u/Secretkittybaby

Even with the smallest of things like showing creative artwork/writing I’d have to be perfect but he can show me all of his imperfections and I’d be there for him. I am such a hypocrite for that. But I’m genuinely just shaking I don’t think I can ever show him my creativity. And I am crying. It’s not like he’s judgemental or anything he’s the chillest guy I know. But I just want to be perfect for him because he’s more smarter than me. Then he’d just see me as a toddler with no skills who just cries while he has much stronger and smarter friends he gets along with. I hate it.

I pretend to be normal to be non chalant but I obsess about you every second checking your posts. I see how you show your passion, the creativity you have is amazing. I’d buy a few commissions just for you to notice me and talk for a little while. But after, you don’t talk to me. And it’s haunting me. You have many others but not me. I am just a simple admirer that’s what I like for you to think. But in actuality? I want you. I want you right here now and forever. Trapped against me like codependency. I want you. You got me hooked and it’s all your fault. I can always mask myself but the mask is about to slip. And you are to blame. Maybe id bombard you with money because that’s how crazy I am for you to notice me. Some drawings as well. Loads of them. For you. I don’t want the public eye to see this but I have no other choice but to do that so you’d notice me my love.

We have similar interests and he treats me really good. Why do I still see him as a friend? I don’t understand my feelings at all. I don’t deserve him. I told him already I don’t feel the same way and he doesn’t mind being friends while still having those feelings. He’s very respectful of mine tough I just can’t get why I can’t feel the same. He doesn’t push me with anything. We could’ve been perfect if I had those feelings but I know how those feelings are like because I had feelings for someone else. Got rejected and all moved on. But the guy I was falling for was long distance, I found his voice pleasant even his flaws I didn’t solely idealise him. I knew his flaws and talked to him about if something was bothering me.

Now the guy best friend lives 30 mins away from me, we have similar interests, super kind, really chill but I don’t fall for him. What is wrong with me?

We have similar interests and he treats me really good. Why do I still see him as a friend? I don’t understand my feelings at all. I don’t deserve him. I told him already I don’t feel the same way and he doesn’t mind being friends while still having those feelings. He’s very respectful of mine tough I just can’t get why I can’t feel the same. He doesn’t push me with anything.