u/Savoieball

Submission Statement: “Reality is catching up with us,” French Prime Minister Sébastien Lecornu warned this week on the eve of presenting the 2027 budget. Lecornu was referring to this year’s surge in government borrowing costs which aggravates France’s fiscal woes just as it enters the presidential election campaign. Amid a broader debt market sell-off, France has become a focal point of investor jitters about debt sustainability.

France’s debt-to-GDP ratio now stands at 119 per cent. Its 10-year bond yields this week climbed above 4.9 per cent, the highest in the Eurozone, from 3.6 per cent in early July. The premium that Paris must pay compared with German debt has risen sharply to more than 125 basis points, the highest level since the peak of the Eurozone crisis in 2012. A country that has not run a budget surplus since 1974 is now paying dearly for its profligacy.

The worst-case scenario for debt investors would be a run-off between the far-left Jean-Luc Mélenchon and the far-right Marine Le Pen. Mélenchon has proposed cancelling government debt held by France’s central bank, which would send fear rippling across debt markets. Le Pen has committed to a 3 per cent deficit ceiling but lacks anything like a serious plan for the €140bn or so in annual savings needed to get there by 2032.

Since France is too big to fail, investors expect the European Central Bank to eventually intervene in case of crisis, keeping a lid on yields. The ECB has the tools and could step in to prevent contagion to other Eurozone sovereigns. But it would also face stiff opposition in other capitals to bailing out a country that has repeatedly failed to get its house in order, especially if led by a president who is at loggerheads with the EU on other fronts. The market squeeze and France’s fiscal pain could get much worse before any rescue.

This fanfiction was also posted on AO3, please give a kudos if you liked the work.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/93025376

Context: This text was written last year as part of a project to celebrate Maya's birthday, involving a group of fanfiction writers from the *Ongezellig* fandom.

I kept this text almost entirely under wraps for a year, but I’ve finally decided to share it with you.

Thanks to Wigosas for trusting me to write this project, which was close to my heart.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Despite the appearance of Maya from *Death and Reborn*, this text is not canon to the *Death and Reborn* universe.

_______________________________________________

September 21 — 12:00 a.m.

A notification.

A teenage girl picked up the cellphone lying beside her. She unlocked the screen and read the message displayed.

“Happy birthday Mrs. Maya Schoppenboer. On this special day, please enjoy…” The girl didn’t bother finishing the message. She knew it was just an automated text from a newsletter or a store where she had once given her details.

After all, what had she expected? A real message?

Maya had always been alone; nobody would send her a message to wish her a happy birthday.

Today, she turned 17. But her loneliness and other problems made her unwilling to celebrate. She thought she didn’t deserve it. Why celebrate when you aren’t loved?

Later, she would need to find a new excuse not to face the world. A better excuse than last year, when she had forced herself to throw up so she could stay in her room, only to be caught by Coco, one of her two sisters, full of life. That day had shattered her even more than usual.

Maya lay down on her bed, grabbed her blobfish plushie, and held it tightly while letting a few tears escape, tears she vainly tried to hold back.

Little by little, Maya slipped into the world of dreams. Hopefully, this dream would be more pleasant than the one she had the year before.

In the morning, Maya woke gently; she felt the first rays of sunlight streaming through the cracks in her blinds. She was still clutching her blobfish plush. But as her eyes slowly opened, she noticed something was different, then realized the truth: she had woken up in another bedroom.

Panicked, at first thinking it was a nightmare, she scanned the room. The walls were now white, contrasting with the dull red of her usual bedroom. To her left, a modern gaming PC sat on a desk by the window. Still on the left, she noticed several neat shelves filled with decorations: a kokeshi doll, an octopus plushie, some bracelets, and several framed photos. Maya got up and approached one of the photos: three young women in their twenties. She recognized Coco immediately; after a few seconds, she realized the young Asian woman with black hair was her other sister, Mymy, who had drastically changed her style. As for the third person, Maya hesitated in denial… it was herself, grown up, joyful, groomed, prettier.

Maya was even more confused: had she become an adult and sociable in her youth? Another photo didn’t help: it showed her at around 16–17 years old, surrounded by three strangers, a girl and two boys.

“Are those… friends?” she thought.

She found another photo where she also appeared as an adult. She was posing with three women in front of a restaurant: one in a waitress uniform, another blonde in a long dress, and the last one looked somewhat like her. This last woman had her left arm around Maya’s neck; she seemed caught by surprise in the picture. On the left side of the image, some readable text said: “To the best colleague I ever had. We shared such good times during this short period. <3 Curry.”

Maya turned back to her bed. Next to her beloved blobfish plush was another one, much smaller: a little Ikea shark. Looking up, she saw a painting of an adult woman walking in nature, wearing a white dress with red stripes, a beret on her head, long black hair floating in the wind, a guitar case on her shoulder, the woman she had always dreamed of being.

Questions swirled: had she traveled into the future, where she had achieved her dream of having friends and being comfortable in her own skin? Or was she in an alternate universe where this Maya was “Zellig”?

She turned left and saw a door with a mirror attached. Approaching, she realized she hadn’t changed physically: she was still the same 16-year-old, unkempt and too skinny. She returned to her thoughts. A smell of stroopwafels snapped her out of them. Too intrigued, she discreetly opened the door, which led to an ordinary hallway. Turning right, after a few steps, she entered a large living space. On her left, a living room with a TV, couch, and coffee table covered with letters and papers. On her right, a dining room and kitchen.

She saw someone at the oven, back turned. The person was dressed like her but seemed tidier; her hair was straight and clean. This young woman pulled the cookies out of the oven, and when she turned around, she was startled to see Maya.

“AHHHHHHH!” she screamed.

“AHHHHHHHHHHH!” Maya screamed back. Both were terrified.

“Please, don’t hurt me, and don’t call the police, I was sleeping in my room and suddenly ended up here, I don’t know how!” the younger one stammered.

“I know, Maya, don’t worry, nothing’s going to happen to you.” the woman reassured her.

“How do you know my name…” the teenager asked, before adding, “…are you also called Maya? Are you an older version of me? Am I in the future?”

The adult Maya replied:

“Well, you’re supposed to be in my apartment. But there’s something strange: I woke up on the couch, even though I remember falling asleep in my bed… and above all, the front door of my apartment disappeared. I think I’m in a dream… a terrifyingly realistic one. I noticed a lot of mail on the coffee table: one letter was addressed directly to me. It said there would be a guest in the house and I should welcome her. So I went to my bedroom and found you… I was in shock: my teenage self was in my room! You seemed restless in your sleep, and I couldn’t make sense of it. I started to piece it together and thought I should prepare something to eat for when you woke up… so I went to the kitchen and made stroopwafels. Do you want some? There’s enough for both of us.”

