u/SaleStrong9207

My mom briefly lost custody over a misunderstanding that happened because I got myself lost and made my way to the police station, but now my dad has this ego that he's this protector

My mom apologized and we did family therapy together and I'm good with her. She fucked up and fixed it.

I don't know what to do. I'm being infantialized again and I fucking hate it because he acts like me having a basic right like knowing how to drive is a privilege.

I can't get emancipated, my dad would actually kill me if I got my aunt to take custody, and my mom can't do shit because he'll use it in court.

I'm like 100 percent ready to run away and turn off my location

I can't take my dad yelling at me that I'm selfish and me wanting to spend time with my mom is being selfish and disrespectful and me doing that is hurting him intentionally

Big background chunk.

Okay, so basically, my dad and my stepmom fight a lot, and they get into really explosive fights. Then my dad yells about how he's being disrespected and he won't be disrespected in his own home, even though the last big fight they had was about him hitting the dog in the head with a flip-flop because the dog was chewing on the flip-flop, and Paula told him not to do that. And my stepmom got so mad that she got my stepmom stuff ready to leave, and she went to leave. My dad went out to the truck, opened both passenger doors, and kept going on and on to my stepmoms about how he wasn't going to be disrespected, and he was defending hitting the dog in the head with the shoe because my stepmoms way wasn't working to redirect the dog. And my stepmom told him that he's not going to manipulate her, that he's not going to stand there and manipulate her. And it was like five minutes straight of just this whole roundabout. And my dad just wasn't letting my stepmom leave. I don't know why he wasn't letting her leave. I just know he wasn't letting her leave, and he just kept her there and made a big deal of her wanting to leave.

And then when Paula and I get into fights, she acts like she's talking to someone who's her age. There was one point in time, like in October, when I was arguing with my dad, and Paula wanted me to apologize for stuff I said, but I wasn't even arguing with her, so she was eavesdropping in the first place. And then she wouldn't talk to me for like three straight days because she thought she could be petty with a 15-year-old and the 15-year-old wouldn't be petty back. And then every time I try to defend myself in a situation, they tell me I'm being selfish. They say I don't think about anybody but myself, but that's not true. Because do you know how many times I've gone places and gotten things for Belle and Stacy? When I went on my trip to Boston, I wanted to get Paula a T-shirt because I thought Paula would appreciate it. But then, after making it a point to say, "Hey, we should get people this, we should get people that," I'm called selfish and petty for being sarcastic when they say stupid things. I don't like not being able to defend myself and then getting told I'm being rude and disrespectful for defending myself, and that's not me not wanting to take accountability. I will admit I screwed up. Yeah, that's my fault. Yes, I did hit my sister. Yes, I did fight with Belle. Yes, I did fight with Stacy. But I defend myself when I know I'm not in the wrong. It's taken as disrespect. It's taken as me being rude, like I'm being disrespectful and I don't want to think about anybody but myself. There was one time that Paula told us to wash the dishes and clean the kitchen, and so we were fighting while doing that. Then Paula stomped upstairs and yelled at us for fighting, blah blah blah, and then she went back downstairs because they were renovating the basement. Belle put on some music, and literally it was not that loud. You could hear it just enough to hear it over the water. And Paula comes stomping upstairs, like full-on angry stomps, up the basement stairs. She opens the basement door and goes, "You guys need to turn it down. Some people are trying to watch TV." But the only people trying to watch TV are Grandma Lisa and her mom, and it wouldn't be such an issue, but it's not even an issue in the first place because her mom watches TV with the volume all the way up, and you can hear it from upstairs at night. You can hear it from the dining room. Do you know how many times I've gone to bed and heard a baby crying from the TV? It drives me insane.

