u/Seashell_Soup

Hello!

I recently moved to Nice and the weather is perfect now to go swimming but I don’t know how🫣

I can kinda swim a bit and can sort of stay afloat in pools but i have difficulty treading water and swimming more than a few meters because i never officially learned so i don’t really have any skills.

Does anyone have any suggestions on where to find swimming lessons for adults here in Nice? and are there any places that offer lessons in the ocean where you can learn to swim in open water?

Thanks in advance🙏

I know this is a very vague question lol but I’m trying to find an expression that contains a word that sounds kinda like batiller or batailleur. Basically a few weeks ago I was getting the mail and ran into an older neighbor and his grandson, we talked about the weather and i made a joke to the grandson about me and his grandpa having to rest a lot because we’re “old” (grandson is 23, i’m 26 and grandpa 70).

Anyway as I was leaving I said « je dois aller dormir parce que vous savez je n’ai plus d’énergie surtout à mon âge !! » (very obviously a joke) and the grandpa pretended to be offended and said « bah seashell_soup mais tu dis des trucs batailleurs/tu fais des discours de batiller » or something like that, he was also obviously pretending to be offended. i wish i caught the expression but i didn’t hear all of it and i totally forgot about it until now. i just remember a word that sounds like batiller but i don’t think that’s a real word in french. Is there any expression in french that sounds like this and could be used to convey real or fake irritation at someone?

My mother is chinese-vietnamese and in her early 60s now, she lost a lot of her youth bc of immigration trauma. I’m almost 27 now and she thinks I am an extension of her, she’s unable to separate the concept of me from her as a person. Yesterday she saw a photo of me at an event at my school that was posted on social media. It was just a regular school dinner after a conference, for context I am currently in grad school and live far from her. We only speak occasionally on the phone.

She mentioned it to me and then spent the whole time complaining about how she didn’t like my outfit. It wasn’t even about it being ugly, it was about how SHE didn’t like it and how it was something SHE wouldn’t wear.

Not once did she ask how the event was, how I was doing, what I did or if I had fun or anything.

It was literally “why did you wear that?” “I don’t like how frumpy it is” “there was a girl wearing a dress why didn’t you wear a dress?” “I want my daughter to be more girly” “I wish my daughter had a nice dress like that!” “you need to be more điệu !!!”

It made me realize that she sees me as some avatar in a video game that she can personalize as if it’s her own character. It’s like she’s getting a chance to live life again through me, her new video game avatar, and she gets upset when it goes “off script.” Now that I am past 25, I just ignore it tbh because I know she will never change and it doesn’t really have anything to do with me, but it still makes me sad.

Is anyone else’s mother like this?

Yesterday my mother saw a photo of me at an event at my school that was posted on social media. It was just a regular school dinner after a conference, for context I am in a masters program and live far from her and only speak to her occasionally.

She mentioned it to me and then spent the whole time complaining about how she didn’t like my outfit. It wasn’t even about it being ugly, it was about how SHE didn’t like it and how it was something SHE wouldn’t wear.

Not once did she ask how the event was, how I was doing, what I did or if I had fun or anything.

It was literally “why did you wear that?” “I don’t like how frumpy it is” “there was a girl wearing a dress why didn’t you wear a dress?” “I want my daughter to be more girly” “I wish my daughter had a nice dress like that!” “you need to be more điệu !!!”

It made me realize that she sees me as some avatar in a video game that she can personalize as if it’s her own character. It’s like she’s getting a chance to live life again through me, her new video game avatar, and she gets upset when it goes “off script.” Now that I am past 25, I just ignore it tbh because I know she will never change and it doesn’t really have anything to do with me, but it still makes me sad.

Is anyone else’s AM like this?

I know I have adhd because i was diagnosed about 5 years ago, but i’m not sure if i also have autism. There are some things that i strongly relate to in assessment lists and from anecdotes of people with autism lol but the problem is most of the symptoms are similar to adhd symptoms especially with hyperactive adhd and things like rejection sensitivity, anxiety and social difficulties etc. I will probably try to get assessed again at some point but for now im wondering if there’s a good way to distinguish between “symptoms” or characteristics between each ND type if you know you have at least one?

hello,
Im currently finishing my masters in france and it was mostly a good (far from perfect) experience but im wondering if i should continue to PHD and im not sure. my field is in law and the job market is quite hard now, i dont know if phd would improve things significantly but would at least give a few years of financing/stability. but i know it is super difficult so im not sure if its a good choice especially for a foreigner because its already hard for us. im not planning to try to be a professor but more a specialized legal expert (here they call it a “juriste”) kind of job in an organization or company.

has anyone here done a phd in france/europe in social sciences and would you recommend it? or have any insight to share? thank you🙏