“No thanks, I’m not really hungry…” the younger Maya replied, though her stomach growled.

“Maya… are you really not hungry… or are you punishing yourself by refusing food?” the adult guessed.

The younger one lowered her eyes, touched her right arm with her left hand, ashamed, then admitted:

“Yes… that’s it… you’re right: you are me indeed… you’re the only person who knows I don’t eat as punishment.”

The other Maya smiled warmly. “What if, just for once, you treated yourself? You deserve forgiveness and a little warmth. I’m sure these cookies taste good.”

The teenager sat at a kitchen chair, took a stroopwafel, tasted it, then looked up. Her sad gaze had shifted. The warm caramel comforted her immediately. She took a second one after finishing the first.

“See, it feels good to treat yourself,” the adult said happily. Then she asked: “But why do you punish yourself?”

The younger one’s expression darkened again as she confided: “Well… it’s my birthday today, and I have no one to celebrate with. I don’t deserve to be happy.” The adult Maya’s face grew serious.

“I see. I understand… I went through the same thing for a long time. I even once tried to avoid my birthday by making myself vomit. I thought I had succeeded, but Coco caught me, full of energy, and it became one of the saddest memories of my life.”

“OH BUT THAT’S JUST LIKE ME! You are my future self! For sure!”

Silence filled the room, then the younger one added:

“Tell me… you seem so good with your life… I think you’re really beautiful, the person I dream of being but don’t deserve to be. I saw the photos: you were happy with Coco and Mymy, as if you didn’t hate them. I think you even have friends too. How did you do it?”

“Maya… I’ll tell you that… but just promise me one thing: never repeat what I did at the beginning.”

“Uh… okay, I promise… but why?”

“Listen, when I was your age, I was like you: a loser, alone. I thought my family was against me and that I was worthless. One day, my pain exploded and I hit Coco until she bled and, worst of all, a few hours later… I tried to leave this world…”

The young Maya froze at this revelation. The adult tried to reassure her:

“…and Coco saved me at the last moment. I spent a few days in a coma before being taken to a mental health center. There, I was finally able to rebuild myself, gain confidence, make friends… in short, I changed during those months, and that time helped me so much to become the young adult I am now.”

They ate more stroopwafels, then the elder added: “You know, I believe you too can climb out of the pit of despair you’ve fallen into. It’s hard to say, I know you well, but today, try to enjoy life. Even if you feel alone, allow yourself some pleasure… and you won’t really be alone. Your sisters will be waiting for you again behind the door. I know you’re angry at them, I was too… but I was wrong: over time I realized they really do love us.”

Once they had finished the cookies, the adult Maya invited her to the living room. She showed her a pile of letters and drawings.

“I wanted to show you all this… they’re meant for both of us.”

The teenager picked one letter first: the sender thanked Maya, saying they related to her character and that it helped them. Maya found more. She also read letters of support, encouragement, and drawings…

“I’ve read several and… it’s strange to say… but I feel like our story is known in other universes, and we’ve become some kind of… celebrity. I feel like I’m a fictional character, in the end…” the adult confided.

She suggested reading another letter together; it came with the first she had opened. They were puzzled: it was addressed to both of them but also to a third person they had never heard of. At times, the letter seemed meant for everyone, as if its content was public.

Reading all those messages, the younger Maya began to feel more comfortable with herself. She realized she wasn’t the only one with these problems, and that others admired her in other “universes.” She thought there must truly be people like her in her world too, and that one day she might meet them and make friends.

For the first time, Maya felt loved; her heart eased, and she finally felt ready to move forward.

Her older self stood and suggested a hug. After a moment’s hesitation, she embraced her alternative self. She heard these words:

“Take this day as a rebirth. It won’t be easy, but I think the path toward self-love is worth walking. Smile to yourself, take care of yourself… that alone is a huge step. And above all… learn to forgive yourself… I know you’ll manage.”

Maya closed her eyes and felt the universe collapsing around her.

She heard one last piece of advice:

“I know you still love Noga, and you could give your love to animals in need.”

Maya gently opened her eyes; she realized she was clutching her beloved plush again and was back in her room.

It was only a dream… sadly. Yet it felt so real. And that Maya, so comforting, had understood her completely.

Maya kept her advice in mind and told herself she could make it, that this version of herself was possible, that it wasn’t too late to reach it. So she stood up and opened her bedroom door. As expected, her two sisters were waiting to wish her a happy birthday.

Once the surprise passed, Maya regained her composure and gave a small, genuine smile, before saying sincerely:

“Thank you.”

_______________________________________________

Once her younger self had left, the adult Maya lay down on the living room sofa. She found the first letter she had discovered when she woke up and read it again.

« Dear Maya,

I hope you are well. You must be wondering what you’re doing here, on the living-room couch, and why the front door of your apartment has disappeared. Know that you are in a sort of alternate universe. Don’t worry, you’ll be back home in a few hours. Think of this as a kind of lucid dream.

In your bedroom there is a guest; she is currently asleep in your bed. I won’t tell you who she is so I don’t spoil the surprise. But know that it’s someone who is very sad right now and who needs comfort.

In the kitchen, you’ll find everything you need to make warm stroopwafels. You will share a nice breakfast together and have the chance to talk and compare your life stories.

As you can see, there is a pile of letters and drawings on the coffee table in the living room. Consider this a birthday gift to share between you. I’m sure you’ll like these presents. I wish you a good time together. This letter comes with a second letter to read together. »

Then she picked up the second letter, the one that had left them uncertain.

« Dear Massa, dear Maya (both of you),

I just wanted to say thank you.

It has been nearly two years, I had never heard of your universe. Nothing in my life suggested I would ever come across you. But the magic of the internet put you on my path. I discovered the day the three Schoppenboer sisters had to give an urgent History presentation. Your story made me laugh. You are a very funny family. At first it was Mymy’s antics that caught my attention. But I discovered that the real gem… was you, Maya. You were a lost, lonely teenager, fighting mental health problems, a teenage crisis, trapped by your vices. And know that many people saw themselves in you.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t find out more about you. Let’s say I didn’t get the rest of your History presentation, although someone whispered the continuation of your story and a few details about you. I was a little sad… then one day I stumbled across an image. It’s a drawing you haven’t seen and will probably never see. Yet that drawing changed my life. Something was born in me: the continuation of your story, Maya.

At first that story stayed in my imagination. Then, frustrated that it remained there, I decided to do something I had never done before: bring it to life by writing it.

I wrote a story directly inspired by that drawing and I shared it. It was the beginning of an incredible adventure for me and for a community. I wrote the rest of your life, Maya, the one I had imagined. And know that it fascinated many people.

I was able to give you an ending that makes you happy. Not an ending where you live a long life with many children. But an ending where you can smile at life again.

