know that when you mentioned how complicated everything is, I recognized that, and I would have done it all over again. It was a pleasure to get to know you, to be known by you and to love you. I also recognize, though, that you still got jealous over me, and I could see that. I know some of those lingering feelings are there. I would never do anything to push your boundaries or make you feel uncomfortable, but I can’t help noticing. To notice and wonder how much of the love you claimed to have for me is still there and hasn’t been smothered by our circumstances. Near the end of our interaction, I made a joke tied back to our circumstances, and you laughed. It reminded me of how much I missed seeing you happy and laughing; it was my favourite thing. Despite knowing you for so long, not in the same depth, of course. But regardless, I feel like I never saw you laugh or smile enough. You’re so beautiful, handsome and sexy when you’re happy, it takes my breath away. I know you have a million reasons to feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders, but I wish you could be happier. I wish I could have been the one to make you happy like we talked about. I keep thinking about that night when I apologized to you for having to take on so much. And you had said, “It’s okay”. I wish I could have told you, in hindsight, that you’re so strong and altruistic, and that I see how deeply you care about your family. It’s one of the things that I find most attractive about you. I love you so much, and I miss you so deeply.

During our separation from each other I’ve tried to move on from you. I’ve tried many times but ive grieved you so significantly. You’re on my mind constantly, still. Even a month plus later. I just feel like we had something so special.

I know that you know you’re not my first love or my first connection or my first time. But you were my best. The chemistry we had with each other was so phenomenal and electric. Our dynamic and interactions felt both so safe and passion filled at the same time. The tension between us was other worldly and I can say that with certainty because I know what other connections feel like. Because of that I can appreciate how amazing and sexy you made me feel. I know you’ve had less experience than me and I’m honoured you chose me to engage with me. You were never clear if I was your first love, but I feel so special to be loved by you regardless. You’re such a good man.

Ive tried to move on in various ways from you. I tried dancing with a guy and gave another my number. But both times I had so little interest and all I could think about was you. I even reconnected with my ex against my own better judgement because I had missed feeling loved by you. I would have treated you so well and would have loved you so much. I would have been so happy to be your girlfriend and eventually much more.

I want to fuck u so bad. I need u I. A way that’s godlike. Fuck ur so hot

I hope you read this J but I want u so bad right now i hope I see you tomorrow

I never really believed in soulmates, and maybe (probably) it’s our physical proximity to one another. But the number of times I've run into you is shocking. Call me a romantic, but some parts of me believe that since our time spent together, our souls are intricately linked and mirrors of each other. I wonder if I was meant to find you along this complicated path, with external barriers preventing us from being together. Sometimes I think about different universes or circumstances where these barriers were flattened or non-existent. I can’t help but run through these scenarios constantly. I know you feel chained by them. I know parts of you still want me. I know you asked about me since the last run-in. I know, even though you're generally an altruistic man, our connection was something you finally did for yourself. I know, in some ways, that makes me your guilty pleasure, but I’m okay with that. I do fantasize about universes where it wasn’t so complicated, though. I love you and am in love with you. I don’t know where to put all of that love, and I don’t think you do either. I want you, and I think you know that, it was written all over my face the last time I saw you. I’m sorry, I was overly excitable. I missed you. I wish we could talk again. I would tell you how worthy and sexy you are and how much I want you in every interpretation possible.

- S

I’m not sure you would even see this. I know you have Reddit but beyond that no clue.

I have grieved you everyday. I think of you everyday. I miss what we could have had. We just started really when it all came crashing down. I have no idea how you’re feeling about all of this. Guessing about that makes it worse because I think you hate me or won’t be able to forgive me. I want you to know that I love you and I’m always going to love you. I wanted to give you everything you wanted. A family, kids. I never said it but I think you would have been an amazing dad, you’re the most selfless, thoughtful, kind and good man I know. It breaks my heart that because of your circumstances we could never be together. I would never ask you to give up any of that for me. You’ve done so much and you do it with very little complaint. I want you to know I see you and as much as I want you I will respect your decision. I hope you can respect mine even if that means you might have to see me be with someone not ideal. I appreciate what you’ve done for me in trying to protect me I’m always going to remember that. I’m always going to wish he was you. I’m never going to forget you. Sometimes he says something and I have to hold my breath because it reminds me so much of you it hurts. I know we are going to have to inevitably interact again and I just ask that you forgive me one day. I love and respect you too much to have you hate me forever. But you didn’t contact me and you couldn’t touch me. What was I supposed to do with that? I laid out all of my cards on the table. I gave you everything and anything you could want. I was open and honest about my feelings. I want you to know that if I could’ve picked it would have been you every time. I’ve imagined a million scenarios of our kids and life. Of the things I would give to you. I don’t know if you know this but he doesn’t want any children. I know you imagined me as the mom of your kids. Don’t worry because I won’t be having any regardless now. Everything felt as easy as breathing with you. You’re so funny, sexy, handsome, kind, altruistic, smart, patient and a great cook. You made me so insanely happy in a way that no man ever has before. I would give u everything if I could. I love you more than words can describe and I waited for you everyday since the last time we spoke. It broke my heart to not hear from you. I’m trying to move on but you’ve taken up residence since last summer. You know who you are. - S