Hiii! Looking for people to play with, I usually playing drawing games or horror games, but am open to anything. I just get bored playing by myself 😭 Anomaly games have been my current fav.
I went no contact with my mom 2 years ago, her drug abuse had gotten to out of control, and I couldn’t take watching her kill herself anymore. She has been on pills (oxy) since before I was born. I got a phone call that she overdosed a week ago, and I’ve been spiraling since. I thought I was okay and I finally got to a point of acceptance but I haven’t. I miss my mommy, the mom I had before men and drugs and I know that mom is dead and I’m an adult but it really fucking sucks. To top it off my brother with special needs is the one that found her, I never wanted him to have to see that. I found her overdosed when I was 6 and I still have flashbacks to it. I tried for forever to shield him from that, but when I went no contact I couldn’t. So it just makes me angry on top of the guilt I feel from him being the one that found her. He went to school and said he wanted to die to a friend. I’m just really lost.
I went no contact with my mom 2 years ago, her drug abuse had gotten to out of control, and I couldn’t take watching her kill herself anymore. I got a phone call that she overdosed a week ago, and I’ve been spiraling since. I thought I was okay and I finally got to a point of acceptance but I haven’t. I miss my mommy, the mom I had before men and drugs and I know that mom is dead and I’m an adult but it really fucking sucks. To top it off my brother with special needs is the one that found her, I never wanted him to have to see that. I tried for forever to shield him from that. So it just makes me angry on top of all the other feelings and I don’t know what to do.
I’m getting to the point where I can’t tell if I’m having a medical episode or having an anxiety attack. I was literally just sitting in bed, and started feeling like I couldn’t breathe or like I was struggling to get air. Then my left side started to get tense and I’m always so worried that something medical is going on and that’s probably an issue in itself. I went to my safe spot, the bathroom, and am now feeling a bit better just doing some deep breathing. It makes me lean more towards it being anxiety related. This is just a big vent but any advice is appreciated ❤️