I am very proud to have finished your story. But I am even prouder of this: your story inspired other people to write too. I discovered other Mayas. In some stories, you grew closer to classmates like Roos, Kiki, or Yfke. In others, you meet a new person in class who changes your life. Elsewhere, you discover a talent: in one universe you become an experienced pilot; in another, a developer of a successful mobile game living in Belgium.

I wanted to thank all of you. Thank you for creating a community that has been alive for months. A community that made me want to invest myself again, after I had mourned the loss of the internet communities I knew at the end of the 2000s. Thank you for your support over these months. Thank you for your feedback. Thank you for your contributions.

Finally, I return to you, Massa. I think you will never read this message, but I want to thank you as well and tell you why.

You revealed something in me I didn’t suspect: that I could write a complete story and convey strong emotions to readers. All this thanks to the show you built.

I know it was complicated for you and that your project didn’t end as you would have wanted.

But you can be proud that you started it. Likewise, I know some communities frustrated you. Know that you also allowed the creation of healthy communities and friendships online.

Look on the bright side and congratulate yourself for what you created.

So… THANK YOU ONGEZELLIG!

Savoieball»

After reading the second letter, Maya slowly opened her eyes. As expected, she was in her bedroom bed. Light was filtering through the blinds: it was already daylight. As she grabbed her phone to check the time, she saw two notifications, one from Arno and one from Curry, both wishing her a happy birthday. She knew that more would follow throughout the day.

The screen also revealed that she had fallen asleep on an Instagram post asking the question:

"What would you say to a younger version of yourself? "

Then she smelled the warm aroma of stroopwafels. It was surely Anna, her roommate and friend, who had decided to celebrate the day by making her breakfast.

Maya got up. It was shaping up to be a good day.

IMPORTANT INFORMATION BEFORE ANYTHING ELSE: I put the +18 rating because you need to understand that this is a story that will deal with drugs, addiction and abuse.

Good evening, everyone. It’s been over six months since I posted the first chapter of the Yfke fanfiction set in the Death and Reborn AU**.**

And here, at last, is the second chapter, this story will consist of three chapters in total.

The fanfic is also on AO3; please give it a like if you enjoyed it.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/78548911/chapters/238050731

_________________________________________________________________________

What is Death and Reborn for newcomers?

Death and Reborn is an alternative universe to Ongezellig, using elements from the series, the Mayamails and the comic Maya Sweet 16 to create a sequel to Ongezellig.

Synopsis: Following a harmless word from Coco, Maya explodes in anger and hits her sister, telling her how much she hates her. Riddled with remorse, Maya decides to commit suicide the following night by cutting her wrists. Saved by Coco just in time, she is placed in an induced coma in hospital, leaving the Schoppenboer family and her classmates in shock. After two days, Maya woke up and went to a mental health institute for troubled teenagers. There, Maya was finally able to talk to a therapist about her unhappiness and work on her social anxiety and ADHD. While in hospital, Maya made her first friends. As time went by, Maya felt more at ease and began to mend fences with her family, especially Coco.

This tragic event changed the lives of several Ongezellig characters, who you'll discover in my various fanfictions.

AU Death and Reborn is a story that is close to the atmosphere of Mayamail or Maya Sweet 16, dark and sad but with a message of hope. And sometimes even moments of joy.

The entire "Death and Reborn" universe can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/series/4692781

Other fics are currently being written, so the universe is far from over.

_________________________________________________________________________

Context: I've decided to write a series of stories connected to chapter 5 of Death and Reborn: Semicolon, which you can find here: https://www.reddit.com/r/ongezellig/comments/1iykkkz/chapter_5_death_and_reborn_semicolon_story/

In 2022, after failing college, Maya moves back in with her parents and falls into depression again. She's found a part-time job, but spends the money she earns on cannabis to escape her troubles. She's reconnected with Yfke, who has also returned to live in the small town where they went to high school together, a place that still has plenty to offer Maya.

_________________________________________________________________________

On this Saturday in November 2022, this shopping district in a small town in the Netherlands, usually lively on weekends, seems quite deserted. That's because the weather doesn't make anyone want to go out shopping: an icy wind slips through the narrow streets, and the rain finishes the job. The sky is so dark it feels as though the sun is already setting, even though it's only just past 3 p.m.

The calm of this street is broken by the arrival of an elegant young blonde woman walking with a determined stride. She shields herself as best she can with her umbrella from this dreadful weather. She's looking for a particular place. After a few moments, she arrives in front of a small building similar to the other homes on the street. She goes in and heads toward the mailboxes to check the surnames written on them, until she finds the one belonging to the person she's looking for. The young woman then climbs up to the apartment on the second floor, on the right. She stops for a few seconds in front of the door, thoughtful, takes a deep breath, and knocks.

For a few seconds that feel endless to her, nothing happens. Not a sound... then footsteps can discreetly be heard. The sound of a lock follows. The door opens slowly, just enough for the person living there to peek out without showing herself too much.

"Yes, hello?" the young woman asked, before recognizing the person who had just knocked on her door. "Coco? What are you doing here?!"

"Hi, Yfke... Sorry to bother you. I wanted to see you, because I need to talk to you," Coco replied.

Yfke opened the door all the way. Coco was surprised by her friend's new look: her red hair, cut into a half-hawk, gave her a punk appearance. It has to be said she hadn't seen her in at least a year and a half.

Yfke didn't want her friend to come in... but she knew her well enough. Coco would stay at her door until she got what she wanted. So she finally resolved to let her in.

"Come in..."

Coco crossed the threshold and stepped into her former classmate's studio apartment. She discovered a dimly lit, completely disordered apartment. It seemed the cleaning hadn't been done in several days: dishes piled up in the sink, the bed unmade, clothes stacked in a corner of the room, and traces of flour visible on the table.

Very embarrassed by the situation, Yfke looked for a way to divert Coco's attention from the state of her studio. She pushed the pile of clothes off her sofa bed and invited her to sit down.

"...Sorry for the mess. I didn't know you were coming to visit, otherwise I would have cleaned the place," she apologized.

Not knowing what else to do, she added:

"How are you? I'm sorry, I don't have anything to offer you. I didn't go grocery shopping today."

"I could be better," Coco replied. "I'm worried about Maya."

"Oh really? What's going on?" Yfke asked.

"I think you should already know, since you see her from time to time," Coco said in an accusing tone, before continuing: "I saw her last weekend. She was completely depressed and withdrawn. I've seen Maya like that before... and I know how it ended."

"She doesn't tell me anything about it," Yfke defended herself.

"Because she buys weed from you and leaves? You never actually talk?" Coco asked.

"I'd love to know how she's doing... but she's completely closed off. All I know is she moved back in with her parents a few months ago and that she contacts me to unwind."

