u/Salty_Kaleidoscope85

I have sensitive data held by a UK company "A" who uses a database software that was recently hacked at another company "B" and has been a few times recently elsewhere. I am concerned that with the vulnerability of the database software, my data with A is vulnerable to a similar hack. I asked the DPO for some reassurance of how company A is protecting my (and other people's) data and they said they can't disclose that for security reasons but they're "doing all they can" and "following external advice".

I understand this reasoning to a point, but surely there is some degree of reassurance I can be given of the specifics of this beyond being fobbed off with platitudes? Is it reasonable to ask of a company that stores my data how it protects that? Or are they really okay to be completely vague and unreassuring like this?

I bought an Eastpak rucksack in 2010/11 which I have used almost daily since for school, uni, work and travelling. It has minor signs of wear but only yesterday did it break with the zip splitting so that one of the zips of the main compartment undoes what it's just done up.

I am considering getting a new zip from a tailor as the bag itself is in pretty good condition. But I may also go for a new one of the same bag given how well it has lasted at less than a penny per use! Have any of you bought an Eastpak in the 2020s to comment on whether the quality and durability of my 2011 bag is maintained or if they have deteriorated?

TLDR: after a few years of no progress towards reconciliation, my parents have suggested family counselling. I'm tempted to try it so that either I am pleasantly surprised or more likely they fuck around and find out when made accountable and my choices feel validated.

I've been low contact properly for 3 years after a catalyst event that was too far to forgive (even if I'd had an apology..). I don't initiate contact but am prepared to be civil if approached by them. Before then we barely had any relationship anyway so that would have been what most people would consider low contact as our baseline.

This time last year I stayed at my parents because dad had tried to talk through the issues with me and gave enough of an impression they wanted to do better that I gave them a chance to show me in person. While staying at theirs, it was largely fine but on the last night mum screamed at me so horribly and dad just watched her so it without intervening. I stood up for myself and my partner did too but they didn't care. Since then, I have had very minimal contact receiving happy birthday/Christmas messages only.

A few weeks ago Dad rang out of the blue seeing a LinkedIn post of mine he wanted to talk about. We discussed that and it was fine, I said I was going to grad school later this year. This part of the call was fine. In that phonecall he asked why I don't talk to them much which resulted in a circular conversation of him excusing mums behaviour last summer. A week later he offered to pay for my degree (25-30k) but I declined it because I'd much prefer a good relationship with my parents than have them control me with money I can afford to go without. He again acted confused by why our relationship might be strained despite multiple conversations explaining the answer. He either wasn't listening (rude and manipulative) or playing dumb (also rude and manipulative)

Earlier this week mum texted to suggest that the three of us go to family counselling to work on this. They do not feel they have done much if anything wrong and that I'm reacting to a single event not a lifetime of shit. There is so far no accountability or preparedness to listen.

To me, family counselling is both the thing I'd like most and least with them. I anticipate it will go one of two ways. Less likely, they actually are ready to listen and do the work and we can move forward. The much more likely outcome is that they're held accountable by me or the counsellor for various issues, don't like it and quit. In the second option, I feel like I then get reassurance that I'm doing the right thing and I really have tried everything. I would probably enjoy seeing them held accountable and guided to listen to what I'm saying without dismissing it or invalidating it.

So, I think what I want to ask of other people who get it, am I being daft for considering this even if expecting disappointment? Or is it worth doing for the confirmation that they aren't worth it or the chance of progress?

I (29F) recently posted on my linkedin about how I'm looking for a new job. I am also preparing to start a part time postgraduate degree in autumn. My dad (64M) rang me soon after to ask about it and offered some advice for job seeking which was fine and we had a civil conversation about it. He then said that he noticed I "seem to be withdrawing from the family" which I have been for years due to my parents emotional neglect and ongoing problem behaviours, particularly at two key incidents of the past 2-3 years. I don't often talk to my parents, I have seen them once in person in about 2.5 years, and no longer acknowledge mother's day/father's day/their birthdays because our relationship is that lacking, so it shouldn't be news to him that I have distanced myself. I explained to him again that yes this is the case and that it's because of both his and mum's (62F) choices and behaviours over many years. He of course tried explaining it away and dismissing my points (lots of intention vs impact stuff as usual). The call became circular and unproductive so I chose to hang up after a good half hour of this cycle to save my energy.

He then tried calling me a week later and I asked that he text me why he was calling because I was "busy"...and I couldn't tolerate another cycle of that BS. In the text he offered to pay for all of my degree tuition fees for the course I start later this year (yes, I know this is a massive privilege for this to even be a possibility), and that he would call me the next day to discuss it. At first I thought oh wow that would be amazing because yes please free money, and then I remembered how they will hold it over my head for the next few years (forever) like I owe them something, and because their behaviour ruined my last graduation so I wasn't planning on inviting them this time around. I came to the conclusion that this wouldn't be simply a gift and in the long run would cause more emotional stress than it could lift financial stress.

A week went by and dad never followed up to discuss his offer, so I texted him the other day to tell him that as much as I appreciate the offer, I would have to decline it given the relationship strain we have, that he is aware of, that he has been told the cause of and should have the social reasoning skills to do something about. As much as financing my degree would be beneficial, it would be much more valuable to me for him and mum to take steps to make our relationship more positive. He hasn't yet replied to this but he's read the message. (Again, I very much know that to be able to refuse this offer is a big point of financial privilege and don't take it lightly)

For so long my parents would dismiss any suggestion that there is a problem or that they might have done wrong despite being told 100 times in 100 ways about it, and I think finally it has sunk in. It's a bit hard to dismiss someone when they tell you that you being alright enough to be around is worth more to them than thousands of pounds.

I needed to get this off my chest because it's not something many people I'm friends with will relate to given their much more positive family relationships.

TLDR: I told my dad that him working on improving his behaviour towards me was worth more than a shit load of money and I think he might finally understand how much his and mum's emotionally neglectful behaviour affects me