u/Sellingmydream

I’m healing, and one thing I’m genuinely happy about is yung mga tanong na lumalabas sa isip ko ngayon are more about me than my ex or the other girl.

Lately though, parang ang empty? Bored, exhausted… ewan. 😅

Ayoko muna mag-open up sa friends ko tungkol sa life ko, kahit ok sa kanila, nahihiya na ako pagusapan pa yung pain and wala na ako maupdate kasi I been silent for a couple of months. Hindi rin ako naghahanap ng jowa. Gusto ko lang sana makakilala ng bagong tao, marinig kung paano nila tinitingnan yung buhay, learn from their experiences, and maybe find a new community.

Financially medyo nagtitipid pa ako, so hindi rin option masyado lumabas. I also stopped playing games and less na rin sa social media.

May marerecommend ba kayong apps, Discord servers, Reddit communities, or kahit anong platform where people actually have meaningful conversations? Yung tipong ibang perspective lang sa buhay, learn something new, and meet interesting people.

Feeling ko gusto ko lang palawakin ulit yung mundo ko.

May nakita akong kakilala sa YouTube…

Napa OH MY FVCK!NG GAAAHD?! talaga ako.
Hindi ko alam paano iexplain yung gulat ko sa hygiene. Hindi ito tungkol sa pagiging maganda o hindi. Iba yung nakita ko. Kasi basic hygiene is usually something na natututunan sa bahay habang lumalaki.

The irony is, someone can afford to travel and curate an aesthetic feed online, pero hindi pala automatic na kasama doon ang basic self care.

Ladies and gents, don’t underestimate basic hygiene. Brushing your teeth, washing your face, taking a bath, and using deodorant go a long way. You don’t need expensive skincare or luxury products to look put together, good hygiene will always be the foundation.

Problem/Goal: Hi people of reddit (again). I feel like my anxiety is coming back. I’m sleeping late again, and there are days na bigla na lang akong magagalit out of nowhere. I’ll feel palpitations, parang ang init sa dibdib, then my mind starts stitching everything together, yung time na nabetray ako, the timeline, the lies, the betrayal. One small trigger feels like it stitches every painful memory back together. Parang lahat ng pinagpaguran kong healing, isang iglap lang, nawawala. Suddenly, I’m right back to the person I was a year ago.

Context: I hit rock bottom last year. I lost everything I worked hard for over the last decade. I lost the career I thought I’d retire from, I was literally just two steps away from the position I always dreamed of. I lost everything, dapat may malapit na mag turn over na ako na condo but I have to back out since nawalan ng work, lost all my savings from helping my ex and I had to push for labor case kahit may anxiety at depression na.

While dealing with an ongoing labor case, I also found out my ex had been living multiple lives. I lost my savings, my confidence, and eventually my sense of self.
What hurt even more was the betrayal. Despite being civil and kind to the girl my ex cheated on me with, she still lied to me and continued their relationship. I think that’s one of the reasons I struggle to let it go. I expected her to be a girl’s girl, but instead she chose to become part of my trauma.

Then the last straw happened.

My 9-year-old dog died just days before my birthday.

Parang after nun, something inside me just broke.

Emotionally, mentally, physically… everything changed. My size went from being a medium-large girl to wearing XXXS because I could barely eat.

I’m trying so hard to move forward, but the hardest thing I’ve had to overcome isn’t even my ex anymore. It’s the anger towards the girl.

Maybe because I never got revenge on her.
Maybe because I never saw accountability.
Maybe because she came into my life when I was already at my lowest.
Or maybe because I expected another woman to know how painful it is to become “the other girl.”

I’m genuinely thankful for my family and friends because sila talaga ang reason why I keep getting back up. Pero minsan, ang weird ng triggers.

One time, I was just buying something I badly needed sa Dali. The item happened to have the same nick name as the girl.

I shake it off and even made fun like “Pati pa naman dito cheap ka pa din?”

Pero after a week, I found myself crying for days.
It made me realize that I’m still comparing myself to someone I don’t even want to become. After a few days another random trigger happens, napanaginipan ko pa nga. Parang one trigger lang, lahat ng pinagpaguran kong healing, bumabalik sa umpisa.

Months na silang hindi pumapasok sa isip ko, but one small reminder can ruin my entire week. Feeling ko minsan, lahat ng pain ko nakatago lang somewhere, tapos isang maliit na trigger lang, lahat sila sabay-sabay nagpapatong patong.

Previous attempts: I honestly thought getting a job would fix everything because I’d finally be busy again. It helped… but it wasn’t enough. May mga araw pa rin na makakita lang ako ng urgent Teams message or email, tinititigan ko lang at walang sense of urgency like it reminds me of everything I went through before.

I also tried paid therapy since napapansin ko naapektuhan na work ko. Unfortunately, I don’t think my therapist was the right fit for me. I left feeling like I was being pushed into toxic positivity, like I had to convince myself I was okay when I knew I wasn’t. Maybe I need to find another psychologist with a different approach.

I also adjusted my routine because I now work a graveyard remote shift. I push myself to go out during weekends.

I created a vision board. I started planning hobbies I want to do once my legal case is over and I can finally afford them.

I’m trying.
I really am.

Pero minsan natatakot pa rin akong lumabas because what if I accidentally see someone connected to that chapter of my life? I don’t know bakit ako takot na dapat hindi? I’m not used to being like this dahil wala talaga ako paki sa lahat dati.

—
Kaya I wanted to hear from people who have genuinely experienced rock bottom.

Not the “everything happens for a reason” type of advice, but real stories.

Did you ever feel like one random trigger could undo months of healing?
How did you finally stop comparing yourself to the people who hurt you?
How did you stop waiting for karma or accountability?
How did you know you were finally okay?