"That's exactly the problem. You're giving her temporary forgetting, not a solution... Listen, Yfke, I know you won't like this, but I'd like you two to stop seeing each other for a while, at least until Maya gets better," the South African asked.

"WHAT? WHY?... You want to isolate her even more? And me too?" her former classmate protested.

"Yfke... I want you to understand. You're both sinking deeper into the situation you're in. You're not acting like a friend, even if you think you are."

Coco picked up the handbag she'd brought, opened it, and pulled out several pamphlets before holding them out to Yfke.

"...And I also thought about it before coming to see you, and I concluded that you, too, need help. You need to quit cannabis. That's why I brought you some documentation so you can learn more and talk to a professional about it."

Yfke refused to take the documents and pushed away Coco's hand as she held them out.

"And who are you to come into my home and lecture me? Are you going to act like Zoey now?"

"Yfke... I'm not here to preach at you. I know your living situation with Zoey ended badly, but she needed peace and quiet..."

"Zoey's a stuck-up bitch! She doesn't know how to have fun! She spends her evenings reading when she should have been enjoying her college years and having the best nights of her life. I knew how to have a good time in college," Yfke fumed.

"Yes, I know it's important to build social connections during your studies, but the goal isn't to party nonstop either. Zoey couldn't stand it anymore when you kept throwing parties in your shared apartment without telling her, when you both had class the next day... You needed to find a middle ground... You know, we could still try to patch things up with Zoey if that's what's bothering you..." Coco replied in a reassuring voice, before being interrupted.

"Coco... You didn't get what happened with Zoey! She threw me out of the apartment like garbage, threw my stuff outside, insulted me. I don't want to talk to her anymore!" the punk snapped.

"And did you talk about it with Cléo?" the young blonde asked.

"Ah... Cléo... She must have forgotten about me too. After all, I don't think she liked that I refused to follow her to her music school. She was the only one who believed in a career as a professional musician. And I think she'll get there... but without me. I never saw myself as a professional musician. The day she suggested we study together, I turned her down. I could feel she took it badly, even though she pretended otherwise. After all, I saw her again after I got kicked out, and it went badly: she took Zoey's side. Was that really my best friend? Was I the one in the wrong?" Yfke replied with a touch of bitterness, before adding: "Anyway, I've made other friends since then."

"Who are they?" Coco asked.

"None of your business!"

Coco looked suspicious. She had a feeling these new "friends" weren't as genuine as the old ones. She held onto her idea: maybe she could help patch things up between Yfke and the other members of her old band. That might help her become less dependent on cannabis, and by extension, protect Maya from a deeper addiction.

"You know, you've been going through a rough patch since the thing with Zoey, but I think a lot of water has passed under the bridge since then. You could take the first step to make up. Same with Cléo. She was probably disappointed that you refused to follow her in her studies, and frustrated that your conversation didn't lead anywhere, but I'm sure she's ready to make peace with you..." Coco said cheerfully, trying to put her friend at ease.

Yfke looked at her with a nasty expression. All she wanted was for Coco to go home and leave her alone. She had no desire to watch Charlie Morningstar lecture her about redemption at the Hazbin Hotel.

Coco continued:

"...To start, you should clean your apartment. You'll feel better once it's tidy. Look: you've got stuff everywhere, dishes piling up in the sink, and there's a bit of flour on your table..."

Coco paused, thinking she'd found a lead, then continued:

"Do you bake? If so, I'd love to try your cake. It might be really good... You should cook more often, it could help you build your confidence back up."

Yfke felt very uneasy that Coco had noticed the powder on the table, even though she tried not to let it show.

Coco walked over to the table and continued:

"...I'll help you take that first step by cleaning up... your... table."

Coco's usual cheerful air suddenly vanished. She looked closely at the powder. A heavy silence fell.

.

.

.

"Yfke?"

.

.

.

Yfke didn't answer, sensing that her friend was about to discover something she should never have known.

. . .

"This isn't flour... is it?"

.

.

.

Coco was studying in the social work field. It seemed like an obvious choice to her, given how she had always been ready to help others, even though she didn't yet have a precise idea of what job she would do once she finished her studies. She was very invested in her coursework and was among the top-scoring students in her class. Over the course of her studies, she had taken addiction-related courses and learned about the different types of drugs.

She thought this knowledge would be useful later, once she started working... She certainly hadn't expected to have to put it into practice today, in front of one of her best friends.

Cornered, Yfke stopped trying to hide it.

"Yes, it's cocaine. So what?"

Horror showed on Coco's face after this revelation. Her friend had fallen into the depths of addiction. This wasn't just occasional cannabis use anymore, but something far more serious.

"Y... Yfke... You've gotten this far?" she asked, her voice trembling.

"Yeah. Someone offered me some at a party and I thought it was super cool. Way better than weed. If you only knew how much energy it gives you," Yfke claimed.

At the mention of this comparison to cannabis, a shiver ran down Coco's spine. Doubt crept into her mind. She had a feeling the situation could be even worse for her sister.

She then asked in a firm tone:

"And did you offer that to Maya?"

"Oh no, God no! Let her stay far away from that shit, better for her. She doesn't even know I'm on coke," she replied.

"...And that 'shit,' you have no problem snorting it," Coco retorted.

"I have to. It lets me forget this shitty life. I'm entitled to a pick-me-up now and then. I've suffered enough as it is."

"This shitty life? You're the one creating it."

Yfke immediately raised her voice.

"If you knew my life, you'd never have said that!"

Sensing the situation was becoming more and more tense, Coco tried to defuse it.

"Yfke, calm down. I'm worried about you. You're sinking in even deeper. This is about your health. I know a bit about this, trust me... And then there are all the other problems that come with addiction, especially money problems. How are you paying your rent with what you spend on snorting?"

Yfke looked away, embarrassed by her friend's question.

Coco sat down on one of the chairs by the table before continuing.

"I mean... Are you currently working?"

"Sort of," Yfke replied hesitantly.

"Well, that's something... But you could lose your job if they find out you're coming to work under the influence."

"Don't worry... Uh... I'm self-employed," the tall woman assured her, still just as hesitant, as if trying to hide something.

Unconvinced by her friend's explanations, Coco glanced around. She noticed several packages scattered around the studio that she hadn't paid attention to when she arrived.

"I see some packages... Did you get into dropshipping? You know that doesn't pay very well... Well, it's something, I guess."

She stood up from her chair and walked toward a box at the back of the room, slightly ajar.

"So... Do you mind? I'll take a look at what you're selling, out of curiosity."

Yfke immediately shouted at her:

"THAT'S... NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!"

Surprised by her former classmate's reaction, Coco sensed something suspicious about that box. She kept approaching it. Yfke tried to block her, but was pushed aside by the sheer strength of the rugby player's athletic right arm. Once in front of the box, Coco opened it fully to see what was inside. She immediately noticed it contained several bags of drugs.

