I temporarily lost the ability to speak, heard voices, and completely lost track of time
Hi !
First of all, I’d like to apologize for any grammar mistakes or awkward wording. I’m French and I have dyslexia.
I’d like to share something that happened to me today and ask whether anyone has ever experienced something similar.
Today, a simple text message triggered an overwhelming wave of panic. I burst into tears, and then everything escalated very quickly.
During the episode:
I felt like I could hear voices. They were whispering negative things about me, but at the same time, another part of me knew they weren’t rational.
Whenever there was background noise around me, the voices almost completely disappeared.
I had intrusive thoughts that didn’t feel like they belonged to me, as if they were coming from someone else.
I became extremely hot, my head felt like it was burning, I was shaking, and my vision became blurry.
I felt much stronger than usual.
I completely lost my sense of time and space. During the episode, it felt like it lasted for several hours, when in reality it probably lasted around ten minutes. Now, several hours later, it feels like it only happened five minutes ago.
I became obsessed with my hands. I bit myself until it hurt and dug my fingernails into my palms hard enough to leave deep marks, without really understanding why I was doing it.
At one point, I could barely speak.
I tried to write in a notebook, but my handwriting became completely chaotic: a mixture of random letters, cursive and capital letters, and words that made no sense. When I looked back at it afterwards, it was almost unreadable, and I have no memory of writing it.
The only thing I managed to write to a friend was, “I can’t speak anymore.” I showed him the note because I couldn’t say it out loud. Afterwards, he told me he had been genuinely terrified. But seeing how terrified he was helped me reconnect with reality, and the episode gradually started to fade.
Afterwards, I felt extremely exhausted, mentally drained, my voice was still shaky, and I continued to have difficulty speaking normally for a while.
This wasn’t the first time something like this has happened. I’ve had another episode at work where I felt like I was in a dream, even though I rationally knew I was actually at work. I also heard voices telling me I was a bad person, while another part of me knew they weren’t true. Each time, it seems that even a small emotional trigger is enough to set off something extremely intense.
Has anyone here ever experienced anything similar?
