u/Several_Maybe_2683

A conversation with a good friend yesterday reminded me of my own story, and now I'm curious about what other women think of it.

My friend has been in a committed relationship for almost 1 year, and everything seems to be going alright. They have arguments sometimes, like any other couple. But... he's never said "I love you" to her. He's said "I like you," "you're sexy," "you're very attractive," "I like your body." Everything except "I love you." He's asking her to live together "to test if they're really a good fit," but still no "I love you." I find it so strange.

But it has happened to me too. This conversation reminded me of my own relationship of 3 years, when I was with a man, we lived together, and I've never heard these words from him. First, I have to add that we are from a culture where expressing emotions verbally isn't a big thing. For instance, the first time my parents told me they loved me was on my 30th birthday. I've never heard them say "I love you" to each other. It may be a factor, you know, a cultural one. I'm from an ex-Soviet country, where people are known to be very low on emotional expression.

However, I did have relationship where a man coming from a loving family with healthy dynamics told me that he loved me after about 5 months of our relationship. We started telling this to each other every evening, so I think there's more to that. Unfortunately, this relationship didn't last long because we were both very young. I left to study elsewhere, and our paths diverged.

But my ex of 3 years, with whom I lived together, told me at the end of our relationship that he liked me, but had never loved me. He said he had only been in love once, when he was at school, when he was 16 and really liked some girl. Mind you, this was coming from a 36-year-old man. I was in therapy, he wasn't. To him, love was never ending butterflies, and because after 3 years of a relationship there were fewer of those butterflies, he told me he'd never loved me.

I was trying to search here, but didn't find many threads similar to this. But what do you think of the "I love you" statement? When do you expect to hear it? At what point would you have an alarm starting to ring in your head if you never received these words? 6 months, a year, or maybe you're a believer that "actions speak louder than words," which is the norm in the culture where I grew up? And still, my take is that men who grew up in an emotionally healthy environment won't hesitate to say these words if they really feel that way.

What would you do if, after a year, you hadn't heard these words even once, like my friend, and then were invited to live together? How would you address it? Do you think men are getting more emotionally constipated?

If you're in a committed relationship or married, I'm still curious. Do you often express your love verbally to each other?

I live in Europe, it seems to be sold out online almost everywhere, at least my shade (0.5N). Still I managed to grab the last bottle at one of physical cosmetics stores in the Netherlands and spoke with a consultant. She couldn't tell me what's going on, but confirmed that they aren't receiving any more Backstage foundations for a while. Her guess is that they're either being discontinued or reformulated.

Does anyone know? It's my favorite foundation...

As I'm sitting at home with a stomachache caused by a virus, cleaning, organizing old family photos, and feeling a little nostalgic, I started wondering what childhood was like for people who grew up in the Netherlands.

What was your relationship like with your parents, siblings, and extended family? Were you close? Did you feel happy and loved? Did your family have a lot of close friends? How did you spend your free time after school? Riding your bike? Playing outside? What were your favorite holidays or traditions? Did you feel safe playing outside?

I'm just curious to learn what it felt like growing up in the Netherlands 10, 20, 30<you name it>, .. years ago. Do you ever miss those days? Do you think the world has become a better place since then, or a worse one? If there is one thing from your childhood that you could have back today, what would it be?

Šiandien perskaičiau straipsnį, kaip dvyliktokė nesuvaldė BMW ir užsimušė, lenkdama kitą automobilį. Pirmiausiai tai iškart sakau, kad tikrai nuoširdžiai užjaučiu merginos artimuosius, niekam nelinkėti tokios avarijos, baigties, šeimai tokio skausmo. O šita tema labiau pamąstymas apie mūsų žiniasklaidą.