She slowly turned her head toward Yfke, who could no longer hide the truth.

"Yfke... There are way too many bags here for personal use... You're screwing with me when you tell me you have a little side job... YOUR JOB IS DEALING DRUGS?! AND THOSE ARE THE NEW FRIENDS YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT? GANGSTERS?!"

A few tears began to roll down Coco's cheeks, completely overwhelmed by what she had just discovered: one of her best friends had become a criminal.

"Shh! Quiet! You're going to get me caught!" Yfke whispered.

Coco struggled more and more to hold back her sobs before adding:

"Damn it, Yfke... Do you realize what kind of mess you're getting yourself into? I don't want you to end up like that. You know it's only going to get worse? You could go to prison... or worse, get killed! You're working for the Mocro Maffia, aren't you? You know all their stories, you can't ignore that! I don't want to lose you, damn it! You have no idea how much I care about you, even if you think otherwise."

Coco wiped her tears with the back of her hand before asking Yfke another question.

"Is there anything else I should know about your addiction? Are you making money some other way too?"

Yfke stayed silent. Coco looked deep into her eyes and saw something absolutely terrifying there. A shiver ran down her spine. She instinctively understood that she shouldn't push further, at least not right now.

Still searching for another way to convince Yfke to abandon this path, she tried a new argument.

"...Yfke... I know there's no point bringing up our friends... But have you thought about your family? Would your mother have wanted you to become what you are today?"

At the mention of her mother, Yfke completely exploded.

"My mother? You're still incapable of understanding, you poor fool! You lived in the best of worlds, with the best families you could have had! Did you think it was some kind of fairy tale? Well let me make things very clear...

...IT'S BETTER TO HAVE NO FAMILY AT ALL THAN A SHITTY FAMILY!"

.

.

.

An icy silence fell over the studio. Those words had been said with the sole purpose of hurting Coco. Yfke knew perfectly well that family, whether biological or adoptive, was a subject she should never attack her about.

.

.

.

Coco lowered her head before replying in a calm, steady voice.

"Yfke... Why do you hurt yourself so much?"

She had understood that Yfke was trying to provoke a violent reaction in order to end the conversation. A long time ago, Coco had confided in her about what she had almost done to Maya, one day in October 2018, after Maya had brought up her missing biological family. Yfke also knew what Coco had done to Maya's bully. To her, family was sacred.

"...I know you wanted me to react violently to put an end to this conversation... But for years now, I've been working on myself. I've learned to understand the causes of my anger and to face them," Coco added before continuing.

"I was naive in this conversation. You're right, I was still assuming you had a loving family. But... I should have realized it sooner. The day we argued about this, years ago, you told me I shouldn't hurt myself to save Maya, and that some families were rotten. Back then, that concept was completely foreign to me, but I think I've finally opened my eyes... You have serious family problems, and that's the real cause of your troubles... I'm sorry I didn't understand that sooner."

At Coco's conclusion, Yfke understood there was no point hiding her heaviest secret any longer. She began to cry, almost hysterically. For the first time in a long while, she was going to be able to pour out all her pain to someone.

Coco gently took her in her arms before inviting her to sit with her on the bed. For several long minutes, she tried to comfort her friend as best she could. Once the emotional storm had passed, Yfke asked a question that sounded like a confession.

"Do you know what it's like to be an unwanted child?"

Coco clenched her own wrist as Yfke answered her own question.

"My mother never wanted me... and... I never knew my father. I must have been an accident... My mother was a junkie, like me today. It was my grandparents who took me in, in Friesland. I spent the first five years of my life there. I was happy there. Back then, I had understood what it meant to be loved.

But one day, my mother came back for me. She said she had changed, that she'd met a new partner, and that we would finally be able to live together. I thought everything would go well, but a few months later, I realized she wasn't better and that her partner was violent. One night, she managed to run away with me. We slept in a car for several days before she found a small apartment in our town.

She made me promise not to say anything so we'd never be separated again... And yet, she still didn't care about me at all. She used the welfare money to buy her drugs..."

Yfke burst into tears again, unable to hold back the pain of her childhood any longer.

"...God... Do you know what it's like not to eat some nights? To have to stay outside for hours because 'someone's coming to see mom at home'? And to grow up believing all of that is normal?

Cléo's mother is the one who practically raised and fed me. I admired her. She was a single mother too, but she always stayed strong. Despite her struggles, she always put her daughter's well-being first. She kept trying to help my mother get clean. Sometimes it worked. For several months, she'd stay clean and even find small jobs. But she always relapsed in the end.

Then, at fifteen, I saw weed sitting on a table. I tried to copy the moves I'd seen my birth mother make and rolled my first joint. I still remember coughing the first few times... before feeling good. That's when I understood why my mother used drugs. For a few hours, I had no problems at all. I was simply fine.

My mother screamed at me. Not because I'd started smoking, but because she was furious I'd taken her cannabis. And I didn't care one bit.

School, friends... I didn't really care what they thought of me. You'll say... none of you were really worried about me either. The only time I felt any guilt was the day Cléo's mother caught me smoking. She didn't say anything... but I saw immense disappointment in her eyes."

Yfke caught her breath between sobs, then continued her account.

"...I know things went badly with Zoey in college because I acted like a huge bitch, but I never wanted to admit it. I didn't go to college to study. I went to get as far away from my mother as possible and to party.

When she kicked me out, it hurt me a lot... even though, deep down, she was right.

I ended up having to move back in with my mother. It went very badly. We fought constantly and were regularly under the influence of drugs.

The irony is, she's the one who finally kicked me out when she realized I'd started dealing to pay for my habit. The guy who supplied me said I was the perfect person to sell for, because I looked too innocent, at least when I wasn't high, to arouse suspicion. I think it scared her.

And here I am today... in this shabby apartment... After all, I guess I was destined to end up like my mother after all..."

Coco, in deep disagreement with this statement, immediately pushed back.

"No! I can't let you say that! You don't have to repeat your mother's destructive patterns! You said you were very close to Cléo's mother and that she was your role model. Since you didn't have exemplary parents, try to draw inspiration from her instead. I know her too. She was one of the most resilient and kind people I've ever known. And you told me about your grandparents. You said you were happy when you lived with them. What if you got back in touch with them?"

"You think they'd want that? They probably see me as a second failure after my mother's..." Yfke doubted.

"Yfke... You're not a lost cause. They must still think about you. But you also need to understand you won't be able to get through this alone..."

Coco pulled out the addiction documentation she had brought and held it out to her again.

"You need to call these numbers. That'll already be a first step. Then, you'll need to get rid of the drugs as quickly as possible..."

"No... I can't. They'll find me," she exclaimed, worried at the thought.

Coco thought for a few moments before making her a proposal.

