▲ 47 r/Spoons+1 crossposts

Entire utensil fell into the gravy again, handle and all

This one just happened to me so I thought I’d post.

Imagine you’re enjoying a nice meal, and you go to put your spoon down for a second, and it just slides into the sauce. Now the handle is covered in sauce.

And maybe you didn’t notice at first and you picked it up, and now your hands are sticky and full of sauce. And then maybe you shouted a truly offensive string of horrible things for 5 minutes straight in front of your in-laws. Or maybe you did notice the sauce-covered handle and picked it up to lick it off, but accidentally made weird eye-contact with your mother-in-law the entire time you were licking that utensil shaft.

Either way, your spouse has left with the kids and taken the house, and now you’re living on the dirty streets trading favors for silly pills under a bridge.

reddit.com
u/Shanksworthy73 — 1 day ago

Looking for Saputo Gold Mozzarella

I’ve been trying to find this pizza mozzarella that’s normally only available through food service channels. I remember seeing old comments mentioning that it was occasionally available at some Costco Business Centres. Does anyone’s Costco carry this? My city (Calgary) doesn’t have a business centre, but if yours does and happens to carry this specific product, then I’d like to grab some next time I’m in your city.

The Costco-exclusive Saputo “Deluxe” version (1Kg block) is fine but not exactly what I’m looking for. Nor is the Saputo Mozzarellissima version available in grocery stores. One is a bit too rubbery (minimal stretch), and the other has an unappealing texture with a weird sheen/gloss. The Gold recipe OTOH is god-tier, but rarely available in the wild. I’ve only ever tried it in pizzerias while visiting Quebec, but I live in Calgary where restaurants cut corners and no pizzerias here use premium mozz.

My local Saputo Food Service rep has been unresponsive to my inquiries, so I’m now grasping at straws.

u/Shanksworthy73 — 13 days ago

Traditional Mtl-style pizza recipe

I recently moved to Western Canada and discovered that what people here call “Greek pizza” is nothing like the nostalgic Montreal Greco-Italian-style pizza I grew up with in the ‘70s. I’m talking about places like Marconi, Elio’s, Pendelli’s, Gigi’s, and Casa Rita, with mountains of mild mortadella-like pepperoni stacked underneath loads of cheese. On the surface they’re similar, but the flavour/texture nuances are very different. Anyone who’s moved away from QC and craved this style knows exactly what I mean. Some Montrealers love it, while some consider this to be “unrefined overly-heavy pizza”, but anywhere else in Canada it would be considered an artisanal masterpiece, a toothsome pie worthy of the Greek gods themselves, and would destroy any other pub/greek-style pizza they could offer up.

I’ve been trying to recreate it at home and I’m about 97% there. I’ve got the Roma pepperoni, Saputo Deluxe Pizza cheese from Costco (close enough), and I’ve even nailed the sauce.

The one thing I can’t quite crack is the dough.

I’ve tried countless recipes and they’re all close, but none have that signature Montreal texture: a soft, fluffy, almost milk-bread-like crumb with a lightly crisp exterior. Mine always ends up just a bit too chewy.

I’ve heard 7-Up is the secret, but it didn’t make much difference for me. Whole milk helped a little, but still wasn’t quite it. I’ve also tried the popular YouTube “Montreal Pizza/7up” recipe that gets shared a lot, and it wasn’t the one either.
If anyone has a traditional Montreal Greek pizza dough recipe—or knows what the missing ingredient or technique is—I’d love to hear it.

In the meantime, here are a few of my attempts. (Yes, some pepperoni is on top because my son likes it crispy.)

u/Shanksworthy73 — 24 days ago
▲ 94 r/ooni+1 crossposts

Today’s lunch

My family’s favorite, the Montreal all-dressed (pepperoni, green pepper, mushroom).
One has all the pepperoni stacked under the cheese (Mtl-style), and the other has some on top (my son’s preference).

I know, “pep under the cheese” is heresy to some people. Montreal-style pepperoni is actually softer/milder and more like mortadella, so it’s more like a deli salami you’d put in a sandwich.