Hello,

Je suis un étudiant étranger actuellement en fin de master 2 de droit public, c’est ma quatrième année en france. en ce moment, je suis à peu près à mi-chemin de la rédaction d’un memoire. Mon problème c’est que je sais pas du tout quoi faire de ma vie, j’hésite si je veux faire une these et je sais que la date limite approche très très rapidement.

au début de ce chemin, en décembre je me suis bien posé la question, et je savais pas comment y répondre. j’ai commencé les recherches en janvier et la rédaction en fin février, là j’ai actuellement 45 pages sur \~90 prévues. mon encadrant est très gentil et m’a donné seulement quelques retours sur mon texte, il a juste dit que c’est un bon début et il a pas tout vu pour l’instant. (en tout cas il est jeune et pas encore HDR donc ce sera probablement pas avec lui que je ferais si jamais) Si je postule pas à l’école doctorale je vais peut être viser des postes en tant que juriste d’entreprise ou dans les OI/ONG.

j’ai parlé à quelques doctorants au labo de ma fac, ainsi que dans d’autres facs en france, comme dans tous les domaines du monde j’imagine il y en a qui sont satisfaits et ceux qui sont mécontents. mais ça reste surtout une décision personnelle et j’arrive vraiment pas à trancher. on est 8 dans mon master à faire des mémoires en plus d’un stage et seulement 1 ou 2 sont sûrs qu’ils veulent continuer en these, le reste soit ils veulent pas soit ils hésitent aussi. en plus je sais que le marché du travail est très compliqué en ce moment pour tout le monde.

avez vous un conseil pour comment mieux trancher cette décision ? ou sinon des expériences ou des pistes à partager ? merci 🙏

Hello,

Je suis un étudiant étranger actuellement en fin de master 2 de droit public, c’est ma quatrième année en france. en ce moment, je suis à peu près à mi-chemin de la rédaction d’un memoire. Mon problème c’est que je sais pas du tout quoi faire de ma vie, j’hésite si je veux faire une these et je sais que la date limite approche très très rapidement.

au début de ce chemin, en décembre je me suis bien posé la question, et je savais pas comment y répondre. j’ai commencé les recherches en janvier et la rédaction en fin février, là j’ai actuellement 45 pages sur \~90 prévues. mon encadrant est très gentil et m’a donné seulement quelques retours sur mon texte, il a juste dit que c’est un bon début et il a pas tout vu pour l’instant. (en tout cas il est jeune et pas encore HDR donc ce sera probablement pas avec lui que je ferais si jamais) Si je postule pas à l’école doctorale je vais peut être viser des postes en tant que juriste d’entreprise ou dans les OI/ONG.

j’ai parlé à quelques doctorants au labo de ma fac, ainsi que dans d’autres facs en france, comme dans tous les domaines du monde j’imagine il y en a qui sont satisfaits et ceux qui sont mécontents. mais ça reste surtout une décision personnelle et j’arrive vraiment pas à trancher. on est 8 dans mon master à faire des mémoires en plus d’un stage et seulement 1 ou 2 sont sûrs qu’ils veulent continuer en these, le reste soit ils veulent pas soit ils hésitent aussi. en plus je sais que le marché du travail est très compliqué en ce moment pour tout le monde.

avez vous un conseil pour comment mieux trancher cette décision ? ou sinon des expériences ou des pistes à partager ? merci 🙏

hello,

Je suis un étudiant étranger actuellement en fin de master 2 de droit public, c’est ma quatrième année en france. en ce moment, je suis à peu près à mi-chemin de la rédaction d’un memoire.

Mon problème c’est que je sais pas du tout quoi faire de ma vie (en plus je suis un peu plus « âgé » ayant fait une réorientation à 23 ans et la j’en ai 27)… Alors j’hésite si je veux faire une these et je sais que la date limite approche très très rapidement.

au début de ce chemin, en décembre je me suis bien posé la question, et je savais pas comment y répondre. j’ai commencé les recherches en janvier et la rédaction en fin février, là j’ai actuellement 45 pages sur ~90 prévues. mon encadrant est très gentil et m’a donné seulement quelques retours sur mon texte, il a juste dit que c’est un bon début et il a pas tout vu pour l’instant. (en tout cas il est jeune et pas encore HDR donc ce sera probablement pas avec lui que je ferais si jamais) Si je postule pas à l’école doctorale je vais peut être viser des postes en tant que juriste d’entreprise ou dans les OI/ONG.

j’ai parlé à quelques doctorants au labo de ma fac, ainsi que dans d’autres facs en france, comme dans tous les domaines du monde j’imagine il y en a qui sont satisfaits et ceux qui sont mécontents. mais ça reste surtout une décision personnelle et j’arrive vraiment pas à trancher. on est 8 dans mon master à faire des mémoires en plus d’un stage et seulement 1 ou 2 sont sûrs qu’ils veulent continuer en these, le reste soit ils veulent pas soit ils hésitent aussi.