"Then disappear without a trace. Take all your things, but leave the drugs here. I think they'll leave you alone if they get their merchandise back. Call the numbers I gave you, run away to your grandparents' place, and keep a low profile. And if you need to be hospitalized to treat your addiction, do it. I can try to help you find a good facility."

Yfke nodded simply.

Coco continued:

"I'd also like you to cut off all contact with Maya for a while, so you can both rebuild yourselves. You won't be able to do it together. Maya isn't doing well. I need her to discover something else."

"Will Maya be alone again? Like before?" Yfke worried.

"No. I think I know someone who can help her. But I don't want to be constantly hovering over her anymore. I think she's capable of picking herself back up... You know, she's already done it once."

These words gave Yfke a bit of hope back. She remembered that Maya had tried to end her life a few years earlier. And yet, she had managed to rebuild herself, to the point of opening up more to others and becoming her friend.

"Yfke... I need to go, I have to leave. There's one last thing I want to tell you: the final decision is yours. You now have all the cards in your hands. I just hope to see the person I once knew again one day."

Coco left her friend's apartment, leaving her alone once more.

Yfke stayed frozen for several long minutes before pulling herself together. She grabbed the pamphlet Coco had left her and dialed the number written on it.

She didn't know it yet, but this simple act was going to save her life.

_________________________________________________________________________

Stepping out of the building, Coco noticed that the rain had turned into a fine drizzle. The streets were now sinking into darkness, and the shop windows and apartment windows were beginning to light up.

She opened her umbrella, then took out her phone. She opened WhatsApp and went to the group chat "Running in the 60's," which Yfke had left a long time ago.

Still not entirely comfortable with new technology, Coco took her time writing her message.

"Hoi! I just went to see Yfke. She's really not doing well, but I think I made her understand she was spiraling downward. I hope she'll reconsider things. If I get a positive response from her, I'll keep you posted. I think we'll need to have a conversation, all four of us."

Once the message was sent, she opened her contact list, searched for "Anna," and made the call.

After a few rings, a voice answered.

"Hello?"

"Anna? It's Coco."

"Coco?! How are you? It's been ages since we talked! And Maya? Is she doing okay? I haven't heard from her in months. Did she ghost me?"

Coco took a deep breath.

"Actually... that's what I wanted to talk to you about. She's not doing well at all. She's fallen back into depression...

...and I need your help."

Author’s note: this story deals with adolescent distress, panic attacks, and self-harm ideation. Please be careful if you are sensitive to this kind of subject matter.

Author’s note 2: I use some personal lore in this story. In my universe, Kris is a version of Frisk coming from the soulless pacifist route of Deltarune. This version of Frisk is therefore controlled by Chara, who uses their powers to travel to another universe. Their goal was to find a universe where they would find Asriel alive. Chara managed to get themselves adopted into the world of Deltarune under the name of Kris.

Rudy is the Knight and is in league with Kris. His goal is to free Dess from a Dark World.

Frisk is not human; they are the first vessel created by Dr. Gaster.

Some events from Chapter 5 will be briefly mentioned in this story, notably regarding the relationship between Noelle and Susie.

This story is also posted on AO3; feel free to leave a kudos if you enjoyed it: https://archiveofourown.org/works/88118586

I also created an alternate universe based on Ongezellig that likewise deals with themes related to adolescent distress, suicide, and rebuilding oneself: https://archiveofourown.org/series/4692781

One last note: since English isn’t my native language, I’ll admit I used AI for the translation. I also used it to correct any mistakes.

___________________________________________________________

It’s the end of the morning in a small town known for the fact that humans and monsters have been trying to live together for about ten years now, with a fair amount of success. Although humans were worried at first to see monsters coming out of their cave, they quickly realized the monsters were completely harmless and welcomed this new population with open arms.

This integration was made possible by a small child who had also come out of that cave and who had freed the monsters from their prison. The kid told them their history and their intentions, which helped defuse the situation.

This child, whose origins nobody knew, found refuge with Mrs. Toriel, known as the former queen of what used to be called the Underground and now working as a teacher in a mixed school.

Then, one day, not long after the cohabitation began, the child disappeared without a trace. Monsters and humans joined forces to find the little one, but without success. Over time, the town’s residents moved on, though it left a void among the monsters who had grown attached to them. Theories flew around: some thought they had simply moved on with their journey, others that it had been an angel come to fulfill a destiny whose mission was now complete. This last belief gave rise to a cult among some people, led by Father Alvin.

But a few weeks ago, that same kid reappeared in town without saying a word. They had grown up and become a teenager. They naturally made their way to their adoptive mother’s house, who recognized them immediately and welcomed them with indescribable joy. They seemed lost and hurt.

In the days that followed, all their old friends came to see them, except for the two skeleton monsters, who had also disappeared several years earlier. Their loved ones noticed something strange about them: they seemed to have lost their SOUL. They reassured themselves, however, by telling themselves that whatever they had been through all those years had deeply traumatized them and that they simply needed to be given time.

Toriel didn’t try to ask her adopted child too many questions; they must have endured too much to be able to tell everything right away.

This person’s name is Frisk… but in another universe, where they lived for years, they were called Kris.

And since their return, they rarely left their bed, getting up only to go eat a little, especially the pies made by their adoptive mother, before going back to their room. From time to time, they would take long showers.

That was the case again this morning, and as always, they turned the hot water up as far as it would go, hoping to find in it some illusion of emotional comfort. They also washed their hair with apple-scented shampoo, to remind themselves of a moment of closeness they had experienced in another life.

After what felt to them like an endless moment, Frisk decided to turn off the tap. That scalding shower hadn’t let them recover the gentle feeling they had recently known. They were immediately confronted with the coldness of their new existence.

They dried off before putting on new clothes echoing the colors of the ones they had worn during their visit to the Underground, a gift from Toriel, who wanted to make up for lost time with her adopted child.

Frisk went back to their room, walked over to the window, and stood there. They looked at Mount Ebott with an empty gaze, the place where it had all begun. They stayed motionless for long minutes, like a mannequin displayed behind the window of a clothing store.

Then they decided to lie back down in bed. They lay down and hugged their pillow as tightly as they could, trying to relive both the best and the worst moment of their life: the one that had let them share their feelings with Susie, but also the last one spent with her.

___________________________________________________________

The adventure was over in the Dark World.

 

Frisk had just regained their freedom and their identity.

But at what cost? They felt that they would soon be leaving again for the world they had come from.

Under the name of Kris, they had known terrible battles: alongside Rudy, who was the Knight and with whom they had gotten along from the very beginning to find December; against the Titans, whose awakening they nonetheless bore some responsibility for; against the SOUL; and above all, worst of all, against their friends, including the one they loved: Susie.