I’m still experimenting with the dough, trying to get it a little more fluffy than chewy. I used Julian Sisofo’s poolish method, and I augmented it by adding a bit of whole milk powder this time, which made an improvement (see this article). But I might reconsider my Robin Hood BF brand loyalty and switch to a different brand next time.

u/Shanksworthy73 — 27 days ago
▲ 58 r/ooni+1 crossposts

20” pep/salami, green pepper, olive

First pizza of the season! Used the wrong kind of flour for long/low bake (Caputo Pizzeria 00) and no oil/sugar, so had to bake a bit hotter/longer to brown the crust. Consequently cheese browned a bit more than desired, but we enjoyed it anyway.

u/Shanksworthy73 — 1 month ago

People who refuse to alter their speaking pattern for someone who they know is legit hard of hearing, then being surprised/annoyed at being asked to repeat

It’s one thing to be annoyed when having to repeat yourself for someone who wasn’t listening; but why does is it also seem to be a knee-jerk reaction to sigh and roll eyes when repeating for someone with genuine hearing challenges? I know so many people like this, where you can almost read the “what are you, DEAF?” right on their face when they know damned well.

And worse yet, when people have been told and are fully aware that the person they’re talking to is hard of hearing, yet insist on continuing to talk in their normal voice without making any accommodations, and THEN are surprised and annoyed when they weren’t heard.

Presumably they actually WANTED the other person to hear them — so why would they think their normal voice would accomplish that, when it didn’t the past 50 times?

This has become an annoyance with me at pub meetups, because I have a very hard time hearing people in noisy environments. I’ve made my colleagues aware of this, but there are a few in particular who mumble and compress their words every time, and are difficult to hear under the best of circumstances. They get so annoyed when I politely ask them to repeat, I really don’t even want to go anymore. And at this point it almost seems like they don’t want to be heard the first time, just so that they can have a reason to be annoyed.

reddit.com
u/Shanksworthy73 — 1 month ago

Toilet Paper Delamination Event (TPDE)

You know when you go to pull some toilet paper from the roll, but you accidentally catch only the outer ply? The two plies separate, and from that point onward they’re out of sync. Every subsequent pull gives you two disconnected strips coming from different parts of the roll, and they stubbornly refuse to realign.

Oh sure, you can unwind the outer ply until it catches up with its mate — but wouldn’t you rather be spending that time reading this sub?

reddit.com
u/Shanksworthy73 — 3 months ago
▲ 115 r/PetPeeves

“Yes, but the REAL question is…”

No. The REAL question is the one I goddamned asked. Stop hijacking my question to insert your own question. Go hop someone else’s train, GREG.

reddit.com
u/Shanksworthy73 — 3 months ago

The Brother Moves On, South African punk/jazz/funk/art collective

Song title is “Shiyanomayini”. Their musical style is all over the map, but this early song is among their most accessible.

youtu.be
u/Shanksworthy73 — 3 months ago

Grocery store aisle barricaders

Here’s a petty one, so I’ll mark it as Bit Annoyed…
I get that people need to walk away from their carts to browse momentarily, but why do some people absolutely insist on blockading the entire aisle to do that??!

I just got back from Costco, and this happened every time I went down an aisle. I’ll be walking behind someone, and I’ll see them pulling up beside another abandoned cart — and instead of pulling through and leaving a space for others to get through like a decent human, they’ll just stop there and walk away, just damming up the entire aisle like an inconsiderate little beaver.

Like… all you had to do was turn your head slightly to see me and 5 other annoyed people trapped there waiting while you rummage for the best looking cut of meat. With a modicum of consideration or spatial awareness, you could just as easily have made space for others to get by.

reddit.com
u/Shanksworthy73 — 3 months ago
▲ 11 r/Bagels

I just got a 5L spiral mixer a few weeks ago (mainly for making pizza dough), and was looking for more excuses to use it. I figured low-hydration Montreal-style bagel dough would be a pretty challenging test, and the mixer had no problems with it.

I was very happy about how it turned out. I think maybe the crumb was a bit more airy than is typical of a denser Mtl-bagel (sorry no pics — the kitchen was chaotic with 4 people all trying to achieve different goals 🙂), but the taste was spot-on. The ones in the 2nd pic were from a later batch and were a bit closer to authentic. That’s probably down to how I shaped them — just learning as I go.

Next time I’ll try to use less yeast and/or shorter proof time, and I’ll try to bake them in the Ooni for better consistency, instead of on steel in the home oven.

u/Shanksworthy73 — 4 months ago

I don’t know if there’s any equivalent to this in the Ladies’, but in the Men’s, there’s always some dude who’s maybe a little bit too confident for his own good, who swaggers in just whistling a jaunty tune at the urinals, kind of looking around being some aggressive Mr Sunshine.

“What’s wrong with being in a good mood?”

Man, stop being a weird peacock. Keep your eyes to yourself and do your business quietly like everyone else.

reddit.com
u/Shanksworthy73 — 4 months ago