u/Saucyguy02

I’ve been dating my girlfriend who has an 8th house stellium in Aquarius, and as a 12th houser, i can notice she can come across as really entitled and ungrateful sometimes.

I’ve noticed that she can be quite emotionally complicated, and sometimes I feel like she expects a lot from me without fully appreciating what I do for her. There are moments when I feel like I’m giving more than I receive, and it makes me wonder whether this has anything to do with her placements. And when it comes to vulnerability talk, I definitely feel like im the more vulnerable one.

For those with an 8th house stellium, or those who have dated someone with one, what are some of the more difficult traits you’ve noticed?

I genuinely want outside opinions because my girlfriend and I completely disagree about what happened, and she keeps bringing it up and making me feel guilty.

About a month ago, my girlfriend and I got into an argument at the apartment where I live with my family. Things became heated, and she started getting increasingly hostile. My mom told her she needed to leave and take a break because everyone was upset and things weren’t calming down. The plan was basically for her to go home, cool off, and we could talk again another day.

The problem is that she refused to leave.

She stayed for hours after being told multiple times that she needed to go home. Eventually, my family made her leave the apartment, but she continued staying outside for around 3–4 hours. Her car was there, so she had a way to get home. We even offered to get her an Uber, but she still wouldn’t leave.

During that time, there was yelling and a lot of noise outside. Her begging me to come back and me coming back and telling her to go back home and that she needs to relax. I would go back and she would just scream my name for me to come back. It was a completely messy situation where I was stuck between choosing my family’s rules in the place where I live at or my GF. Neighbors were hearing everything and even people in my apartment were hearing everything too. Eventually neighbors complained and the police were called. My family also received a warning from the landlord because of the disturbance.

Since then, my parents and family have been uncomfortable with her coming back to the apartment. Honestly, I understand why. I live there with my family, and I don’t pay the rent myself. My family has to deal with the landlord and the other residents, and I don’t want another noise complaint or problem.

My girlfriend keeps asking when she can come over again and gets upset when I tell her she currently can’t. She says my family should have been nicer to her and that she wouldn’t have acted the way she did if we had handled things differently. She also says my parents are not nice for not letting her in after this situation, yet they let her sleep over at that house for the past 9 months every weekend with me. She also directs a lot of her anger toward me.

This is where I’m conflicted. I understand that she probably felt rejected and hurt in that moment, and maybe my family and I could have handled certain parts of the situation better. But at the same time, she was repeatedly told to leave, had her own car available, was offered an Uber, and still chose to stay outside for hours while things continued escalating.

What bothers me most is that I feel like she doesn’t take responsibility for her part in what happened. Instead, she mainly blames my family and says the entire situation was caused by how we treated her.

I’ve told her that this isn’t about punishing her or choosing my family over her. She literally can’t come over right now because my family is uncomfortable, the landlord gave a warning, and I don’t want to risk disturbing the neighbors again. I don’t wanna ruin my living situation nor my family’s.

So honestly: am I being unfair to her, or is she refusing to accept the consequences of what happened?

I’m open to hearing if I or my family handled this badly too. I just want an honest outside perspective.