But then it's our fault for not wanting to sleep upstairs in ridiculous heat. Because if we leave our door open, the cat goes and steals our stuff. Then the dogs are upstairs to steal your socks. The dogs steal this. The dogs steal that. And then we're so mad, and they're like, "Oh, you should just shut your door. You should put the baby gate up." So I never want to leave my door open, and then it's significantly hotter in my room. By the way, our Alexa, if you ask it, "Oh, what's the temperature in this certain room?" and then specify what room, it'll tell you. It was the same thing during the winter. My room was bordering on like 58 degrees. There was no way that was comfortable for a human. And then when Stacy asked her Alexa, it read 83 degrees in her room. And the thermostat reads 85 weekly, and we'll ask to turn on the AC, and we get told to open our doors, open the windows, etc. Yeah, I understand not turning on the AC when it's not needed because, yes, it costs money, but it's not even like the AC really does anything. We have fans going up there 24/7, but the fans only circulate the air already up there. But I don't want to go to bed in 85-degree heat. And then when we turn the AC on and Paula gets mad at us for turning it on, she takes the actual thermostat away so the AC doesn't run. Like, she actually disconnects the entire thermostat. She takes it off the wall and keeps it downstairs. But then how does that even make us understand that the AC costs money? Because all that does is make us miserable. And they tell us it'll equalize downstairs if it's at the same temperature. No, it doesn't, because hot air rises, and upstairs is perpetually hotter. And then what they told us is that when they were upstairs, it was really cool, and they never turned the AC on. They just opened their doors. But when they were upstairs, the AC was running 24/7. When our dad and Paula slept upstairs, they were consistently complaining about how cold it was in the winter and how hot it was in the summer, and the AC and heater never turned off. But when we sleep upstairs, the AC and the heater are luxuries to us. I will sleep with four blankets the entirety of December and January and ask if we can turn the heater on, and say I'm sleeping with four blankets, and they straight up said if I have four blankets and it's working, then the heater doesn't need to turn on. They rectified this by getting us heated blankets for Christmas, which does work, but only when we're able to turn them on for the night and don't have to turn them off after two hours. There is still no way someone should be sleeping with four blankets because they don't want to turn the heater on, because the heat "rises."

When you try to have a conversation with our dad, it turns into an argument almost every single conversation. I can't defend my point without my dad being like, "Oh, but this is why you're wrong. This is why I'm right." I don't want to do that. I want to be able to have a conversation with my dad and work things out. But he goes with whatever Paula says, so if Paula says we're being disrespectful, then we're being disrespectful even if we're not. That means, like, before we came over this last Thursday, Paula and our dad made us clean the bathroom, and our dad goes on this tangent about how I'm leaving home soon and they need to make sure I'll be "capable of cleaning." I'm capable of cleaning. It just frustrates me when Paula overcomplicates things. Like, why does cleaning the pantry involve actually cleaning out the inside of the microwave??? And why do I need to deep clean my room every three days? They got mad at my room being dirty after I was packing to go to Boston, and I was digging through my dirty laundry to get things washed.

After a fight on Wednesday, Paula turned the internet off, and we're like, "Okay." Then Belle's really frustrated because she wasn't part of the fight. And I was going to go over to your house because I didn't want to keep getting called selfish. And then our dad was like, "Oh, but if you go over to your mom's house, it's going to be used against me." And I was like, "What?" I'm not trying to get it used against you. I'm frustrated, and I don't want to be here with Paula, being told I'm selfish and inconsiderate and that I don't think about anybody but myself. Because I know I don't think only about myself. I think about other people. I've done stuff where I bought things for people without being asked for anything. I have given Paula stuff I've made. I've given our dad stuff. I made Paula a whole coaster set out of yarn. I was not asked to do that. I've made our dad beanies. I've made Paula a beanie. I've made them a bunch of stuff with yarn and given it to them, and I'm told I'm inconsiderate and I don't think about any other people. Like, what do you mean? Literally not even a week ago, I asked Belle if, when I got a two-pack of some scrubber thing that was supposed to be really good for exfoliation, she would want one. I was like, "Okay, I'm going to use this to see if this works for my back acne." It was cheaper to get a two-pack, so I went to Belle and asked her if she wanted one, and I was even going to get a specific color if she wanted a specific color. So, like, someone who doesn't think about other people and is selfish gets their sister's things without being asked? Would someone who's selfish and inconsiderate do that? I'm not selfish now. Yes, I was selfish at one point. I was only thinking about how things affected me at one point, but I was also 11. I'm 16 now. It's like they're not letting me grow. Literally, I also made Paula a bar of soap, and I'm giving people stuff just because I want to give it to them. Like, I made Paula this coffee soap bar, and I'm still called selfish.

So I needed a break and I didn't even realize that it was the weekend of the 4th. So I requested to spend the weekend with my mom, to get away from the toxicity of the house, and my dad calls me, asking what's wrong, why I'm requesting, and I just tell him I want to spend time with my mom. I spent the weekend with my mom, and I get back to my dad's and I find out they thought I left because they took the wifi away, and I didn't want to come over because it was gone. (That's not my reason, but okay.) And now they're punishing me for going over to my mom's by withholding the wifi from only me. And when I asked to get it back, they started cussing me out.

Idk what to do

Where can I find a store that stocks 30DDD in CA?

AITAH for going to my mom's during the 4th of July?

Medical Invalidation Survey (Any and all ages)

Where would I find emails for psychologists to email for research? (NOT A RESEARCG REQUEST, SIMPLY LOOKING FOR EMAILS)

🐾❓ What's my name? (by SaleStrong9207)

🐾❓ What's my name? (by SaleStrong9207)