This war, along with other quests, allowed them to uncover the truth. By giving Dr. Gaster back a body, Frisk learned that the scientist was their creator, and that this body was nothing more than an experiment aimed at creating a vessel.

A final inner battle followed, against the one hosted in their body: Chara. He revealed to them that he had obtained this body by striking a sordid bargain with the SOUL in order to undo a genocide committed in the world of Undertale. He also reminded them of Frisk’s true identity, the reason for their arrival in the world of Deltarune, and the origin of the name Kris.

In the end, Chara found the peace they had lost during their childhood before their soul vanished, finally letting go of all the anger and hatred that the cursed child had accumulated over their many lives.

Of that final battle, only two presences remained at Frisk’s side: the SOUL…

And Susie.

Despite everything, Susie had stayed loyal to Kris.

Despite the fratricidal battle.

Despite the tears.

Despite the suffering.

And as Frisk’s body slowly began to be covered in a white light, signaling an imminent dimensional journey to the world of Undertale, they shared one last embrace with Susie.

Susie held her travel companion very tightly, knowing their farewell was near. She was torn between hatred, sadness, and love. The powerful warrior began to feel a certain warmth, a soothing warmth. Her heart was beating faster and faster, while butterflies filled her stomach. She had already felt this these past two days with Noelle, at the start of their relationship. Doubt crept into her mind.

She lifted her head, which had been resting on Kris’s left shoulder, before asking them a question.

« Kris… I talked with the SOUL because I thought earlier that she might have a crush on me too, and I asked her if you also had feelings for me. She assured me that you did. Is that true? »

The vessel gathered what little strength they had left to whisper a few words.

At these words, Susie began to blush. She paused before continuing.

« You love me too… like Noelle… Since when? »

Kris answered her, still in a whisper.

« Since the very first time? Seriously? I intimidate you, and all that does is make you develop feelings for me… You’re really strange! »

Tears rolled down the dragon girl’s cheeks.

« You’re even an idiot. Couldn’t you just have given me a box of chocolates or some flowers like everyone else? » Susie added in a stern tone, before reconsidering. « …But I probably would have devoured them before I ended up intimidating you again… So, yeah, maybe that wouldn’t have been such a good idea. »

Susie lowered her eyes and softened her voice.

« You’ve done so much for me this past week… You gave me a place to stay, you showed me that I wasn’t a lost cause, that I had the right to love and to be loved. You made me discover a side of myself I didn’t know existed. For the first time in my life, I had confidence in myself… I should have realized your feelings sooner. You gave me hints, but I didn’t understand them, and you were incapable of fully expressing what you felt… »

A brief silence followed before she went on with her monologue.

« …It must have been awful for you to watch me date Noelle, to see that scene on the beach during the festival… to see us flirting… »

Then, without warning, Susie’s tone changed completely.

« But wait, what am I even saying… »

Before flying into a black rage.

« HERE I AM FEELING SORRY FOR YOU WHEN YOU ALMOST DESTROYED SEVERAL UNIVERSES JUST TO WIN ME OVER?! YOU’RE SICK, KRIS! I WAS SYMPATHIZING WITH YOUR SADNESS WHILE I WAS DATING NOELLE, WHEN YOU’RE A SELFISH JERK WHO THREW A JEALOUS FIT BECAUSE YOU DIDN’T GET THE WARRIOR’S KISS! YOU SAY YOU LOVE ME, BUT WE FOUGHT EACH OTHER YESTERDAY! YOU TRIED TO HURT ME! DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH THAT BATTLE BROKE MY HEART AND MY ILLUSIONS?! YOU MANIPULATED ALL OF US BY BEING IN LEAGUE WITH THE KNIGHT FROM THE VERY START! YOU OPENED THE FOUNTAINS! AND DON’T YOU HIDE BEHIND THE SOUL! SHE MIGHT NOT BE INNOCENT, BUT SHE COULDN’T HAVE DONE THAT! »

The warrior caught her breath before continuing with the same fury.

« I’M GOING TO DO WHAT I SHOULD HAVE DONE SEVEN DAYS AGO… HOW DO YOU FEEL… ABOUT LOSING YOUR FACE? »

Susie pulled Kris’s head closer to her jaws, ready to carry out her punishment. She began to open her mouth; her fangs were visible… before she stopped herself.

« I… I… can’t… No… »

Her expression changed. She closed her mouth and turned her head away, shutting her eyes so she wouldn’t see Kris’s face anymore. She began to tremble, betraying her hesitation.

Gradually, her muscles relaxed and her breathing calmed.

She turned her head back toward Kris, then slowly opened her eyes again. Her gaze fell tenderly on her former adventuring companion.

Slowly, she brought her face close to them and, however clumsily…

She kissed Kris.

Her lips brushed against those of the person who loved her. Unable to react to the situation, Kris could only stand there, powerless, as this turn of events unfolded. They both blushed.

« Kris… Frisk… or whoever you are… I hate you… but at the same time, I love you! Like I love Noelle! »

She began to sob, unable to control the emotions running through her. Kris joined her in that moment.

Feeling their body slowly slipping away from them, Frisk gathered their last remaining strength and gently placed their hands on their beloved’s cheeks. They stroked her face with their right hand and took the chance to wipe away her tears. Susie blushed. She felt herself relax, before noticing that Frisk was bringing their face closer to hers.

Realizing that they wanted to kiss her in turn, Susie closed her eyes, wanting only to focus on the feeling of the kiss she was about to receive.

But nothing happened.

Puzzled, Susie opened her eyes again and could only watch in horror as Frisk’s body was now covered in a white light and beginning to disintegrate.

In denial, Susie screamed:

« NO! NOOOOOO! STAY HERE, KRIS! YOU DIDN’T DO ALL OF THIS JUST TO ABANDON US AT THE FIRST CHANCE YOU GET! COME BACK HERE, OR I SWEAR I’LL FIND YOU AND I WILL ACTUALLY EAT YOUR HEAD! »

Realizing there was nothing more she could do to keep her second love in her universe, despite her desperate screams, she gave in and asked in a surprisingly calm voice:

« Frisk… I don’t know where you’ll end up, but promise me something… »

 

« Don’t forget. »

___________________________________________________________ 

Frisk snapped out of their daydream. They replayed that scene in their head several times a day, and each memory sank them a little deeper into sadness.

They loosened their grip on their pillow before moving their frail body to the edge of the bed, where they sat curled up on themself.

They couldn’t manage to find any taste for their old life again. Frisk often wondered about their true identity and about which universe they truly belonged to.

The teenager also felt the weight of other timelines, that of all the SOULS that had manipulated their body over the course of disturbing experiences. They lived through genocide routes they had not actually committed in this timeline, saw themself torment Toriel or Papyrus, and felt as though they had died thousands of times facing Sans. They also saw themself manipulate Noelle, forcing her to wear a ring…

They wondered why they were even still alive. After all, they were the product of an experiment run by a mad scientist, before being used by millions of twisted SOULS, then haunted by a child consumed by their hatred of humans.

