Entire utensil fell into the gravy again, handle and all
This one just happened to me so I thought I’d post.
Imagine you’re enjoying a nice meal, and you go to put your spoon down for a second, and it just slides into the sauce. Now the handle is covered in sauce.
And maybe you didn’t notice at first and you picked it up, and now your hands are sticky and full of sauce. And then maybe you shouted a truly offensive string of horrible things for 5 minutes straight in front of your in-laws. Or maybe you did notice the sauce-covered handle and picked it up to lick it off, but accidentally made weird eye-contact with your mother-in-law the entire time you were licking that utensil shaft.
Either way, your spouse has left with the kids and taken the house, and now you’re living on the dirty streets trading favors for silly pills under a bridge.