River Monsters Potentially Saved My Life
TW: DV
So yeah... You read the title correctly, an episode of River Monsters basically protected me from greater evil! I will get into how but, first some context.
In honor of the 7 year anniversary of this awful date, I figured I would finally share with the world what happened because honestly it kind of baffles my mind still to this day. To set the scene, I was a naive and insecure 17F who just wanted to go out and have fun. It's almost the end of the summer and I was down to do just about anything if it meant I could leave the house. I met this guy online, let's name him Gus. Gus and I briefly talked VIA social media and decided to finally meet up. We were both broke and decided to go people watching which I love doing. The date went great, felt a bit more friendly but no problems. We went back to his apartment which was within walking distance and we just hung out for a couple of hours watching TV. Whenever I get home, he sends me a message stating like "Hey, had a great time but I am not sure if I really want to see you again. I just didn't feel a strong connection." Okay sick, no problem. Thanks for being straight forward with me and not ghosting. We stop talking.
About a couple of months pass, I see a message from Gus pops up. "Hey, I was thinking about you and I can't seem to remember why we stopped talking." Something of that nature. Blah, blah, blah. We set up another date. I wasn't expecting much of it but, our first people watching session was a blast so I figured this was more of a friendly sort of vibe. "Let's meet at my apartment again and we can walk back down to the spot (to people watch)." Okay perfect, didn't think much of it. What I stumbled upon at his apartment I was not expecting and realistically any sane person would have left.
I step out of my car to see himself draped over the railing of his front porch, he had a beer in his hand but, obviously already been drinking. His neck had hickies on them and he just looked a mess. Instead of saying "Oh wow! This person seems extremely unstable maybe I should go!" I stay and ask when are we going to start our adventure! Anyways... We walk to our people watching spot, barely holding a conversation because he is slurring his words. I cut things early and ask if we can walk back. Everything up until this point was obviously not ideal but, it was whatever. We walk back to his apartment and I ask if I can use his bathroom before I left. I wasn't concerned about going into his apartment, I was already once in there and he acted like a gentleman. He also wasn't a full 12 pack deep and god knows what else last time but, here is to trusting!
The first time I went to his apartment, he had a roommate. This time the roommate mysteriously just moved out so it was just him and I in the apartment. That also being said, a bunch of the furniture was also moved out. It almost looked like a squatter's house with a few knick knacks. Before I can make it to the bathroom, he asks if we can sit on the couch for a moment. Okay dude whatever, I suppose I can hold it. We sit on this ugly floral couch and just casually talk. I am sitting on the edge of the couch, obviously not making it seem like I am staying for a long time. He is sitting as deep as he can and looking like he could just pass out at any moment. Finally, his intentions start peeking through "Is this the part where we are supposed to start making out?" He must be joking because I am obviously so disinterested. I just wanted to use the bathroom. "No, I don't think so." We end up kissing a little bit anyways but I am trying to like push him off. Finally, he latches off of me and is asking me about "What turns you on?" "No, I really don't want to talk about that." He then starts to fantasize about what I might be into vocally and then BOOM. He slaps me right across my face. Literally felt like I was in a cartoon and my head was going to start spinning. I am SHOCKED. Basically tries to tell me he didn't hit me but he was just being kinky. So, I am like yeah.... I am LEAVING!!!! I start to get up and he grabs my arms. "Please don't leave... I am so sorry..." At this point, terrified! Horrified! Mortified! I felt trapped and I literally couldn't leave. He is trying to make amends, I felt like I was deescalating the situation. Nope.
He jolted up and took both of his hands and slapped them super hard ontop of my thighs. Once again, absolutely no way he can think this is consentual, right?... I pleaded him to just STOP HITTING ME! Then he threw me off of the couch because I was "sitting too close to the edge so, how could he not?" Once again, grabs me and pulls me back to the couch. At this point, every terrible thought is going through my head. He starts almost crying and begging me to hold him?
You would not believe what this man made me do. He had me sitting on the couch so he could put his head in my lap and made me cuddle him? Sir are you actually joking? But you know what, if this will get this man to stop hitting me and maybe make him calm. Sure, you can lay in my lap like a dog. "I am at a breaking point, you are making me simp for you." Blah blah blah. You can't be serious dude? Oh he was. He was planning our future together, telling me he wants to do everyday things today like grocery shop, chores, etc. At this point I am like, this dude is high on god I don't even know. He is fantasizing about what life together would be like. Finally he is calm enough and asks me to spend the night. I say "Oh no! I would love to but, I am supposed to go to a friend's house tonight. She is going through a break-up so I want to be there." He is begging me and begging me to stay. "No, I really can't but how about tomorrow? I am free if you are, maybe we can run to the store or something too." He is agreeing and still begging me. Finally, I am like "Oh snap! It is late, I am running late to that sleepover." I swear he must have forgotten what we literally just went through. He is understanding and insists on walking me to my car. What a gentleman! I try to tell him he doesn't have to but, of course he must do this. He walks me out to my car but put his hand on the front door. So I had no way of getting into my car realistically. He lived down a dead end in a neighborhood that if I screamed, no one is probably giving a damn. He was also atleast 6'4 and athletic. So I couldn't like run or like pry open the door. I felt like I was in a game of Dungeons and Dragons rolling for charisma. So I am trying to sweet talk him basically that I will see him tomorrow and that I really have to go. I had a great time and we will have an even better time tomorrow, wink wink (disgusting and obviously I was never coming back). He is begging me to cancel and stay and starting to get more stern about this "offer". Finally and god I wish I knew how we stumbled upon this but, I think we were talking about a nearby river and swimming. I brought up the episode of River Monsters where the little fish swims up the man's urethra? Season 1 episode 6 if anyone was curious. He says he has no clue what I am talking about so I pull up the episode on youtube on my phone. Thank god this episide just happened to be free and easily accessible. We are watching the clip and making commentary. Just two people, watching videos of men being terrorized by these fish and Jeremy Wade just doing what he does best. He takes his hand off of my car and leans in to watch the video. I am slowly moving closer to my car and as soon as the episode ended. "Well, I gotta go!" I was able to grab the handle and jump in the car at what felt like light speed. Immediately locked the doors and drove away. Want to know what else? I never got to use the bathroom. As soon as I got into my car, my body remembered I had to go for basically over an hour and I peed myself in my car. At that point, I literally did not care. I was just driving home in my pee soaked seat and heart pounding. As soon as I got home, blocked Gus on everything and felt like I had to pray to Jeremy Wade like he was god. So moral of the story, be careful who you decide to go on a second date with and always keep some weird shit in your back pocket.