pour ma part j’aime bien la recherche juridique (bien que je vienne de commencer en vrai) et l’idée de pouvoir faire un projet original et d’aborder des questions de l’actualité etc, MAIS je ne vise pas les postes de MDC (je ne me projette pas comme enseignant et en plus c’est bien évidemment encore plus dur pour les étrangers/hors UE) alors avec une these potentiellement je pourrai travailler à côté et puis viser des postes plus « spécialisés » mais cette première décision/étape là me stresse déjà énormément. je n’ai aucune idée quoi faire après le m2 et en plus je sais que le marché du travail est très compliqué en ce moment pour tout le monde.

avez vous un conseil pour comment mieux trancher cette décision ? ou sinon des expériences ou des pistes à partager ? merci 🙏

what do you do when you have friends who think they’re helping but just end up being unwittingly condescending or annoying by giving extremely obvious advice or suggestions?

it’s something i’ve realized recently really bothers me. like sometimes i just make a statement or an observation or just want to complain about something or just recount a recent experience and the friend immediately jumps to trying to give advice.

for instance i was struggling a lot in one class and i was saying to my friend i have been finishing assignments late and my grades have been suffering because i haven’t been able to focus and get things done on time so i end up procrastinating. my friend said “sounds like you’re unable to organize yourself, you can’t balance your priorities” and it’s like, something i already implicitly said in my first statement so it irritated me even more when she basically just repeated it again as if it was new information.

With another classmate the other day I was ranting a bit about some social anxiety/problems I had that day and said it’s because I often take things personally and am awkward which ends up hurting my feelings or making me upset for no reason lol and he said “Hmm you shouldn’t take things personally tho!” and i was like “…ok thanks lol” 😭

Also, i have adhd and mentioned to my other friend that i’m extra tired this week because my doctor adjusted my medication last week. she said something along the lines of “well if it doesn’t work, don’t hesitate to make another appointment with the doctor to ask her to improve the treatment!” like yes i am aware that i can reserve appointments with my doctor, that’s how i got THIS appointment 😭 i ended up just not saying anything and letting it slide but it annoyed me for a good while.

I get that these kinds of friends try their best to help and genuinely think they’re helping but it honestly just makes me MORE frustrated and then i shut down. i feel like it’s so much easier in theory to be like “she’s annoying me so i’ll tell her hey btw this behavior is annoying me and then she’ll stop and everything will be great!” but in practice it’s very uncomfortable to think of what to say in a sensitive way on the spot when it’s actually happening.

sometimes you just have different communication styles but idk where the line is like maybe it’s time to find different friends?? i don’t think you should let things go and bottle up resentment but im the type of person to shut down when things pmo and then it builds up😭

do you have any friends like this? how do you respond to let them know it bothers you without making tensions or awkwardness even worse? or do you not react at all and just let them do their thing or just put distance between you?

I’ve had sibo for at least a few years and whenever it seems like my symptoms are at their worst i feel like i also get hair problems with it. like my hair seems thinner, greasier for some reason and just more limp and flaccid. i literally can see a difference in photos, there are pictures where i am healthier/at a better place with the sibo and i am thinner, skin looks smoother and hair is “normal.” ive never had thick luscious hair but it just looks like in its regular state. and then there are photos where my sibo is really flaring up and i look much heavier and more bloated, i have sallow puffy skin and my hair is extra thin and flat and limp. I have no idea if there could be a correlation but did anyone else experience this symptom?

My friend is graduating med school and wanted me to help her to make a post about it. she wanted to caption ot in french since most of her followers recently are francophone, we both live in france but don’t regularly follow social media in french (or maybe we have more outdated slang than the kids these days bc we are older gen z lol). would a native speaker say « aujourd’hui j’ai enfin terminé à la fac de médecine après 5 ans» or is there a more modern/slang way to say it that would sound more natural online? is there a way to make such a phrase seem more “native” without being too cringe?

ever since developing hydrogen sibo a while ago i keep getting foamy or sticky bowel movements. i’m currently doing alternating protocols like berberine/ antifungals /low fodmap. i was on antibiotics for a few weeks but tbh that didn’t do anything.

now even if i barely eat anything or eat healthy BM are so difficult and exhausting. like it always comes out in multiple “rounds” rather than in one go, and i spend an eternity wiping after which wastes so much time and energy. it’s like constipation for a couple days, then a sudden urge to go NOW then it comes out like maybe 1/3 of it then an hour later i have to run to go again then repeat. each time is more watery and urgent than the last. it’s almost like squeezing toothpaste out of a tube but it can only come out partially each time…

does anyone know how to get rid of this or at least make it better?

If you tell someone some information and they reply « je m’en doutais » what does it usually mean? Is it normally sincere or used sarcastically?