Taip kad, kai einu per straipsnius žiniasklaidoje, tai matau dvigubus standartus. Visi puolė tą vardą pasikeitusią lenktynininkę Ešli iš Žirmūnų, bet treatina šią nelaimėlę palyginus kaip saint. Nes gavo penkis šimtukus ir atsiėmė apdovanojimą ne per seniausiai. Bet to be completely fair, ji garantuotai vedama savo nepatirties ir jaunatviško durnumo (žinau, nes pas tokiam amžiuj buvau durnas, ir jokie penki šimtukai čia prie ko) tiesiog lenkė priekyje važiavusį auto, kuris ir taip važiavo max leistinu greičiu. Jeigu jos automobilyje būtų buvę keleivių, tai galimai būtų ir juos pražudžiusi. "Lenkimas toje vietoje nėra draudžiamas, tačiau, pasak policijos, jauna vairuotoja automobilį lenkė neįsitikinusi, kad tai daryti saugu, išvažiavo į priešingos krypties eismo juostą ir susidūrė su priešais atvažiuojančiu sunkvežimiu MAN, vairuojamu vyro (gim. 1963 m.). Nuo smūgio sunkvežimis nuskriejo į griovį, per susidūrimą buvo kliudytas ir „Ford Galaxy“. Realiai ši avarija yra merginos nepatyrimo kaltė ir visa laimė, kad daugiau nieko jinai neužmušė. Bet straipsniuose šimtukai ir akademinė sėkmė, dar kad buvo labai protinga. Again, užjaučiu visus artimuosius, nu neduok dieve tokia nelaimė, bet koks tikslas daryti iš kaltininkės šventąją?

Hey, I keep seeing posts about dating, and unfortunately I'm back on the apps myself. And I hate it.

I don't know if it's just my bad luck, but it really feels like something is off with single men over 35.

The types I usually come across are:

Men who aren't serious and are just straight-up liars. I usually catch them pretty early because I ask very direct questions.

Then there are men who say they want a serious relationship, but their lifestyle clearly shows they wouldn't even have room for one.

Men who are perfectly average (which is fine, most of us are), but they're so entitled that they act like dating them would be winning the lottery. Sometimes I genuinely can't believe some of the profiles. A 35-year-old guy who looks 45, is bald, has a beer belly, and then lists requirements like "tall, slim, long hair partner preferred" Do they ever look in the mirror?

Men who seem amazing on paper with professional photos, great careers, often entrepreneurs or tech bros. Then you talk to them and realize the resume is too good to be true. They're often workaholics, looking for a household appliance instead of a partner, and more often then not are emotionally unavailable.

Men who are openly sexist or just complete jerks.

I have quite a few single female friends who are beautiful, accomplished, have hobbies, live full and active lives, and still can't seem to meet an emotionally mature, empathetic man who genuinely wants a serious relationship or a family. And no luck. But the have standards, so they stay single instead

So, in your experience, what is the biggest problem with men over 35 on dating apps or in the wild for that matter, and why?

I live in Europe, but I keep reading similar posts from women all over the world, so it seems like a pretty global phenomenon.

And if you actually met someone great later in life, what worked for you? Did you get off the apps? Use something other than Tinder or Bumble? Or did you stop using apps altogether and meet someone in real life? I'm out in the real world a lot too, but so far I've had no luck there either.

Puslapis www.daterokas.lt Ko trūksta, kad merginos deitintų? Ką bendrai manot apie tokią idėją save pristatyti online?

www.daterokas.lt

Ar deitintumėt? Kodėl taip arba ne?

Hi redditors of NL,

I'm writing this post out of desperation because I feel like I'm losing it.

Some months ago, I lost my job in the Netherlands due to layoffs. I moved to the Netherlands in 2023 from another European country after being headhunted by my employer at the time. I was good at my job, had great references, relevant certifications, a team that liked me, and a team that I genuinely liked too. I have a master's degree and over 10 years of work experience in the industry

Unfortunately, my company went through several rounds of layoffs, and I was impacted by the latest one in 2026. I was in a leadership position, responsible for the delivery of several teams. Around the same time, I also broke up with my former partner because of infidelity.

When I got laid off, I didn't think the job market was this bad. I've never really struggled to find work before. It never took me more than a couple of months, and I usually started looking while I was still employed. So at first, I wasn't too pessimistic. I thought that if I put in enough effort, I'd find something.