Deep down… they weren’t even really human. What were they even doing in a world populated by monsters and humans?

After a few minutes of stillness, Frisk agreed to sit up straight. An idea had just crossed their mind. They stood up and began to walk. A heavy silence hung over the house, which was usually so peaceful. Frisk’s footsteps echoed slowly, heavily. The house itself seemed weighed down by that sound.

They left their room and headed toward the stairs. Passing in front of a mirror, they stopped, stared at their reflection, and thought:

 

« Despite everything… you’re nobody. »

 

Frisk went down the stairs, still with heavy steps, before heading to the kitchen. Then they stopped in front of one particular drawer. They gripped the handle and pulled it toward them.

Nothing.

They tried again several times, each attempt harder and faster than the last. Frisk had to face the facts.

 

« The drawer is locked. »

 

Frisk dropped to their knees before frantically pounding their fist on the floor. They kept going until the pain in their wrist finally calmed their fury.

Struggling to catch their breath, the young person thought:

« You locked the drawer, Toriel… Very clever of you. You must have feared that one day I’d go looking for a knife. You already went through that with Chara… even though, for me, I only wanted to cut myself. »

Faced with the situation and their own suffering, Frisk began to be overwhelmed by anguish. Their forehead broke out in sweat as their thoughts spiraled out of control.

« It hurts… Why can’t I find any semblance of normal life? Why can’t I get this pain out of me? I want to cut myself, but that would only be a temporary fix. It wouldn’t solve anything…

And what if… ? What if I disappeared for good?

After all, that’s all I deserve. I should never have existed. If I can’t do it with a knife… I can do it some other way… »

Unable to calm their panic, Frisk searched for a way to disappear for good. In their haste, an idea suddenly seemed obvious.

« Mount Ebott! Of course! I could end everything right where it all began. I’d just have to climb to the top… then jump into the void. »

But almost immediately, their mind raised counterarguments to that idea.

« No… Chara did the same thing, and they landed on the bed of flowers…

…What if I got more of a running start?…

No… There’s no guarantee I would die. I might only end up badly hurt… And then I might land on Flowey, who never asked for any of this… he doesn’t need to see my body twisted up like a lifeless puppet. He’s already been through far too much trauma. »**

Frisk then remembered a promise that pulled them back to their senses a little.

 

« Don’t forget. »

 

The promise Susie had asked them to keep.

Frisk resumed the argument with themself.

« Susie wants me to think of her… But does she still think of me? After all, she’s dating Noelle now. She’s going to move on with her. I bet right now they’re baking cookies together, or walking on the beach.

She’s going to end up forgetting about me, you know that very well!

And besides… I betrayed her. I hurt her. Why would she still have any positive thoughts about me?

No… We went through an extraordinary adventure together. We shared incredible moments together. She can’t forget me! »**

Their thoughts grew more and more intense, almost violent.

« It hurts… And here I am, stuck here because of a promise she’ll never even be able to check on.

If I die… will she even find out?

No.

She’ll never come here.

…It hurts…

Sans has a machine that lets you travel between universes. He could lend it to Susie…

No. He’ll never lend it out. And I bet he destroyed it, since he doesn’t need it anymore now that all his problems are solved.

…It hurts more and more…

I want to end it… But it would be selfish to abandon Toriel, Undyne, Alphys, and Asgore. They waited for me for years…

NO!

They did just fine without me all that time. They’d get over it again.

I don’t want to spend the rest of my life pretending to smile when I’m neither human nor monster… just an empty shell with no SOUL.

…Help me… I’m hurting…

You could live moments with them again: cooking with mom, gardening with dad, spending an evening with Undyne and Alphys, watching one of Mettaton’s shows.

You only see the negative. And yet, you’ve also had so many happy moments, both in Undertale and with Susie!

It’s not you who committed all those horrors!

IT’S MY BODY THAT COMMITTED THEM!

THE GENOCIDES!

THE MANIPULATIONS!

THE HARASSMENT!

IF CHARA WAS IN MY BODY, THERE MUST HAVE BEEN A REASON!

AND EVEN IF I DIDN’T COMMIT THOSE ACTS, I BETRAYED SUSIE… AND I’M ASHAMED OF IT!

It hurts…

It hurts…

It hurts…

Hurts…

Hurts…

Hurts…

Hurtshurtshurts…

HURTS! »

 

 

« IT HURTS… AND I NEED TO SCREAM! »

 

 

Knock! Knock!

Frisk was suddenly pulled out of their panic attack by someone knocking at the door. They stood up, tried their best to make themself presentable, and headed to the entryway.

Opening the door, their face lit up.

« Um… hi… I’m looking for Frisk. Is that you? » a teenage girl asked shyly.

It was Susie, in the flesh. But she looked slightly different. She was wearing a black leather jacket over a t-shirt for what looked like a rock band, equally black pants, and a pair of red high-top sneakers. Her rebellious look contrasted with the elegant white ribbon holding her hair back.

Frisk stood there, speechless, in front of this almost miraculous vision.

« Um… did you see a ghost or something?… Anyway, I’m Susy, with a Y. I’m pointing that out because everyone writes “Susie.” I don’t know why. » she warned.

Then she went on:

« People have told me a lot about you these past few days. First my neighbor, who met you in the Underground and had already told me about you back then. And then Undyne, my gym teacher, told me we’d probably get along and that it would be nice for us to get to know each other so you could meet some people your own age. Want to do something together? »**

At that offer, Frisk’s eyes lit up. Still unable to say a word, they answered with a huge smile.

« You’re not much of a talker… All right, I’ll take that as a yes. Come on, let’s go… And… uh… stop staring at me like that! You’re weird! » Susy asked, embarrassed by Frisk’s gaze.

Frisk put on their shoes and left the house.

They walked side by side.

« Aren’t you hungry? I am. Especially since your hair smells like apples… makes me want to devour it… Want to grab a bite together? »**

Realizing that a new story might be starting to be written, Frisk finally found the strength to answer.

« Is Grillby’s still around? Yeah, it is! I’m totally in! » Susy exclaimed.

Little by little, Frisk rediscovered the pleasure of conversation.

« …Seriously?! ALL the ketchup fell on your burger?! HAHAHA! I would’ve loved to see that! Stuff like that must happen to you all the time, I love it… Undyne was right, we’re going to get along great. Come on, let’s do the exact same thing and order a ketchup with a burger! » Susy suggested, sounding delighted.

Frisk felt like they were coming back to life; Susy’s presence brought back precious memories. But this time, they weren’t trying to relive the past. They wanted to build something new.

After all… maybe Frisk had finally found where they belonged.