u/Sensitive-Claim-6003

Hey — looking to buy a postgrad ball ticket if anyone has one going spare. Drop me a DM!

I wore hijab because my mom bribed me with a phone. I was 8.

I’m not joking. She said she’d buy me a new phone if I put it on. I thought it looked kind of cool anyway, so I said yes. That was it. That was the “choice.”

And now as a grown woman, I’m supposed to stand by that forever, a decision an 8-year-old made for a phone.

The thing that gets me is the asymmetry. Boys aren’t out here being held to the spiritual commitments they made at 8. boys are not expected to be visible markers or representations of Islam. Men in our communities get so much more room to evolve to question to quietly stop practicing things without it becoming a whole community event. But a woman’s hijab? That’s public. Everyone knows. it’s viewed as the 6th pillar of Islam when it’s NOT. Everyone’s watching. Taking it off isn’t a personal religious decision its a scandal. It’s your mom crying. It’s your aunties whispering. It’s your whole identity being called into question at once. and it’s a community hinging their idea of honor on you

So what do a lot of girls do? They keep it on for social pressure and then eventually take it off or live a double life. Not because they’ve thought it through and believe in it. Because the social cost of removing it is just too high.

I’ve seen this over and over in my community. Girls who wore it young, never had a real moment of choosing it, and spent years building up this quiet resentment , toward the hijab, toward their parents, toward the religion. And a lot of them eventually took it off. The pressure didn’t protect their faith. It just delayed the rupture and made it messier when it came. I know countless ppl like this. Some of them unfortunately even left islam

If hijab is supposed to be an act of worship, it has to actually be chosen. An 8-year-old being bribed with a phone isn’t choosing. She’s just a kid who wants a phone. And it’s not fair to then treat that moment as a binding spiritual contract she owes the rest of her life to.

Let girls actually grow into the decision. The hijab someone puts on at 22 because she genuinely believes in it is worth so much more than the one she’s been wearing since second grade because her mom made it the path of least resistance

I wore hijab because my mom bribed me with a phone. I was 8.

I’m not joking. She said she’d buy me a new phone if I put it on. I thought it looked kind of cool anyway, so I said yes. That was it. That was the “choice.”

And now as a grown woman, I’m supposed to stand by that forever, a decision an 8-year-old made for a phone.

The thing that gets me is the asymmetry. Boys aren’t out here being held to the spiritual commitments they made at 8. boys are not expected to be visible markers or representations of Islam. Men in our communities get so much more room to evolve to question to quietly stop practicing things without it becoming a whole community event. But a woman’s hijab? That’s public. Everyone knows. it’s viewed as the 6th pillar of Islam when it’s NOT. Everyone’s watching. Taking it off isn’t a personal religious decision its a scandal. It’s your mom crying. It’s your aunties whispering. It’s your whole identity being called into question at once. and it’s a community hinging their idea of honor on you

So what do a lot of girls do? They keep it on for social pressure and then eventually take it off or live a double life. Not because they’ve thought it through and believe in it. Because the social cost of removing it is just too high.

I’ve seen this over and over in my community. Girls who wore it young, never had a real moment of choosing it, and spent years building up this quiet resentment , toward the hijab, toward their parents, toward the religion. And a lot of them eventually took it off. The pressure didn’t protect their faith. It just delayed the rupture and made it messier when it came. I know countless ppl like this. Some of them unfortunately even left islam

If hijab is supposed to be an act of worship, it has to actually be chosen. An 8-year-old being bribed with a phone isn’t choosing. She’s just a kid who wants a phone. And it’s not fair to then treat that moment as a binding spiritual contract she owes the rest of her life to.

Let girls actually grow into the decision. The hijab someone puts on at 22 because she genuinely believes in it is worth so much more than the one she’s been wearing since second grade because her mom made it the path of least resistance

I wore hijab because my mom bribed me with a phone. I was 8.

I’m not joking. She said she’d buy me a new phone if I put it on. I thought it looked kind of cool anyway, so I said yes. That was it. That was the “choice.”

And now as a grown woman, I’m supposed to stand by that forever, a decision an 8-year-old made for a phone.

The thing that gets me is the asymmetry. Boys aren’t out here being held to the spiritual commitments they made at 8. boys are not expected to be visible markers or representations of Islam. Men in our communities get so much more room to evolve to question to quietly stop practicing things without it becoming a whole community event. But a woman’s hijab? That’s public. Everyone knows. it’s viewed as the 6th pillar of Islam when it’s NOT. Everyone’s watching. Taking it off isn’t a personal religious decision its a scandal. It’s your mom crying. It’s your aunties whispering. It’s your whole identity being called into question at once. and it’s a community hinging their idea of honor on you

So what do a lot of girls do? They keep it on for social pressure and then eventually take it off or live a double life. Not because they’ve thought it through and believe in it. Because the social cost of removing it is just too high.

I’ve seen this over and over in my community. Girls who wore it young, never had a real moment of choosing it, and spent years building up this quiet resentment , toward the hijab, toward their parents, toward the religion. And a lot of them eventually took it off. The pressure didn’t protect their faith. It just delayed the rupture and made it messier when it came. I know countless ppl like this

If hijab is supposed to be an act of worship, it has to actually be chosen. An 8-year-old being bribed with a phone isn’t choosing. She’s just a kid who wants a phone. And it’s not fair to then treat that moment as a binding spiritual contract she owes the rest of her life to.

Let girls actually grow into the decision. The hijab someone puts on at 22 because she genuinely believes in it is worth so much more than the one she’s been wearing since second grade because her mom made it the path of least resistance.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​