That hasn't been the case.

I'm still looking and applying every day, although there aren't that many opportunities and those that get posted receive hundreds of applications. My unemployment benefits have now ended because I haven't lived and worked in the Netherlands for very long, so I've started dipping into my savings as well.

Financially, I'm still okay. I can pay my rent, taxes, insurance, groceries, and all my other expenses. But mentally, I've been going downhill.

My days feel empty. I feel unproductive. As someone who has worked full-time for more than a decade, it's really hard. It hurts my self-esteem. I also feel very isolated, living alone without a partner and with only a few friends who live quite far away in different cities.

I'm now thinking about applying for any kind of work in the meantime. Something simple. Tourist shops, hotels, cafés, anything really. I feel like I need to get out of the house and interact with people more and get some extra money.

So I'm wondering if anyone could recommend some alternatives or companies around Amsterdam-Haarlem area that might be looking for temporary staff while I continue searching for something in my own field.

I'm also curious if anyone here is in a similar situation. How are you coping, especially with the loneliness and isolation if you live alone?

Thank you to everyone who takes the time to read this, and to anyone who shares advice, suggestions, or their own experiences.

I've noticed that with prices going up like crazy, I've become a lot more careful with my money. I used to enjoy grabbing coffee to go, eating out more often, or going for drinks, but I don't do those things as much anymore. Instead, I invite friends over for dinner or they invite me. Sometimes we just go for walks and bring coffee we made at home.

I'm curious if there’s anything you’ve recently stopped buying or any services you’ve stopped using because of rising costs, as well as any small habits that help you save money. Would love to hear your tips, from canceling a subscription to major habit changes.

Hi lovely people,

I’m a foreigner who used to live in the Netherlands, and I still visit often for work. There are many things I really love about this beautiful country, especially the biking infrastructure and how well organized everything is.

But because I spend a lot of time in Dutch cities, I can’t help but notice that they seem to be getting dirtier every year. I’m not talking about garbage collection, because I know that’s a separate issue. I’m talking more about what feels like a very relaxed attitude toward littering. A lot of people just don’t seem to care, and others don’t step in when they see someone doing something wrong. I once asked my Dutch coworkers about it, and they told me, “It’s just minorities who don’t know how to behave,” but I didn’t buy that.

I’ve seen all kinds of things. Families walking with small kids, drinking takeaway coffee, then just leaving the empty cups on the pavement and walking off. People smoking and tossing cigarette butts onto the street all the time. Dog owners very often not picking up after their dogs. All kinds of people having food in parks when the weather is nice, then leaving their rubbish behind. I’ve also seen people try to use a bin, notice that it’s full, and then just leave their trash next to it. To me, the sensible thing would be to keep your rubbish with you and throw it away later when you find another bin, or just take it home if you have to.

I’ve also noticed that teenagers, kids, and even some adults sometimes put their shoes up on train seats. The seats get dirty, and then someone else has to sit there later. Nobody says anything, not even conductors checking tickets. I could probably give many more examples, but I think the picture is already clear.

What I’ve always found interesting is whether this gets any special attention in education, like in schools. Do kids actually learn that this kind of behavior is unacceptable? Are there laws against it, and do people ever get fined? To me, it often feels so normalized that many people don’t even see it as a problem, or they think, “not my problem, someone will clean it up anyway.” Do you see it as a problem too? What do you think would be an effective way to discourage littering altogether?

TD;LR I come from a culture where littering is looked down on very strongly and is usually associated only with very low IQ people or homelessness, so I find it surprising in an otherwise well organized society. These days I travel a lot to Japan and Singapore, and I also used to live in Japan, and people are so clean and well behaved there. It’s on another level. Not even Switzerland comes close. If you throw a cigarette butt on the street, a stranger behind you will definitely tell you that’s not acceptable. At worst, you’ll be fined immediately. The idea of a family with small kids just leaving empty plastic coffee cups behind and walking away is basically unheard of there. So I’m really left wondering, how come?