u/Sad_Vanilla8525

i tried putting myself out there again after a breakup, and now i’m honestly just triggered and regretting it.
i’ve been single for about 7 months, and i finally felt like i was in a genuine place to start hooking up with people again, as i actually enjoy that part of being single.
long story short, the person i ended up sleeping with completely disrespected my boundaries and triggered me in ways i haven’t felt in years. she had little to no regard for my comfort or the boundaries i clearly communicated. from doing anal on me when she never asked permission to, only asked if I’d done it earlier in the day, to climbing on top of me naked while i was asking her to just take me closer to my house, she seemed completely unwilling to hear “no” if it got in the way of the “heat of the moment”. she tries to play these things off as “dominant” but it’s straight up assault & it was scary.

what probably bothered me the most was that she kept trying to flip it around and act like i had asked for these things or changed my mind. and even if i had changed my mind, people are allowed to do that. instead, she blamed me for her being naked and horny (mind you! didn’t even realize she had taken off her clothes the second time), like i somehow owed her something. that’s ultimately what made me get out of her car.
after she finally drove me home, she started getting all whiny, asking why I was being weird and trying to go, and then asked if i could go around the corner with her while she got dressed. i did not.

i texted her today to let her know i wouldn’t be continuing things, and she somehow blamed it on my autism amongst a lot of other triggering bullshit lmao. this experience didn’t completely deter me from putting myself back out there, but i’m really bummed out. i’m trying not to victim blame myself or reach back out because of this weird guilt i’m feeling. if you made it this far, thanks for reading lol.

i know this is such a non-issue, but i can’t stand working for families who want constant updates throughout the day. they ask that i don’t use my phone while i’m working (which I’d prefer), but then want pictures and updates whenever they’re out of the house. i even keep a shared note that tracks naps, diapers, and feeds in real time so they can check whenever they want, but they rarely look at it and instead ask me throughout the day for information that’s already there.
i think part of it is that most of the families i’ve worked with preferred an end-of-day rundown, so that’s what i’ve gotten used to. i completely understand that parents want updates and deserve to know how their baby is doing, but sometimes its irritating having my phone out all day taking pictures of a 6-month-old doing normal baby things, especially when they don’t even respond half the time lol. Again, I know it’s a non issue, just venting bc my coworker is a baby lol.

heyyyy ✨wondering if anyone here is interested in going to the FGFB event on Juneteenth in LA this Friday. i was going w friends, but they had to leave town & everyone else is busy. i’m single, so definitely down for cute flirty vibes, but also looove making new friends + meeting ppl in general, so i’d be down going as new buddies or as a “third wheel” loll. also down to go to different event if anyone is going somewhere else, just really wanna be in community.
i’m 28, femme, and buying drinks— lmk if you’re interested lmao! :))

i’ve been free of ana behaviors for a couple of years. definitely still engaged in other extremely unhealthy behaviors, but restricting and counting haven’t really been a huge problem. recently i’ve gone through a devastating breakup & transition- and I’ve dropped two pant sizes in less than a month. i went from cooking for me and my ex every single day, picked up baking in the last year as well, but I just cannot bring myself to cook even enough for myself. i did a big Costco haul on Monday, hoping the frozen food would be helpful and easier access, but it’s just sitting there. because i’ve noticed the significant body changes in such a short time, i’ve started body checking at almost every mirror & subconsciously restricting. i haven’t had a real meal in about 2 weeks, and i’m afraid i will p*rge if i do eat one. living w my ex made it nearly impossible to engage and some behavior and others were very obvious to her so in a way she was an accountability buddy. now she’s gone and won’t even speak to me (nothing to do with this, she’s just mean and avoidant) and the thought of eating anything we used to eat together (everything) makes it impossible for me to want it. appetite loss after a break up is normal, but because of my history (losing 100 pounds in less than a year due to restricting and p*rging), i’m starting to worry. just wanted to vent somewhere safe, i hope some of this makes sense.