I’m not looking for pity.
I just want to hear from people who have been there because right now, I feel like I’m faking my healing.

Thank you for reading.

I don’t use TikTok that often, but when I opened it today, I came across the trend “Gaano ka kahalimaw magmahal?” One of the examples was:

Kaya ko lang naman maging kabet. (3 years)
Kaya ko lang naman tiisin kahit sobrang toxic nya.
Kaya ko tanggapin lahat para lang sa kanya.
Kaya ko lahat tiisin kahit sobrang mali na.
Kaya ko maging tanga para sa kanya.
Kaya ko mag NO sa lahat dahil ayaw nya.

What bothered me wasn’t just the video,it was the comments supporting it as in may nagsabi pa na wala sa kinakatayuan niya kaya hindi mo alam.

I understand that people can make mistakes, fall in love with the wrong person, or stay in unhealthy relationships. But when did we start treating becoming a third party or knowingly hurting another person as proof of “loving deeply”?

Ladies, are we now ok hurting other women for a men? Whatever happened to “girls support girls” when relationships are involved? Wala ba kayong hygiene cause nung nabetray ako, una ko inisip baka magkasakit ako at for sure madami pa yun ginalaw aside sa kabet.

I have a LIP kasi and napapadalas na yung paguwi na may maraming balahibo. Sinasabi niya sa friend niya but I know walang cat yun, may kutob din ako kung sino but she has a shitzu. Borrowing my friend’s account at kilala ni LIP ang reddit account ko.

T@**** talaga ng mga sobrang lustful na tao.

At some point, hindi na lang siya tungkol sa cheating eh. Mapapaisip ka na lang kung may standards o taste ba talaga sila. Kung sino-sino na lang pinapatulan. May mga kwento akong nalaman na napa “T@!*****, seryoso?” na lang ako.

Tipong pati helper ng friend papatulan tapos idadahilan na lasing lang. Like what the actual fvck? Nothing against helpers, pero mapapaisip ka talaga kung may standards pa ba o basta may opportunity, go lang.

Tapos after all that, magwo-worship worship pa at magpapanggap na changed man para lang ma-impress yung kinabet niya sa akin. Putangina, sobrang kadiri ng hypocrisy.

Nandidiri talaga ako.

The more I learn about my ex’s history, the more I realize na hindi siya dapat naging parte ng buhay ko in the first place. Hindi pala ito simpleng cheating lang. Pattern na pala talaga. Sakit pala niya talaga!

Kung sino-sino na lang. Kung anu-anong personality ang kayang isuot para makuha ang gusto. Kung alam ko lang noon lahat ng nalaman ko ngayon, aside sa pagsuka baka tinuluyan ko na talaga kasuhan.

Hindi na din ako galit sa girl pero kahit unti makita ko muka niya pagkanalaman niya lahat ng ito. Dahil sa totoo lang, nandidiri na talaga ako. Imagine, ipinagpalit at inagaw pa yan sa akin. 🤮 Funny enough, blocked pa ako agad for their peace of mind. 😂

I used to be a skeptic, pero after everything that’s happened lately, I’m starting to believe na totoo talaga yung "what you sow, you reap" and sometimes, it comes back 10-fold.

Last year was my rock bottom. I was betrayed, lost my job, and I was spiraling into anxiety and depression. Pero fast forward to today, heto ang "updates" sa mga taong sumira sa akin:

1. The Cheating Ex
He cheated on me last year, and funny enough, nagkasakit pa siya during the time na nambababae siya. Ngayon, nagkukumahog siyang bumalik sa akin. Why? Kasi lahat ng business niya bumagsak at naghihirap na siya. Totoo talaga yung sabi nila na "Behind every successful man is a woman." The moment he lost me, nawala rin yung swerte niya.

2. The Toxic Ex-Boss
I got anxiety and depression because of her. Pero lumaban ako, pina-NLRC ko siya dahil marami na siyang naging biktima. Karma hit her hard, nawalan siya ng trabaho exactly how she took mine. Mas malala pa, she’s now battling depression and baon sa utang dahil sa mga pinag yabang niyang investments noon. Ngayon, problemado siya kung saan kukuha ng pera.

3. The Best Friend
Pinakamatagal ko siyang friend pero iniwan niya ako nung sobrang lugmok ako. She unfriended me over a small misunderstanding, and that’s when I realized na hindi ko siya tunay na friend to begin with. Na heart broken ako ng malaa dito and learned the hardway na hindi porket mabait ka and you treat them as sister will be the same to you. Fast forward to now, she has 0 friends and iniwan din siya ng hubby niya months after niya akong iwan.

4. The Kabetchin sa Every Nation
She knew about me, pero tinuloy niya pa rin. Today, tago na siya sa FB at social media because of shame. I’ve met people na naging "other woman" din dati pero naging accountable at nag-sorry kaya blessed na sila ngayon. Pero siya? She’s choosing to live with the guilt and the karma. Grabe seeing how her life is now sobrang lagi na lang nagtatago dahil sa kahihiyan na ginawa niya.

To everyone na nakakaranas ng pang-aapi: Focus on healing, growing, and welcoming a positive life.
Never kong ginusto ang revenge (except legal way sa boss ko, because you should always fight for your rights). Nag-focus lang ako sa sarili ko. Now, I am living a life more than what I prayed for. I’m surrounded by true and warm people who make me feel loved.
Kaya please, stay kind. Huwag na kayong gumanti. Hayaan niyo na ang universe ang mag-balance ng lahat. ✨

P.S. I won my legal case na din, yung news dumating on the day of my birthday 🥹